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What's that doing for you?

Seriously, what do you think is going on besides you clinging to something, and, not even for the drug part?


Isn't That The Perfect Example Of The Hold It Has On Your Life?


Stop Clinging! Get On With It!

There's nothing to fear but fear itself!



Posted by indingrl.01.06.2011 Feb 26, 2018

It was said to ME every time I USED MY DRUG OF CHOICE NICOTINE AGAIN and again and again.... IF you always DO..... USED NICOTINE MY WAY.... what you've always done..... I THOUGHT OF A BETTER WAY TO USE NICOTINE THIS TIME you'll always get what you always got..I PROVE TO MYSELF I AM ADDICTED TO NICOTINE.....I HAVE PROVEN THIS TO MYSELF BUT......MY PRIDE convinces ME to NOT take MY NICOTINE ADDICTION SERIOUSLY! Please I am talking about ME not anyone else so take what helps and let go of the rest to be HELPFUL is MY only aim thank you..MY PRIDE always came up with an excuse and BUT was always before MY EXCUSE... BUT I thought it would be diffferent using NO filtered smokes....BUT this happened... BUT I am smarter than you...BUT then it was said to ME try a NEW way of thinking about the way you USE that word BUT and next time you hear yourself use that word BUT......STOP......and picture a BIG FAT HAIRY BUTT SITTING ON YOUR FACE AND YOU BELIEVE YOUR OWN BUT EXCUSE for USING NICOTINE AGAIN and just maybe by Gods grace you will SMELL YOUR OWN BULL and come OUT of YOUR OWN DENIAL of why I always DO what I have always DOne EXPECTING a different result... this is how I USE TO THINK... then I read Byron's early death article at and it brought ME out of MY PRIDEFUL SELF RIGHTEOUS DENIAL... it aint just a river in Egypt....I read TODAY Quentin's early death article written by his momma at the last thing he did before dying... he didn't ask to hold and kiss his baby daughter months old he didnt ask to hug and kiss his mom.... he didnt ask to look up at the sky... he reached for his drug NICOTINE.... he USED NICOTINE....please go read the article for YOURSELF...dont take MY word on it...Quentin was 23... what is your DO? to use ONE more just because you DONT want to grow up and be responsible for your CHOICES your OWN life to continue to blame OTHERS for YOUR free will CHOICE to DO....... keep on keeping on

Good day everyone! Just stopping in to let you know that I’m really busy once again. My son purchased a modular home to move into, and when I went by to see how things were going, I discovered that the drywall work was being done by people who have no business doing drywall patches.


So, needless to say they’re gone now and I’m finishing it for free. Sad that he still has to pay them guys. I told him to chalk it up as a learning experience and be happy it won’t cose him anymore to correct.


When I started on this job, I thought back to my smoking days for some reason. The first thing I noticed was how much time I now save. In the old days, I’d have a cigarette hanging out of my mouth as I unloaded onto the porch. Then I’d put it out and pull everything inside (we’ve never smoked in the houses). Then I would have to step out for another cigarette.


After that, I’d usually work for about an hour before my addition demanded attention. Out I would go again, a slave to my own addicted mind. I realized that with all of the times I’d slipped out to feed my addiction, that I lost well over an hour for that day.


Just think of how much time we waste every day that we smoke! And as for the so called relaxation that smoking supposedly brings, I discovered that I’m much calmer now that I’m free of the old ball and chain.


Something else I noticed is that I don’t get winded as easily, even though I have a mild case of COPD. Also, I’m much more aware of the task at hand. It’s amazing how much an addiction can distract us, as we plan the next feeding session for our addicted minds, never realizing that the thought of the next cigarette is always in the back of the mind.


And the feeling of overall well being is just an amazing feeling to have all of the time.

So the next time you think that nothing good is happening when you quit smoking, take a moment to see how much more time you have. Sure, we’re never calm at first but the important thing when quitting is to focus on all of the positive things that your doing, rather than focusing on what we perceive as a loss.


If we can keep our minds focused on the good that’s happening with every moment of our quits, then it becomes harder for the addiction to sway us. Even as we live through the endless argument that the mind creates, we can focus on the positive side of that argument and eventually the part of our minds that wants to quit will come to the forefront.


After the first few days, the war is no longer with the physical aspect of a quit. After a few days, the war is fought inside of our own minds. We have to one by one tear the tentacles of addiction from ourselves, casting them away in anticipation of a brighter future. We have to give strength to the part of our minds that knows what is right, and find ways to ignore the addict within that we all must face.


