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THINK what YOUR thinking about - STAYING a non smoker and SHARING with other's - out of love - to HELP the next suffering NICOTINE ADDICT -  to hear YOUR experience - what NEW MINDSET - do YOU live and offer to those who have NO HOPE -  it was SUGGESTED to ME - THINK what YOUR thinking about - what NEW ideas - what NEW hope  - what NEW habit -  is setting YOUR heart FREE - from OLD habits - SUGGESTED by other's to ME -  biting into a lemon when a craving HITS - also SUGGESTED - for ME to get out of MY self and to come here and blog BEFORE -  I suck on NICOTINE DEATH STICKS over ME - thanks for letting ME SHARE - please THINK what YOUR thinking about - ask YOUR self questions - SUGGESTED - MY self honesty deep in MY heart - is this HELPING ME to grow and keep growing - what am I THINKING about - living NICOTINE FREE OR is MY pride growing in seeds of - let someone else blog - I am to busy - I use to need to blog - NOW -  I don't need to BLOG to HELP newbies - let someone else - THINK what YOUR thinking about




My - I wake up and thank MY God for breathing HIS life in me and I think - it is so wonderful to be NICOTINE FREE - I get up - prayer - Bible study - shower - get dressed - eat breakfast - clean house - do laundry - crochet - fix jigsaw puzzles - eat lunch - go for walks - go for ride to look at all the different color greens in nature - go food shopping - deal with MY emotions - drawing pictures - text - blog BEFORE I take that first puff - I ACCEPT and deal with MY ma in hospice 3 weeks and dealing with ALL the emotionally charged personalities of 8 sister's and 1 brother - alcohol escapism and many addictions running wild during this time of ma's suffering YET I am still so glad I ain't SUCKING ON DEATH STICKS to cope with ME and MY issues - it is wonderful to be NICOTINE FREE  - I am responsible today for ALL of ME not ANYONE else - I SHARE with MY husband remember when I smoked like a chimney - he says yes - I SHARE - I am so glad I don't smoke any more - THANK you Sootie for SHARING the fake cv19 report YOUR aunt's friend received - I AIN'T SMOKING over it - MY husband and I are so GRATEFUL to God for letting us be survivor's of cv19  - it is REAL and a very deathly germ - WE are God's MIRACLES - ONLY by his grace in OUR Lord Jesus name amen- slogans that work for ME - NeverTakeAnotherPuffEver- thanks for letting ME share


No matter where we are in our quits whether it's day ONE or day three thousand and ONE ~ N.O.P.E ~ Not One Puff Ever and Vigilance N.M.W ~ No Matter What ~ is key to remaining Smokefree ~ H.A.L.T ~ Hungry Angry Lonely Tired ~ may be an A.A. slogan BUT is vitally important in all areas of our lives and definetly important in our quits, I was sipping on my second cup of coffee this morning getting ready to do this post and wondering what to write when the phone rang and I thought right out of the blue that I wanted to light up a Cigarette!!!!! Wow where'd that come from???? I don't know who came up with N.E.F ~ Never Ever Forget ~ BUT it's one I really like because there's no reason any of us has to ever go back to that horrid DAY ONE.  Like all of us there's lots going on PLUS I'm not sleeping well & good old Arthur (arthritis) has been hanging around he's been nasty lol which has allowed that stupid thought to creep in WHEW BUT thankfully I know better, We all know better PLUS relapsing isn't an option anymore because we don't do that anymore right!!!! 

Thomas asked for prayers please - he is in hospital and praying it is NOT COVID19 -thank you everyone Dear Father God I come in MY Lord Jesus name and surrender MY beloved brother Thomas to YOU in faith and love amen


