Started Again

Blog Post created by hattonc on Aug 9, 2017

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I had over 3 months free from smoking an I have managed to pick this horrible habit all over agsin .. I quit for 2 years . Than started agsin last February '16. Then quit agsin this past may.. I was doin so well .. even exercising... there have been major changes in my life an I'm not adjusting well.. I lost my mother in February.. also been through a very stressful relationship that is ending .. I'm living by myself for the first time.. I could go on an on ... I'm not making excuses all I know is I was a nervous smoker an I woukd always turn to a cigarette.. but honestly now when I smoke they make me sick.. why am I doin this to myself? I hate it an I don't want to do it ! I wish there were meetings locally to attend for smokers like they do for alcoholics and drug addictions.. this really is a horrible addiction.. I want to quit an stay quit .., it's really depressing me....

Outcomes

11 Comments

Thomas3.20.2010 Aug 9, 2017 7:47 AM
I'm so glad to see you here! I'm very sorry to hear that you are going on hard times! My sincerest Condolences on the loss of your Mother! Never Ever Give up - we will never give up on you!
"why am I doin this to myself?" - because you and I are Addicts and we have to live by the Law of Addiction:
"Administration of a drug to an addict will cause re-establishment of chemical dependence upon the addictive substance."
"I was a nervous smoker an I woukd always turn to a cigarette." "it's really depressing me...."
Nicotine Addiction makes depression and anxiety worse! That relief we get from Nicotine is simply the rush that lasts until we put out the Sickerette - immediately we become even more stressed and feel the compulsion for yet another!
Fact: People who have quit smoking are happier, feel less stress, less depression, less anxiety!
You must convince yourself that smoking does absolutely nothing for your problems - not one darn thing!
Smoking solves nothing and you already know - it makes Life and the Quality of Life so much worse!
100% Commitment - No Matter What! You CAN do this!
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rollercoaster831 Aug 9, 2017 8:51 AM
Welcome!
Since you mentioned meetings, I will refer you to NicA which is Nicotine Anonymous. You can look up their website and you can find if there is a meeting in your area. If there is not one in your area, they do have web meetings and phone meetings. That is at least a start. You can get some free starter material as well and you may be able to start a meeting up in your area.
I did find listening to the Elders on this site to be very helpful. They have a lot of good information. Please check out the section on this site called Relapse Prevention and The Tragedy of Relapse. Excellent information here.
Keep this community close to you now. You may find it very helpful. You can do this and you took a great first step in posting here.
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Youngatheart.7.4.12 Aug 9, 2017 8:57 AM
Welcome back to our community!

To begin, I recommend you think back to what actually caused you to make the decision to smoke during your last quit attempts. Think about the situation/emotion that sent you back and make a plan AHEAD of TIME what you will do differently this time....because you know life is always going to happen. Be prepared for its valleys! It's also important for you to understand that this is not a habit, but an addiction - and that is why there will never be "just one."

The most important thing you can do right now is to educate yourself on what nicotine does to your body and mind. To that end, I highly recommend Allen Carr's “The Easy Way to Stop Smoking.” This is an easy and entertaining read. Here is a link to a free PDF version of it:

http://media.wix.com/ugd/74fa87_2010cc5496521431188f905b7234a829.pdf

You should also read the posts here and perhaps go to the pages of folks who you think might be helpful. You might visit whyquit.com, quitsmokingonline.com and livewell.com for the good information contained there. @https://excommunity.becomeanex.org/groups/best-of-ex has lots of blogs written by members of this site with their experiences and guidance. You should also do the tracking and separation exercises suggested in My Quit Plan http://www.becomeanex.org/my-quit-plan.php

After you have completed the recommended reading, it will be time to make an informed choice of the quit aid, if any, you will use. If you go that route, I personally recommend the aids that don't let the addict control the dose such as the available prescription drugs or the patch. If used properly, gum, lozenges and inhalers are fine, but they need to be used only as a last resort. I have seen folks become addicted to them if they substitute them for every cigarette they used to smoke - just trading one addiction for another. I do not recommend the e-cigarette for three reasons: 1) the vapor has been compared to the polluted air in Bejing on a bad day, 2) they just provide another nicotine delivery system while continuing the hand to mouth smoking motion, and 3) the batteries can spontaneously catch on fire. . But – any method that you think will work well for you will be best for you.