The main thing to remember is that it gets easier every day, even if it’s hard to notice at first, but over time and with a little commitment, the addicted part of our minds are overwhelmed by the part of our minds that knows what’s right.


And it never comes like a thunderclap but one day you wake up and realize that you’re free! That all of the anguish is now in the past. Nothing but a memory of a time in our past that seemed hard at the time, but became the blooming flower of a successful quit.


Believe in yourself and one day you’ll be free. One day you’ll be at peace. One day you’ll look back and realize that if you hadn’t put out that last cigarette. If you hadn’t stayed on the path to freedom, then you wouldn’t be experiencing the wonders of freedom now. I look forward to hearing of your own freedom, because what I’m feeling right now, as a recovered addict is nothing short of amazing, and I love it every time another finds the peace that awaits them!






Day 5 - not giving up

Posted by DonnaMarie Feb 23, 2018

I had a rough morning and really wanted to smoke. I've wanted to smoke more today than any day so far. What is it about day 5? 


I'm prepping the house and my life for surgery next Friday. It's real. I finished all the medical pre-op stuff tomorrow. It's not a big deal - just fixing a bone thing in my left shoulder. It will change the way we live around here for a bit, though. I'll have to ask for help and all that good stuff.


So, my brain, just now....this very minute.... answered my own question. Day 5 for me is also the day after the day when I finalized all pre-op plans! I'm going to have to give up control - ask for help pulling up pants and simple things. I've been exerting a lot of control over the desire to remain smoke-free and have been winning. It's all about control! I need to think on this one a bit.


Anyway, I am still here, just wasn't interested in being social most of the day. I've kept busy with cutting fabric, sewing, getting ready to rearrange furniture so I can sleep in the recliner, and painting rocks. Anything. Everything. You know the deal.


I also painted on the back of my no smoking rock. Surprisingly (not), this is what I added to it:




Nice thing that happened

Posted by DonnaMarie Feb 22, 2018

My daughter has been after me for years to stop smoking. She's 33. She used to fuss at me when she was little and it continued throughout the years. I've quit many times and though she's always proud of me, she doubles down on me when I start back up. I have specifically not mentioned this quit to her. I haven't made a big deal of it anywhere but here on BecomeAnEx. I want to be sure, you know?


I have posted on Twitter using the #quitsmoking tag. There are a few loyal people out there and I've even met an author of a "how I quit" book (I'm reading his book now). My daughter is on Twitter, but doesn't go there often at all. But, her best friend does. 


Allison (daughter) called tonight to say hi. She's living in Boston (I'm in Virginia), so we keep in touch via phone and Facetime often. She asked about my upcoming surgery. She hinted around about this and that, then asked me what's up. Somehow, I ended up mentioning my running errands today without smoking and feeling pretty pumped about that. She said "that's the best news I've heard in such a long time." 


I felt so good about that. I eventually told her about my little quit smoking rock and that I didn't inform her of the quit because I've disappointed her so many times before and wanted to be certain this was really happening. This amazing little girl who is now an amazing young woman did nothing but encourage me and tell me how proud she was of me. 


Yeah, I cried a little. Nothing like a little something positive from one of your kids

Day 52...

Posted by Tryingmydarndest Feb 22, 2018

I realize just how much I need to sort through after finding this site just two days ago, and after learning more and more. I’m finding so many tools to help. I want to read Allen Carr’s book (should I get the one specifically for women?). I wonder if I’m going about this all wrong. I’m on week 8 of step 1 patch. I can’t seem to be ready for the next step. I tried for a few days and was dizzy and miserable. I couldn’t function well, including driving which I really need to be able to do to drop off and pick up my daughter from school. 

The depression is lightening up, which is good. It was exacerbated last week I know from the shooting at the high school I graduated from and when one of my classmates was killed. 

I also realize I have been codependent on my husband. Every time he leaves the house I get angry that he’s probably going to smoke. He’s also codependent on me. He’s affected by my depression, my personality change. I know I don’t feel like myself and haven’t for weeks. We aren’t supporting each other like we always do. He is so proud of me but his addiction wants me to smoke with him again, and I want him to quit with me. He said last night that if I were to start smoking again it would solve all of our (and my) problems, even though he knew it was a messed up thought that was driven by his addiction. I asked him to please stop encouraging me in any way to smoke, and he agreed, though he says he has to fight doing it all of the time. My gosh this addiction is powerful and so clever too. 

