ShawnP

In the mind of an addict

Blog Post created by ShawnP on May 6, 2017

I must confess. I smoked!!! That whole day I was feeling nervous anxious. Everything was annoying me. It's been so busy lately and the stress was high. I couldn't wait for Virginia beach to come soon enough for me to get some needed relaxation. I stepped outside last night for some air and  a group of my co workers were outside and they all lit up. The one man asked me if i smoke and i said no that i quit 5 yrs ago. He said, "you don't smoke? oh come on, one won't hurt you". Before I could even think, i accepted the cigarette that he handed me and smoked it!!! After work, I ended up stopping at the gas station and buying a pack. After smoking 2 more, i realized what i had done. I LOST MY PRECIOUS 5 YEARS! I feel so horrible. I know that i have let down all of you, especially myself. After all those years of preaching, to call upon someone or the site to help you through a craving, i didn't! I didn't even have one, i just did it without thinking! A force of habit from the years that i smoked. When i woke up, i realized it was just a dream, a smokemare and i thanked God that it really didn't happen. It goes to show you how this addiction can have a hold on you, when you least expect it. There are no excuses to losing a quit. Not one. We must always be vigilant in our quits. 

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