New Hobbies 

Posted by indingrl.01.06.2011 Jul 4, 2020

New hobbies replacing MY old habit of sucking on DEATH - I was given a gift from MY sister Pat - a course to learn calligraphy along time ago  - when I first was given this NEW NON SMOKER life style - I was so bored - I wanted to smoke - that's what I use to do - smoke and smoke and smoke - I came here and asked - what do YOU do now that YOU don't smoke - SUGGESTIONS - learn NEW hobbies to replace OLD habit of SUCKING on DEATH STICKS - I learned how to crochet - I learned how to knit - I CHOSE to crochet - I learn sewing on a machine quilting - I learned hand sewn quilting - I CHOSE hand sewn quilts - I learn to draw with pen and ink and pencil - I CHOSE pencil drawing -  NOW I was asked by MY daughter Courtney - a MONTH ago  - to draw in NATIVE American language -  the names for 1st born daughter and first born son -  Whapton Sioux language is MY tongue - so I started to practice and sent her the beginnings of MY ideas - I am NOT bored anymore because I took the SUGGESTIONS given to ME here - get a new hobby  - just SHARING - please search for YOUR new ideas of art OR whatever interests YOU to replace OLD habits - YOUR worth it - thanks for letting ME SHARE         please know just ideas - doodles -  these are MY thinking ideas - no worries - I will post finished project


Closed fireworks

Posted by indingrl.01.06.2011 Jul 4, 2020

In MY area NO parade NO fireworks - masks mandatory - still very GRATEFUL for Y'ALL here STAYING NON SMOKERS no matter what life on life terms throws In OUR individual paths - TODAY MY husband and I are making it a movie day HOPE Y'ALL have a RELAXING day also



Posted by indingrl.01.06.2011 Jul 3, 2020

I read TONS of blogs here on this site about people SHARING - life is great being a NON SMOKER - finally after 9 YEARS - here is MY testimony of MY lovely day TODAY - MY husband and I went to the park to grill at 930am and then at 2pm to the beach - it really is wonderful to live as a NON SMOKER life style - oh my day was lovely ONLY by God's grace for me



Posted by indingrl.01.06.2011 Jul 3, 2020

WOW !!!!!!  I couldn't belive that I would drink alcohol after living 33 YEARS SOBER - ONLY by God's grace for ME - then FEAR set in - also to see MYSELF -  SMOKING too - WOW!!!!! after 9 years living as a NON SMOKER - day by day ONLY by God's grace - I couldn't believe it - how easy it was to drink DEATH and suck on DEATH - Did I REALLY do it - throw it all away??????  I was sitting at this club house - I could see other's snorting DEATH - I was just about to and BAM......... i woke UP!!!!!! SMOKEMARES happen to EVERYONE - I was TAUGHT to just SHARE it - I heard other's with YEARS of NICOTINE FREEDOM share - Take heed ELDERS - you too are just a PUFF away from SUCKING ON DEATH - that's what I heard old timers say a long long long time ago in MY EARLY baby stage of NO NICOTINE EVER - 1st time here and obeying the elders and educating MYSELF - learning and growing in -  MY NEW way of thinking - with a NEW MINDSET -  it won't happen to ME - the rattle snake is SUBTLE and his bite is DEADLY - SUBTLE seeds are dropped with sly