I hope this No Man’s Land goes by quickly and I can start to feel like myself again. I know I’m so wrapped up in my own world with my quitting, but maybe I need to put me first—for once!! I think it’s a shock for my husband to see me be like this when normally all day is about my kids and taking care of everyone else and then all evening listening to and supporting him as he needed.  

I’m so grateful for all of the encouragement and support from all of the people here (do people read these or is it only for me?) and wow, it has made such a difference! 

Staying strong- yay for me!


Help please

Posted by DonnaMarie Feb 22, 2018

I'm asking for everyone's strength today. I know it may seem silly, but I have errands again and I'm scared to death to do all this driving. I have my no smoking rock. I have my mints. I have a bottle of water. I am weak and yet I intend to be strong. Please ride along with me this morning and send "DON'T SMOKE" vibes. I promise to return the favor. 


I'll check in this afternoon after all is said and done. I'll be listening to the wind to hear y'all


Day 4!



Posted by indingrl.01.06.2011 Feb 21, 2018

MY old memory of quick FIXES to rid of uncomfort in any form sends ME into the OLD solutions to use again if I CHOOSE to go backwards. Today I was given MY rigorous honest TRUTH about ME and please I am talking about ME not anyone else so please take what HELPS and leave the rest to be HELPFUL is MY only aim thank you! MY personal CHOICE to not use nicotine today is NOT because I haven't used in 7 years. MY personal CHOICE to STAY QUIT and deal with MY feelings TODAY in MY personal responsibilities MY OWN PERSONAL LIFE is thankfulness in UNDERSTANDING MY Higher Power God. Who ONLY by his grace I am not dead from using nicotine for 38 years. Gods grace goodness tender mercies and unconditional love has taught ME to use MY PAST EXPERIENCE WITH USING NICOTINE AND LEARN WHAT NOT TO DO AGAIN - Insanity returns instantly when I allow thoughts into MY NEW MIND and allow them to take ROOT these thoughts are subtle... sneaky... sly.... the insane thought comes in saying....just one wont hurt ME....another insane thought follows....I been NICOTINE FREE FOR 7 years I will CONTROL it... then another insane thought follows that....I will ONLY use one cigarette a day... more insane thoughts come quickly faster than ever.... I wont get lung cancer... it happens to others..these are known as EVIL WEEDS from MY DESIRES THAT I USE to be....MY OLD USING LIFE ADDICT THOUGHTS! So I pray and ask God HELP! Now RECOVERY thoughts come is too many and a thousand is NEVER enough .... NOW it was SUGGESTED today to try embracing RECOVERY FROM NICOTINE FREEDOM thought life quickly remember it is OK TODAY IN MYSELF TO CONGRATULATE MYSELF! For CHOOSING the thought life thinking patterns of  NOT ONE PUFF OVER ME! Happenings in MY TODAY world is news of my husbands mom in surgery for lump removal in her breast TODAY and she has requested NO VISITORS.... my husband has ACCEPTED his mom's request...her only son....I personally don't UNDERSTAND and then my heart lesson in acceptance of news that Billy Graham died today at age 99....MY recovery is just for today to UNDERSTAND I freely choose to feel the feelings of confusion with thoughts of what was MY mom what would I do? I was just reminded by my husband that I gave him a devotional prayer book by Billy Graham yesterday and my husband said I read it today and he goes to heaven its a sign.... his mom is 94 years young... so I UNDERSTAND using nicotine NEVER solved anything for ME and I UNDERSTAND life is just happening just like it does to EVERYONE! I UNDERSTAND the choices to deal and feeling yet wanting to escape these feelings rushing in OH ABOUT EVERYTHING yet to remember I was taught how to cope how to be grow up and have self restraint when things do NOT go MY way... for ME with MY God given brain I will CHOOSE to use it to remain NICOTINE FREE and feeling all MY emotions and the mentally anguish of being powerless to CHANGE anyone. I was taught coping skills to handle MY life on lifes terms to let go and let God and to let people live their lives! To accept my husband CHOICES and MY husband's mom CHOICES and her request. To accept Graham family's loss and most important for ME A RECOVERING NICOTINE ADDICT to NOT play God and to accept and respond to humility by God grace to UNDERSTAND I CHOOSE to believe MY responsibility is to NEVER TAKE ANOTHER PUFF and to mind MY OWN business just by enjoying MY day and to help when ASKED! I am very capable today in UNDERSTANDING there is a God and I am NOT him!  I am so GRATEFUL as is ALL the people in MY life.... laughing out loud now physically while NEW thoughts come quickly in taking ROOT...I remember to pull those WEEDS OUT NOW before I allow them to take ROOT in MY OWN MIND that is MY responsibility NOT TO LET WEEDS take ROOT...Always to TRY and remember to give thanks to God for Billy Graham teachings. Thank God for ALL family. Thank God for keeping ME nicotine free NO MATTER WHAT and it is OK if I dont UNDERSTAND or do UNDERSTAND. Thank God for this support group website of RECOVERING FROM NICOTINE FAMILY in MY Lord Jesus name amen and for ME to just keep on keeping on

Day 9 continued........ 

