For the last couple of weeks, I’ve been dealing with some mind chatter urging me to smoke. It’s not an oral thing. It’s not about hand to mouth movement. It’s a matter of fact type of statement I’m hearing; “Why don’t you go on and have a smoke? You’ll feel normal” or “Why don’t you have a smoke so things will go back to normal and you’ll know what to do?”
I had problems motivating myself to “do things” while I was smoking. I know my normal isn’t something I really want to return to. I want a new normal. I want to get up off the couch and do things. I want more life in my life. I know smoking isn’t going to help me create the life I’ve been telling myself I want and can have “If I would just stop smoking.”
I am 100+ days into my quit and I’m battling this mind chatter. I’ve been an ex-smoker 0.7% of the amount of time I smoked. I figure I have to give my body and brain a chance to recognize I’m no longer smoking.
I was prepared for the discomfort in the initial days of my quit. I wasn’t prepared for this. The last time I stopped, it was the mind chatter I couldn’t handle and eventually gave into. Sometimes distraction works. There are many things I need to tend to. Being active and engaged is an issue I had before I stopped smoking. I’m wondering if this mind chatter is a gift; If I need to keep busy in order to stop the chatter then I just might become the active engaged person I say I want to be. It doesn’t matter how I get there as long as I arrive safe and sound. I’ve taken advantage of the unseasonably warm weather. I started walking. I’m averaging about 1.5 miles a day. It’s what goes on when I’m home that I really need to address.
When does it subside? Does it ever subside? Is mind chatter the ex-smokers kryptonite?