I’ve had a few unscheduled days off and as such have been hanging around here for a bit. After being away for a while, there's one thing that always hits me every time I come back and that is the incredible determination that is felt here.
It’s such a process to quit smoking. First, we have to grapple with the fear of quitting before we can even get started. Then after that comes the preparation time, a time filled with discovery and emotions that we never really knew we had.
And then on that first day, we discover the determination we’ve developed even as we wonder if it will be enough to help us through. I know my mind was a whirlwind the first days of my quit. I didn’t notice it at first, but I suddenly realized that I was conversing with myself. That there was a constant argument going on in my mind about what I was doing. If I really wanted to be doing it. That maybe just one puff will help me through.
The addict within was strong within my being at first. I saw it as one I could direct my unfocused anger toward. As a thing that I knew I would eventually have to train and that just like any screaming child, it takes time and patience to calm it.
Slowly, day by day I pulled the tentacles of addiction from my being. It was almost imperceptible at first but as I pulled more and more of them out I began to look ahead to a time when I would be once again in charge of my own life, rather than letting a deadly plant dictate to me what my life will be like. How my time would be spent, and how I would plan my day.
And ever so slowly, the freedom comes more into focus. As the internal argument begins to subside, and the cloud of addiction is lifted from our minds we actually have time to focus on all of the positive things we’re doing. Our minds slowly begin to see a glimmer of hope that what started as a nail biting and downright scary experience is becoming something wonderful and amazing!
We begin to believe that we’re actually going to see the other side of this horribly trying time. We begin to believe that there actually IS an end to this seemingly endless ordeal. When that happened to me, I grasped that glimmer and watched it turn into a fantastic quit!
Quitting is like a transformation from being enslaved to learning there’s something better. Freedom never comes easy but it’s always worth fighting for. Never give up on yourself and soon your world will be transformed into one of health, and freedom and a kind of pride that can only come from one who knows slavery and not only chooses, but fights for freedom rather than accepting the alternative!
ONWARD TO FREEDOM!!!