Posted by Wendyjok Feb 16, 2018

Well it's about 3:30 in the afternoon now. I went grocery shopping bought myself a pair of yoga pants... Not that I know what to do with them LOL! Thanks to everybody who responded to my post, thankfully I have not lit up. I am still annoyed today and very fidgety and frustrated. So for now I'm going to put my life on pause and watch the only other person that is usually more annoyed than me... Judge Judy!

The following post is me needing to vent so please keep that in mind.

I've decided to try an experiment concerning how often my husband talks to me.  First off I want to say that I NEVER play games with people's emotions.  It's wrong no matter who you are or how P.O.I am. I live by the golden rule.  This is just an experiment that I feel will gauge how he feels about me. A little background here. Most of you know he rarely says two words to me let alone have a conversation..  He spends his evenings and weekends in the garage doing work for his job (salaried no overtime), watches tv or a movie, drinks beer, and putters fixing broken stuff or whatever. I can go out there and he pretty much ignores my presence. He never comes in for dinner even. When he comes in if the boys aren't using the PS4 he'll lay on the floor and play a video game.  Again, no talking.  No plans for anything like possible vacation, planning for retirement, going to a local event, or anything else.  This has been going on for years.

So I decided to conduct a little experiment.  I am simply going to count the days he doesn't talk to me beyond the "hello" when he gets home and possibly a "good night" on his way to the bedroom that I can't sleep in. I'm already on day 3 since starting this experiment.  

Oh yeah, my boys both asked me this morning how many days I had not smoked.  When I told them it was 110 they both said "you're doing great! We're SO proud of you!"  Hubby has still not said a word to me about stopping smoking.  

No replies needed for this post.  Just needed to vent before I gave into the demon.  Life happens whether or not I smoke so I choose NOPE.  Thanks all for allowing me to blow off some steam without judging me!















Two weeks

Posted by indingrl.01.06.2011 Feb 16, 2018

Just FACTS taught to ME by Joel 7 YEARS ago and reminded a bit ago.....ONE day at a time... when I was a newbee and withdrawl from NICOTINE I was having a horrible constant OBSESSIVE CRAVING FOR MY DRUG.... MY MY mind will emotion... deep in MY soul and  in MY physical body and I was thinking....I NEED to USE NICOTINE.... then I educated MYSELF..... like it was SUGGESTED to just for ME not anyone else.... I was taught that in TWO weeks NICOTINE IS OUT OF MY BODY! FACT not feelings! Its TRUE after those TWO WEEKS I was FREE and Joel also taught ME I was a recovering SMOKE-A-HOLIC now I would state....NOT ONE PUFF EVER to MYSELF when the thoughts of insanity came to visit KICK out those crazy EXCUSES TO CHOOSE TO DIE EARLY FROM MY USING NICOTINE.... FACE THE FACTS! To tell MYSELF....the truth nicotine kills people and is still killing people MY recent family loss on Feb 5,2018 my cousin chose to die using to the end... medical report stated cancer! I remember and said to MYSELF and shared with others.... But for the GRACE OF GOD GO I.... Just sharing the love in MY Lord Jesus name amen Please take what helps and let go of the rest to be HELPFUL is MY only aim so thank you for letting ME share and NOT ONE PUFF EVER FOR ME!  How about YOU? 

Happy Valentine's Day!  Quit day for me today.  As all of you know I don't have my Forever Man with me anymore, but I sure as heck can honour his memory by doing the thing that was most important to him, and quit this stinking addiction for good!  I am mad as HELL at myself that I haven't been able to keep quit.  So for myself, for my kids, grandkids and the new great grandbaby on the way, I CHOOSE to kick that NICODEMON in the butt today, and say NO more you can't have me anymore.  I'm fighting mad, I'm mad at myself, but by GOD, I will do this now, No more freaken excuses.  When I see what Ellen has been through recently with her husband I am astounded, and inspired by her strength, and she never returned to the smokes!

I will use the patch and nicotine lozenges as needed.  I will make something good out of this sad day.

