They implanted a chip in my esophagus and gave me buttons to push whenever I change activities or have heartburn, belching (I don't belch) or regurgitato-nation.
How is one coming out of anesthesia supposed to remember and follow verbal instructions? Not only that, I am supposed to write down every movement, every time I eat, take medication, or recline on paper charts. So do I need a clipboard for the next 5 days? :-(
It starts beeping if I get more than 3 feet from it.
The coup de gras is I have to spend 2 hours hand delivering it back to the hospital the middle of next week.
Ok I've punched the meal button and written coffee with cream on the chart.
Can I live now?