I used to be a happy quitter; during months 2-4 or 5 I was so filled with the joy of freedom that no crave was strong enough to shake my resolve. Quite the opposite: I was happy to get the crave, I called it my proof I am a non-smoker.
Then life brought my share of suffering: being lost for many months, not knowing what was going on in my body, taking many totally un-necessary tests, and for which I have payment plans stretching for months ahead, to eventually being diagnosed with Hashimoto’s (Hypothyroidism). One would think “thank God, we have a diagnosis, we have drugs to treat it, we are good”. Well, not so fast! Yes, I am feeling way better than I did in January before the diagnosis, however, my energy never came back. I still can’t walk, get up in the morning and sit on the edge of my bed for long minutes before I am even able to go make a cup of coffee.
For the last week, my lower back pain came back too; almost like my body is having a pain party at my expense; the week passed in a haze, I am working, fixing dinner, taking pain killers so I can function somehow, doing stretching exercises, massaging the spastic muscles in my back, I have yet to wake up feeling relieved.
And I can’t stop but remember, in my past life, I’d step out on the patio, counting my miseries, and having a couple, or 3 or 4 cigarettes, and for that short time(15-20 minutes), all pains and suffering were forgotten.
Do you know I find myself making the choice not too smoke way too many times/day lately?
But I know well, there are so many of us out there, going through heavier stuff than mine, dealing with more pain and suffering than mine, and making the right choice every day. They are too many to list here, but they are my guiding mentors. If nothing else, but my respect for them is helping me making the right choice every hour of every day.
Thank you for being here for me every day, thank you for your answers to people in need of guidance. The same answers are helping all of us, newbies or elders!
So here is the answer to my own question: how do we stay EX? We come here every day, read and understand what it takes, and get inspired by our peers, and make the right choice, every day, every hour of every day!