Life is good if you make it that way!  I am grateful to all my EX friends here for putting up with me for so long!!

Love you all!!

I haven't been posting here like I would like to. I love to be giving an encouraging word to the new quitters here. Helping those around me here in my non-cyber world has been a priority for me now and to care for my self so that I can care for others I had to let some things go. EX has some wonderful elders here reaching out to help others and give encouraging words so I know you new quitters are in good hands.

I am very thankful to be smoke free now while living in this gray darkness. Smoking during this season of my life would made my life ever so more stressful. Smoking causes so much stress, always in need of a fix. I am so very happy to be free from that addiction.

Do understand that my quitting smoking did not cause me to be in this gray darkness. Quit smoking has allowed me to feel my sorrow and has allowed me to grief and mourn. I want to be free from this gray darkness and someday I will be.

I continue with my abstract painting to help me through this gray darkness.  I signed up for a gym membership since I no longer have outdoor chores to do other than sweeping leaves and peanut shells off the little wee patio. Truthfully though, I joined the gym so I can use the hydro massage table but I do need to take advantage of the other equipment they have because not having my outdoor chores to do is turning me into gelatin. I have a nice walking path by the apartment complex for my walk/runs. Will get this body back in shape here shortly just have to go about it differently.

My niece and her husband bought my house it closed on the 9th. A bittersweet moment. Now for the next step in my life whatever that may be.

I don't know if you can understand what my gray darkness is. It is where my inner self is living now. In gray darkness there is joy and peace that lives with in me. There is light within the darkness a light that can not be hidden by the darkness. In gray darkness I feel the sorrow,  that surrounds me, it never goes away. In my gray darkness I find myself kneeling before my God praying throughout my day giving Him praise and thanking Him for the joy and peace He gives me during this difficult period time of my life. With God I know that everything will be ok even when everything is not ok. Absolutely no smoking needed or wanted.

I miss my husband. Watching my son go through what he is going through is heartbreaking for me to watch. His tumor has grown, he has confusion episodes and his memory is not so good. He is going to try another chemo medication he thinks this might be the last one he tries. We live on in sorrow, with tears, with smiles and laughter. I live with joy and peace within me and a God that loves me. I live a smoke free life. Freedom!

Quitting smoking. I am glad I did. My nicotine monster, haven't seen that monster for very very long time. I do remember how annoying and sometimes entertaining it was. Oh, and how I remember that last cigarette I had. That was one horrible cigarette. That burning sensation and that terrible taste it left in my mouth that lasted for days. That was not a pleasant smoke and I am glad it wasn't.

Today I will celebrate my 3 year quitting smoking and my 4 years eating healthfully at the gym on the hydro massage table!.

My prayers to all that are going through a difficult season no matter what that may be. Difficult times happen to us all and my heart is with you.

That's enough writing from this non-writer before I have you just totally confused with my wandering writing thoughts.

What is your story? 

Have yourself a smoke free day and keep that body moving!


I really TRY to do this especially when I know I am being OVER SENSITIVE like in some of MY moments of this day......the FACTS....MY emotions and MY mental twisted perspective is due to dealing with life on life's terms.....MY cousin died of cancer on Feb. 5 friends husband died unexpectedly of a massive heart attack....and just for today has been one month since one of MY adult daughters has chosen to not speak to ME...and I have gained weight because I CHOSE to comfort MYSELF with food and today I made the decision to look at the FACTS....and NOT TO TAKE IT PERSONAL....MY daughter has a lot going on in her adult life and it is ok for her NOT to communicate at this time for whatever her reasons I will respect her and continue being ME and sent love texts to her anyway. FACTS....and NOT TO TAKE IT PERSONAL...death happens to all...I will continue to send love sympathy cards and pray for all involved...during ALL this personal emotional and mental thoughts of PAST and NEW thinking of MINE...I throw away the stinking thinking that is selfish and self-centered OLD thoughts that TRY to convince ME....all people....each and EVERYONE who gets up today has ME on their minds......I am laughing out loud.......I REALLY USE TO THINK THAT WAY IN THE PAST! God has healed ME in a lot of thinking to REMEMBER it is NOT about ME.... its about God and others in MY PRESENT DAY!!! today I continue to send the love notes to those I care about and let them know they are being prayed for and love by ME regardless if they respond or not and I really TRY to leave the OUTCOME IN MY DADDY GODS I confess MY OVER SENSITIVITY AND SELFISHNESS AND SELF-CENTEREDNESS and receive Gods forgiveness with NO GUILT OR CONDEMNATION in MY Lord Jesus name amen  Then like it was SUGGESTED 7 YEARS AGO.......keep on keeping for ME to NOT TAKE IT PERSONAL and just keep being the wonderful loving kind and sweet lady who keeps NOT TAKING ONE PUFF OVER ME and takes MY OWN sin inventory and remembers to thank God that he is MY judge who sets ME FREE to be all God wants ME to be......just ME.....I love spaghetti it takes wonderful with fresh baked bread...gosh its wonderful to have taste buds! The SUGGESTION to blog BEFORE I take anything personal and hurt others was a very good suggestion for ME! Thanks for letting ME share!

