indingrl.01.06.2011

Understanding

Blog Post created by indingrl.01.06.2011 on Feb 21, 2018

MY old memory of quick FIXES to rid of uncomfort in any form sends ME into the OLD solutions to use again if I CHOOSE to go backwards. Today I was given MY rigorous honest TRUTH about ME and please I am talking about ME not anyone else so please take what HELPS and leave the rest to be HELPFUL is MY only aim thank you! MY personal CHOICE to not use nicotine today is NOT because I haven't used in 7 years. MY personal CHOICE to STAY QUIT and deal with MY feelings TODAY in MY personal responsibilities MY OWN PERSONAL LIFE is thankfulness in UNDERSTANDING MY Higher Power God. Who ONLY by his grace I am not dead from using nicotine for 38 years. Gods grace goodness tender mercies and unconditional love has taught ME to use MY PAST EXPERIENCE WITH USING NICOTINE AND LEARN WHAT NOT TO DO AGAIN - Insanity returns instantly when I allow thoughts into MY NEW MIND and allow them to take ROOT these thoughts are subtle... sneaky... sly.... the insane thought comes in saying....just one wont hurt ME....another insane thought follows....I been NICOTINE FREE FOR 7 years I will CONTROL it... then another insane thought follows that....I will ONLY use one cigarette a day... more insane thoughts come quickly faster than ever.... I wont get lung cancer... it happens to others..these are known as EVIL WEEDS from MY DESIRES THAT I USE to be....MY OLD USING LIFE ADDICT THOUGHTS! So I pray and ask God HELP! Now RECOVERY thoughts come IMMEDIATELY....one is too many and a thousand is NEVER enough .... NOW it was SUGGESTED today to try embracing RECOVERY FROM NICOTINE FREEDOM thought life quickly remember it is OK TODAY IN MYSELF TO CONGRATULATE MYSELF! For CHOOSING the thought life thinking patterns of  NOT ONE PUFF OVER ME! Happenings in MY TODAY world is news of my husbands mom in surgery for lump removal in her breast TODAY and she has requested NO VISITORS.... my husband has ACCEPTED his mom's request...her only son....I personally don't UNDERSTAND and then my heart lesson in acceptance of news that Billy Graham died today at age 99....MY recovery is just for today to UNDERSTAND I freely choose to feel the feelings of confusion with thoughts of what if...it was MY mom what would I do? I was just reminded by my husband that I gave him a devotional prayer book by Billy Graham yesterday and my husband said I read it today and he goes to heaven its a sign.... his mom is 94 years young... so I UNDERSTAND using nicotine NEVER solved anything for ME and I UNDERSTAND life is just happening just like it does to EVERYONE! I UNDERSTAND the choices to deal and feeling yet wanting to escape these feelings rushing in OH ABOUT EVERYTHING yet to remember I was taught how to cope how to be grow up and have self restraint when things do NOT go MY way... for ME with MY God given brain I will CHOOSE to use it to remain NICOTINE FREE and feeling all MY emotions and the mentally anguish of being powerless to CHANGE anyone. I was taught coping skills to handle MY life on lifes terms to let go and let God and to let people live their lives! To accept my husband CHOICES and MY husband's mom CHOICES and her request. To accept Graham family's loss and most important for ME A RECOVERING NICOTINE ADDICT to NOT play God and to accept and respond to humility by God grace to UNDERSTAND I CHOOSE to believe MY responsibility is to NEVER TAKE ANOTHER PUFF and to mind MY OWN business just by enjoying MY day and to help when ASKED! I am very capable today in UNDERSTANDING there is a God and I am NOT him!  I am so GRATEFUL as is ALL the people in MY life.... laughing out loud now physically while NEW thoughts come quickly in taking ROOT...I remember to pull those WEEDS OUT NOW before I allow them to take ROOT in MY OWN MIND that is MY responsibility NOT TO LET WEEDS take ROOT...Always to TRY and remember to give thanks to God for Billy Graham teachings. Thank God for ALL family. Thank God for keeping ME nicotine free NO MATTER WHAT and it is OK if I dont UNDERSTAND or do UNDERSTAND. Thank God for this support group website of RECOVERING FROM NICOTINE FAMILY in MY Lord Jesus name amen and for ME to just keep on keeping on

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