and crafty feelings -  I am not paying attention - by being a DOING human - giving and DOING - DOING the right thing and adding - MORE DOING - having NO spiritual balance in ME  - the thought comes into MY FEELING THINKING and MY HEART like ....... Hmmmmm - I remember smoking in the beginning ...... MY ma is dying....... MY ma called ME two days ago to chit chat....... she ain't sick..... This cv19 is NEVER going away ...... Masks for the rest of MY life will be worn...... NO authority to police officer's is insanity..... All these SUBTLE thoughts come into MY NEW mind - SUBTLE seeds dropping in unnoticed  - I am HELPING the next NICOTINE ADDICT- I am blogging to HELP  - I am SHARING and praying for other's - I am reading and studying the Word of God  - NEVER - taking a break for MY spiritual refill - NEVER having fun - I gotta DO - GO - - I am bone dry inside - SUBTLE - the rattlesnake is slithering closer to ME and I don't notice - I am blessed by MY Daddy God with a SMOKE mare - it is so REAL ..... I am filled with ALL the emotions and questions - did I drink and smoke - when MY ma dies will I let the rattlesnake bite ME - am I cocky in MY heart to REALLY BELIEVE -  it can't happen to ME - I am quickly asking MY God for HELP - have I let pride have it's way in ME because MY MIND is set on DOING - keep busy - so I won't think about MY ma dying ..... keep busying then she won't die - just pretend the world is ok and NOT a godless society - keep busy - just smoke and die - MY thoughts come and go - SUBTLE - thoughts of WHO cares the world is whack-a-do - I am going to heaven anyway - WHY NOT just smoke and drink - I brush these SUBTLE thoughts off as just passing through MY mind - then a -  SMOKE MARE HITS - take heeding - I ask MY Holy Spirit to HELP ME blog - this SUBTLE rattlesnake that has NOT bitten ME - NOT YET - ONLY by God's grace - I am still NICOTINE FREE 3466 DAYS TODAY and 33 YEARS SOBER since May 22, 1987 - WHAT A RELIEF - thanking God and thank ALL of YOU for HELPING ME - just for TODAY - ONLY by God's grace -  TOGETHER - WE - OUR - US - these FACTS - keep ME from being bitten by MY REALITY of TODAY - MY ma is in hospice and many other's have had experience of their MA dying too - I am NOT unique or alone in MY ma dying - other's here have saved MY day by SHARING with ME how THEIR ma died  - I am a RECOVERING NICOTINE ADDICT - ONE MOMENT -  at a time with many SUBTLE seed thoughts -  I take for granted and they grow among MY NEW thoughts - take care and pull out the weeds of MY SUBTLE thoughts- rattlesnake thoughts of....... Can't happen to ME  - already bitten and don't even know it......  SMOKEMARES ARE REAL! NO need to panic just SHARE in a blog when it HAPPENS - don't let YOUR SUBTLE seed thoughts just happen by brushing it OFF the SUBTLER seed - YOU FEEL and THINK right NOW of ME SHARING  - aahhhh she's crazy -  it won't HAPPEN TO ME - then BAM!!!  YOUR BLOG is -  I smoked - I had 2 puffs - I had to vape NICOTINE - I had to smoke NICOTINE -  I am starting over again - I only took a PUFF - YOUR SUBTLE seeds grown by YOU - WARNING SUBTLE strikes everyone -  thanks for letting ME share