They are now trying 2 treatments to supercharge your own immune system.  Tumors disappear all over the body. Lung Cancer. Spreading Cancers.


Cancer ‘vaccine’ eliminates tumors in mice | News Center | Stanford Medicine 

My First Day Here

Posted by Tinkerbell777 Feb 5, 2018

I joined this site today. I have been smoking for 45 years. I was diagnosed with COPD last March when I had Bacterial Pneumonia. I have never quit smoking. I truly want to go cold turkey with no NRT. I have a date in mind. I have enjoyed reading the comments here. I will begin researching information on quitting. Thanks to all for the valuable contributions on the individual testimonies. 

The older we get the more we realize it's vital to take Extra good care of ourselves and quitting smoking should be at the top of the list of things to do for our health, family but especially for our quality of living that's why I decided to bite the bullet and stopped playing Russian Roulette with my life, my husband quit 2 and a half months before I did because of a horrible cough that scared us especially at night because at times he'd cough so hard that when he stopped I'd be scared that he wasn't breathing so I'd be ready to get up and check anyway after x rays and a ct scan we found out he has mild emphysema so whew he was already quit when he found that out and will be celebrating 4 yrs on the 25th of April. It certainly wasn't easy for him but his health was much more important than the tobacco and then it was my turn to get a scare when I had a breathing test done which showed mild copd so I wised up and threw the yuckies (cigarettes) away I wanted and still want to be around for many more years to enjoy my family and friends especially the grandchildren I want the best quality of living that I can have, whatever reason you have for quitting smoking just know there's no better gift that anyone of us will ever give ourselves which is the gift of LIFE, it's way past time to take back your life if you haven't already and if you're going through a rough patch know that we're here for you and it will get better but the only way out is through but boy oh boy it's so worth it to be Free so hang tough because there's definetly Life after Cigarettes! 

Find Your Quititude!

Posted by tlajbenn Feb 3, 2018

Image result for motivational quotes football You have the ability to quit smoking. Determine what motivates you to quit, then change your attitude and turn it into Quititude!


The dictionary defines attitude as: "a settled way of thinking or feeling about someone or something, typically one that is reflected in a person's behavior." 


Remember: You control your attitude and our attitude determines your outcome. If you have a positive attitude, you are more likely to have a positive outcome.


Practice having a positive outlook (and it does take practice to develop). If you don't know what works for you, try different things until you find something. Then keep doing it!


Use positive affirmations, meditation, mindfulness, exercise, etc,  Keep a journal and blog. We are here for you and will support you. Smile (even if you don't feel happy). It releases endorphins and serotonin and boosts your attitude. Sing and dance! Focus on the good and enjoy the little things in life. Be grateful. Do not expect life to be easy but know that you have what it takes to deal with anything that life throws at you. 


You can do this! You have the ability. You are here, so you have the motivation. Now, find your Quititude!




Having a Bipolar Day

Posted by minihorses Feb 2, 2018


The following blog post may sound like a massive pity-party or possibly the inner workings of a psychotic mind.  It's NOT a pity-party, but I cannot deny the part of me that is mentally ill nor can I deny that it rears it's ugly head at it's own will.  I have some control of it - just not today.  No replies are needed.  Just my way of trying to get through another day.