The idea is to change up your routines so the smoking associations are reduced. Drink your coffee with your OTHER hand. If you always had that first smoke with your coffee, try putting your tennies on right out of bed, going for a quick walk, then taking your shower and THEN your coffee! Rearrange the furniture in the areas you used to smoke so the view is different. Buy your gas at a different station. Take a different route to work. Take a quick walk at break time where the smokers AREN'T.

You need to distract yourself through any craves. You can take a bite out of a lemon (yup - rind and all), put your head in the freezer and take a deep breath of cold air, do a few jumping jacks, go for a brisk walk or march in place, play a computer game. Don't let that smoking thought rattle around in your brain unchallenged. Sometimes you need to quit a minute or an hour at a time. You will need to be disciplined in the early days to distract yourself when a crave hits. Get busy! Here is a link to a list of things to do instead of smoke if you need some fresh ideas:

https://excommunity.becomeanex.org/blogs/Youngatheart.7.4.12-blog/2013/02/25/100-things-to-do-instead-of-smoke

The conversation in your head in response to the "I want a cigarette" thought needs to be, "Well, since I have decided not to do that anymore, what shall I do instead for the three minutes this crave will last?" Then DO it. You will need to put some effort into this in the early days, but it gets easier and easier to do.

Stay close to us here and ask questions when you have them and for support when you need it. We will be with you every step of the way!

Nancy
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constanceclum Aug 9, 2017 10:40 AM
Welcome and you will never have to feel alone while using this site. We are all here for you.
Connie
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JACKIE1-25-15 Aug 9, 2017 12:01 PM
Keep it simple. First commit that no matter what is happening in your life the you will NOPE (not one puff ever)
Second, find ways to keep the commitment. Make friends on the site, get a few quit buddies. Read Study Blog. Realize it is better not to do this alone. We are here to support you. Understand the addiction to nicotine. Check out www.whyquit.com read My Journey from Freedom of Nicotine and Nicotine 101. Stay close to the site. This is a challenge but it is quite doable.
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Angie-Lah Aug 9, 2017 2:57 PM
I'm so sorry on the loss of your mother. In my 33 years, I've experienced no worse pain than the loss of a parent. You are stronger than your addiction, you just have to stop giving yourself permission. As soon as you do, you've undermined your own self confidence and you'll turn back to it every time. I wasn't aware of the NicA that was mentioned above, I treated this site very much like an AA meeting the first few months of my quit. There's nearly always someone online, ready and willing to offer advice. And there are a ton of resources here that you can read that will help you keep your quit too. I often found myself link clinking for hours before I realized the desire to smoke had completely passed. Know that you are stronger than any nicotine could ever be, and when you get through the withdrawal this time, remember how bad it is. Journal it. Write down what you experience. And then when you start to feel tempted, go back and read what you wrote. Read it again. Read it again. You get the gist by now I'm sure. Let yourself get through those first couple of weeks and then protect that quit with everything you have. You can do this.
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elvan Aug 9, 2017 3:00 PM
Welcome back, so nice to see you here again. You have lots of great advice already, we are here, let us know if you need anything.
Ellen
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maryfreecig Aug 9, 2017 4:49 PM
Make a plan, keep participating and make the commitment to stick with support well past a year. Keep sharing your ups and downs. It takes a while to let go of addiction and temptation--support can help you with this. My two cents worth and only that.
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hattonc Aug 9, 2017 4:52 PM
Thank you to everyone that took the time to reply to me.. I want to begin this journey agsin but I need more support now than ever before..
1 person found this helpful
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- elvan @ hattonc on Aug 10, 2017 4:40 PM
  Do stay close to the site. I came here every morning and every evening to read blogs, to comment, to blog, to LEARN. Seeing how others are doing and how they are handling things in their lives. It really does help and when you feel like you are about to fall apart...the glue is HERE.
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Showiestodin Aug 10, 2017 6:27 PM
It is difficult to quit and to stay quit but not impossible. Stand strong. Stay true to you. Best of luck.
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Started Again

Outcomes

"Administration of a drug to an addict will cause re-establishment of chemical dependence upon the addictive substance."

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