Someone said that on a previous thread and it really resonated with me. It’s true of smoking...and everything else!


Love hugs ❤️

Posted by indingrl.01.06.2011 Jun 30, 2020

 Ward and I sent my ma wild orchids - they arrived to ma today - 1-800-flowers is the best service and  fast delivery too - just sharing -  these are another one of my ma fav flowers to enjoy now - so beautiful- YAHOOOOOO big bear hug in flowers to mama - who is in hospice stage called rallying - end of life- I ain't smoking to cope with my reality - in my Lord Jesus name amen


Thank You!

Posted by Majin Jun 29, 2020

I made it though Hell week and am feeling very confident that I can do this.

Thanks you all for your support, I may have slipped up were it not for you!

The loudest voice in my head now is - “see, you can stop anytime, so one won’t kill you”.

I am very familiar with that voice, so I pop a lozenge every time I hear it.

Please I am talking about ME not anyone else - please take what HELPS and let go of the rest - to be HELPFUL is MY only aim - thank you  TODAY I take MY OWN inventory - when I am FEELING thinking - ONLY by God's grace -  I recognize MY PROBLEM - it is ME - DOING MY life TODAY as a joyful FREE from NICOTINE RECOVERING ADDICT - I do NOT cope with MY ma dying slowly from a worn out body which is diseased with deep deteriorating bones - deep PAIN which cannot be described -  IF it ain't YOU suffering from rheumatoid arthritis - no words will make you understand her deep bone pain on drugs she hit her leg hard so the PAIN would cease - I was taking care of her that week to give Jackie a break and it was awful watching and NOT being able to take ma PAIN and SUFFERING - I cried and prayed  - DOING life in MY reality reminds ME - in MY RECOVERY when I was a BABY in NO MAN'S land -  which I complained and cried and moaned going through NOT being able to SUCK ON MY DEATH STICKS - I REALLY thought I would NEVER get over the withdrawals of CRAVING NICOTINE and MY obsession of hating those who were smoking and looking like THEY were so together doing their life - I was young in RECOVERY from reaching for MY DEATH STICKS - OH MY the frenzy I would go through to get MY DRUG - in the end of MY NICOTINE ADDICTION -  I was ALWAYS FEELING thinking - I had it worst then ALL other smokers because - I am better than ALL other smokers and I am the one WHO is SUFFERING worse then ALL other's who QUIT SUCKING on DEATH - I really believed back in NO MAN'S LAND - that I was the ONE who suffered the MOST because - well after all -  it was ME - the great one - ONLY by God's grace -  am I able to ACCEPT God's will for ME to admit - if it wasn't for Y'ALL being MY examples -  to teach ME and to show ME how to DO life on life's terms - I learned from Y'ALL - to live by DOING MY life in MOMENT living each DAY - I am doing a 3 DAY fast and prayer for MY sister Jackie - she had been OUR ma caregiver since ma quit driving at age 75 - ma is 88 and in hospice since June 19 - 2020 - fyi - that is Jackie bday she just turned 59 - fyi - this love caring for ma -  has been shared by ALL family members - at one time or another - giving to Jackie in love so she can go on vacations and breaks during this time - MY 3 DAY prayer fast is for Jackie to be HEALED by OUR Lord Jesus in ALL areas HE knows about Jackie - NOT MY will - HIS will be done in her heart in MY Lord Jesus name amen - just yesterday I noticed tons of cigarette butts on the ground  in front of the steps to MY apartment and this man and woman smoking in their cars at stop lights - I noticed the cig butts on the ground where my daughter went to smoke on her break for lunch - so in DOING this life with 8 sisters and 1 brother ALL adult children who lived in alcoholism growing up with many evils - abuse with variety - and NOW this present moment - the personalities - the emotional upheavals - the memories - I wanted to escape so bad yesterday - I went to dairy queen and ordered a large Blizzard - strawberry cheese cake and ate it ALL - DOING life has its MOMENTS - where I am at that jumping off place - use NICOTINE or ...........  I choose ice cream ......   I know SUCKING on a DEATH STICKS is NOT going to change the FACT - not MY feelings - that I will CHOOSE a healthier solution -  NEXT time - like biting a LEMON - it worked in MY NO MAN LAND'S DAY BEFORE- doing LIFE moments with Y'ALL is BLOGGING about MY self HONESTY and TRUTH - I chose ice cream - NOT NICOTINE - and for ME - I am PRAISING and THANKING MY Daddy God for this next 12 hours in this day only to live NICOTINE FREE and rejoicing in MY Lord Jesus VICTORY - by my mighty Holy Spirit teaching ME to follow apostle Paul example - HE didn't suck on DEATH STICKS neither DO I - awe Laughter through tears - is the best God medicine for this RECOVERING NICOTINE ADDICT - dealing with a dying ma - I was praying for ma and family the thought came in MY heart to send ma flowers they will be delivered June 30th to mama - wild orchids - purple in color and I ordered a LARGE bouquet for her to enjoy NOW - Gods grace upon grace is so tender and loving to ME - NEVERTAKEANOTHERPUFFEVER over ME OR NotOnePuffEver over ME OR just for TODAY - blog BEFORE I choose to SUCK ON DEATH - Y'ALL are the best teacher's - thank you ALL


5 Days YAY

Posted by Majin Jun 26, 2020

Today I don’t feel like I need a cigarette, but I miss them for sure.

I guess you could say that’s progress.

Its really like a break-up. You know that seriously bad relationship that you keep going back to, you know it’s bad butt...... (pun intended).

You want to pick up the phone and call them even though you know it’s trash on the other side.

I still miss smoking but I am trying to focus on why I stopped and because I’ve done this before I know I will feel good soon.

The going through is not easy at times.

Wanted coffee today, but I’m not ready yet. That coffee would surely push me over the edge.