I thought I was doing so good.  I started getting my head together on many things.  It's getting a little easier every day to become a non-smoker.  I was relearning to deal with life without cigarettes and doing quite well.  The massive ups and downs of feelings I have dealt with during this time were beginning to smooth out although I still have little desire to actually live life at all.  I am NOT suicidal, I just gave up on living it a long time ago.  I've been miserable for soooo long and not able to do anything about it so I gave up trying to enjoy life.  It is to be endured until God calls me out or calls me home.  I can't change anything, besides my quit, to have a life I'd like. I will not allow myself to be a self-serving idiot and go back to smoking simply because I can't seem to get my sh*t together.  It  wasn't together when I smoked so going back won't change a damn thing.  At least I've learned that much!  The last few days have been emotionally rough.  I wanted to kill my two sons the other day for nasty remarks that left me feeling like scum.  I almost threw my computer across the room at the eldest.  I have caged rat syndrome as well.  In the last 3 weeks I've been out of the house maybe 4 times, maybe. That definitely doesn't help I know but I've spent the last 3 1/2 years pretty much confined to my little living room so it's nothing new.   My plan for now is drugging myself enough to sleep through as much of the rest of the day and evening as possible.  Please don't feel like anything needs to be replied to.  I'm only crazy, not suicidal and not in danger of smoking.  Just a lunatic that needed to write since I can't scream and I've got no one else to talk to about it.  

Smoke free muscles

Posted by Lisaml Feb 1, 2018

I've always exercised rigorously. I LOVE rpm (spin) class, body pump... zumba. 


My (flawed) thinking was this; "ok I love to smoke, so I will counteract the negative effects of smoking with the positive effects of exercise". Right? Wrong......


Well today my positive thought is this; during spin class this morning, I was not worried about breathing, coughing, huffing, puffing etc, and I kept turning that resistance up higher. I was AMAZED at how much stronger my lungs have gotten in 27 smoke free days. I was energetic, but could WORK so much harder, that I'm gonna have Tina Turner legs before you know it;-)  



smoking has held me back in many many ways for so long, I'm finding new freedoms every day!;-) 

Cheers! ❤️

My First Month of Madness

Posted by jps Feb 1, 2018

I found and joined this site a few of days after I had started my quit date.  It was the only one where I felt comfortable with and I wanted to do things properly and add my own diary of discomfort to and hope it may be of help to others but also to find and get some help for myself.

Sadly for me I already felt behind the curve ball and feel like I have been playing catch up ever since trying to get my awful word document diary put up onto this site so that everyone could see what I have been going through and maybe give me some pointers.

If anything I suppose whoever reads this blog can see despite some of the issues and experiences I have been going through.

I never thought I could have gotten this far without a cigarette !!

( I am now excited as just discovered the Save as Draft Function at the bottom of this page!)

Aaargh!!1 Pressed the button lost the post got it back couldn't continue then found the edit button and now back. Now here's a place that needs a


Now scared to press the button again before I finish.

To anyone who needs help and wants to quit I just want to say I am one of the worst. I have failed many times.I never smoked before my 28th birthday.


The last time I quit I got DOUBLE Pneumonia and was put into a coma and then I was abandoned by my doctor whilst waiting for a specific medication and in turn I started smoking again. So for me making it this far is a minor miracle and so if I can do this then I am happy to help others make it too.

Prior to starting and planning my quit date I read Allan Carr's book Sept 2017 and found it helpful with my mind set. I also armed myself with Lozenges,Ecigs, Mouth Spray, Mantra's a few leftover champix I found (thankfully not used and now in bin) preferred Zytac anyway when i did quit pre Pneumonia.


So without further a do here is my first month of hell and any help or advice is more than welcome and thank you to anyone who took the time to read my insignificant offerings.

Monday 1st January 2018 Midnight finished my last cigarette and said my goodbyes with a sip of whiskey.


Tuesday 2nd January 2018 Day one was hell felt very sick bad stomach and slept quite a bit. Everything seemed quite a fog for a while got up late afternoon and managed to keep going not easy but managed.


Wednesday 3rd January 2018 Better than day 1 but still feeling quite unwell and incoherent. Mouth a bit tingly but my wrists oh my giddy aunt they feel on fire. I must add at this point that a couple of years ago I was diagnosed with early onset arthritis in my wrists and although I take supplements and normally keep my hands busy I never expected this!!


Thursday 4th January 2018 felt better and more upbeat and managed to do some work today but did get tired a bit later Wrists still achy is this a blood rush through my vains???


Friday 5th January 2018 Found this website and a couple of others but this seems to be very good.


Saturday 6th January 2018 Read some more from the websites that  were found yesterday and decided to Commit my reasons for quitting to paper(pc) to help me reinforce why I am quitting as getting hard to think straight at times.


Sunday 7th January 2018 Very bad weather had some property damage


Monday 8th January 2018 Weather still bad outside but did manage a whole days work


Tuesday 9th January 2018 Surprised that a week has gone by Had to try and fix some of the roof damage before the rain was due to arrive but felt sick and disorientated for the first couple of hours of the morning and didn’t feel well enough to go up a 30 foot ladder straight away as was worried about my balance. Did go up later managed a mini repair got disheartened when I saw the rest of the damage that going to need fixing as already have more than enough to do!!!


Wednesday 10th January 2018 Had a nice day walking along a new coastal path was doing ok till about 11 pm when the food monster took over and I ate a lot of snacky stuff including biscuits, cheese, and chocolate.


Was told that week one was called Hell of a Week and Week 2 is called Heck of a Week feels like that’s vice versa for me as this week feels worse


Thursday 11th January 2018 Had a look round the sales which were rubbish. Not a good day as above got the late night munchies and ate like a pig. Had a 2mg Nicotine Lozenge managed half then saved the rest in case needed later.


Friday 12th January 2018


Midnight Realised I am not used to putting myself first or taking the time to manage my own welfare. Must do Better as got angry with others.


Midday put into a stressful situation had no time to prep myself started hyperventilating then a massive coughing fit and a nose bleed over a 45 minute period. Wore me out had to go and lie down my body temp went very cold took ages to warm fell asleep for 3 hours.


Felt better later and a lot calmer.


Saturday 13th January 2018 Early hours 2 am the cat knocked over a compendium box and all the bits went everywhere waking the whole house felt like my chest heart area was having pins and needles felt weird?? Maybe just shock and surprise even though I was up at the time.


Sunday 14th January 2018


Nice walk today and had a first subconscious memory of smoking where I would normally stop for a break.


Monday 15th January 2018


Good day did a fair bit of work, walked the dog slept ok for a change.


Tuesday 16th felt quite shocked that I had come so far without the urge to smoke a cigarette.


Weds 17th worked all day went ok had a bit of a pig out and finished my lozenge not happy as worried about getting addicted to NRT’s???


Thurs 18th worked ok fell like i am getting back into a routine but still a long way to go. Midnight got a bit jittery had the rest of lozenge

Friday19th shopping and went to see friends as having probs with pc

Sat 20th Painted walls weather bad

Sun 21st Worked painting


Mon 22nd Worked all day painted ceiling but

Got some bad news can’t sustain Business and pay tax. Had a suck of ecig 6 puffs didn’t enjoy but made me run to the loo!!!

Tues 23rd ill all day did nothing. Got up later

Weds 24th nice walk in afternoon and relaxing sort of day did some business research

Thurs 25th back on the plastering but lost my temper big time haven’t been that bad in years it upset me a lot when I gave it some thought later didn’t manage to get out or go and do stuff like order heating oil


No rain all day WOW!! Managed to pump my car tyres and move it


Fri 26th January went to diy shop in morning then did normal shopping then a bit more diy and called tony for a chat. Hope to get my mobile phone working Laptop went down and so did Lesley's smartphone due to me turning it off?? Also laptop cooling fan not working now fixed. Quiet night finished Vikings.

Looking forward to tomorrow and some me time to have a good think.


Sat 27th January Did some diy again this morning but light not good. Can’t agree on what to do tomorrow. Looking to walk and clear my head.


Took dog with me but she was distracting me from thinking feeling a bit hyper and people everywhere. So much for a quiet walk. Blame the dry weather as first one for a month now. Went back home New phone not working!! Went for a nap. Did some more DIY watched a bit of tv and now  feeling hyper again is this too much caffeine???. Sugar sick again and I stood in it as its right on doormat!! Cleaned slipper other cat came in and started causing chaos so had to put him out. Now trying to calm myself down by writing this. Cleaned my teeth. Had another coffee may have to rethink coffee.


Sun 28th nice walk but Lesley got into a bad mood as the walk progressed and didn’t know why. Gave her some info on Dopamine which seemed to help a lot.


Mon 29th DIY went wrong nothing going to plan


Tues 30th January 2018 Bad day again and lost my temper and walked out of a shop I feel like I am losing control and I don’t understand why.  this was around 2pm today. Now around 10.30 feeling a bit despondent and just really feel like hiding in a corner somewhere and never come out again.


Weds 31st jan 2018 Took pets to vets for annual checks and jabs all good. Got back home


Struggling to get phone unlocked still feeling upset about yesterday and suffering with mouth/gum sore had a discussion about it. Felt a little better but realised I need to get all this on the ex site asap as I need more help.


Thurs 1st Feb


Trying to get started on ex site using the getting started guide but finding a little confusing had to walk away for a minute or 2 as felt overwhelmed and couldn’t see or understand the layout. Now 10 mins later think I spotted a starting point so here goes!!!

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