It is 1am 

Posted by indingrl.01.06.2011 Jun 26, 2020

It is 1am - MY ma favorite flower the American Red rose  - I was awakened at 1am and so I got up and prayed - WAITING for MY Lord Jesus to take MY ma home to heaven - yesterday was ordering necklace with ashes belonging to ma - I passed - MY husband and I did get 3 humming birds - the chain sold separately - all sterling silver - for MY sister Monica and 1 each for MY daughters -they wanted it and all the family put the orders in and we chit chat by text - it is on line with funeral home etc - amazing this on line stuff -  then after that was put on order for when MY ma is cremated - the funeral home will fill the humming birds with the ashes of mama - fond memory of MY ma - the humming bird was MY ma favorite tp watch at her feeders - she would filled those feeders and loved to sit and watch the humming birds - I hate DEATH - the next thing happened -  MY husband and I were going to get HIS ring size fixed - I surprised him with a NEW wedding band for OUR wedding anniversary coming in December 2020 - I ordered size 11 on line through the mail - wrong size - long story short - WE went out and MY car had a flat - WE just paid to fix that car 15 year old car just last week almost 3000.00 - keeping it running can't afford a NEW one - NOW this - husband put temp tire on and it was a nail - long story short - 12 year old tire is rotten and they don't make that tire anymore so a deal - 4 NEW tires - almost 440.00 with warranty etc -  then next - I get a text - MY ma cellphone will NO longer be in service  - MY sister - who paid for ma cellphone -  took it and it will no longer be in service- these tiny drops of rain BEFORE the HUGE STORM coming - MY ma DEATH - unknown time - this WAITING for the text from MY sister who is MY ma caregiver is the quite before the MY STORM  - I prayed and praised MY Daddy God for HIS love mercy and grace - since 1am and just cried MY tear prayers to ACCEPT MY REALITY - sometimes I think I will wake up and this acceptance of MY ma dying will just be a nightmare - ONLY I am NOT asleep and in MY heart and soul I know MY ma is dying YET I want it ALL to go away - I notice people smoking -  just like when I first quit smoking - I remember watching people smoke - even when I saw people SUCKING ON DEATH STICKS - I prayed for them - even YESTERDAY - I saw cigarettes butts on the sidewalk and I would tell MY husband - he said - YOU don't do that any more sweetee - I just laugh - so MY REALITY -  I won't be able to call MY ma cellphone anymore - so if any of YOU still can call YOUR ma please call her - I remember when MY ma called ME just the other day - it was a BEAUTIFUL surprise - June 23rd 2020 from her cell phone - yup -  just the other day - ONLY by God's grace - I am so GRATEFUL for HIS love shown to ME in tons of ways through people here teaching ME - N.O.P.E - the call where - MY ma said - I just prayed with the pastor - I said - that's wonderful ma - she said -  I love you and tell the girls and boys -  I love them and Michael too - I said ok - I love you ma - she said -  I love you - I said bye ma - she said bye - I am very GRATEFUL to MY Daddy God for HIS love and tender mercies on ME to receive that call from MY mama ONLY by God's grace I will NOT use MY ma dying as an excuse to SUCK ON DEATH STICKS to cope with MY STORM OF EMOTIONS - all the hail falling on MY soul - which is - MY mind - MY will - MY emotions and the lighting shot into MY heart and the winds blowing hard against MY NEW MINDSET - I will pray on and fight the good fight of FAITH - MY FAITH in ME that is Christ Jesus - MY Lord and HIS victory over death and the grave for MY mama and ALL believers who accepted - God's FREE gift - f eternal Salvation - just read - 1 Corinthians chapter 15 verses 1- 4 - please read in the Bible for YOUR self - thank for letting ME SHARE - MY STORM had passed because - ONLY by God's grace -  I came here through the soft rain falling on MY face to HELP -  the next SUFFERING NICOTINE ADDICT to HOPE - - read the blogs that is what I was told to do so I read them - in MY beginning - I was taught to say out loud -NeverTakeAnotherPuffEver over ME or MY ma dyingplease take what HELPS and let go of the rest - to be HELPFUL is MY only aim - thank you

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