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vanlil Blog

86 posts

900 days wow

Posted by vanlil Dec 5, 2018

Thanks Mark for reminding me of not smoking for 900 days.  I am so thrilled to be remembered and reminded.  I am so blessed to not having smoking family and friends and especially to EX.  After 63 yrs of smoking it is quite a miracle that I still have excellent health.  (some arthritis but that doesn't count when a person is 82) I am still teaching my Pilate class 3 times a week. I have retired from my Classical Concert Group.  Sometimes I get bored but now I am doing a lot more reading and enjoying the monthly book club I now have time for. NEVER THOUGHT I COULD EVER QUIT CIGARETTES...……..tried so many times!!!! So Grateful.


hurricane season is over

Posted by vanlil Nov 9, 2018

Well we certainly faired well this hurricane season.  No storms thankfully. My dgtr. in law (California) stayed with us for 7 weeks "in case" of a hurricane.  She is a chef - and wow did we eat.  My husband hasn't fallen for about a month now and hopefully he will be extra cautious after so many falls and injuries.  My fibromyalgia (both feet) is not good but I will be seeing my Dr. soon and we will discuss what to do next.  Maybe even CBD oil.  Yikes.

But how wonderful to say "I am a nonsmoker" and for that I am grateful. Almost 2-1/2 years (next month) after smoking for 63 years.  I am a very grateful elder.



Posted by vanlil Oct 1, 2018

I am truly blessed for many, many things but especially for not having any Hurricanes this season.

I know it isn't completely over but the terrifying dates are over. ( peak season early Sept.) I live in the Florida Keys.

Also blessed that I am not smoking.  I don't know the days but I have been smoke free 2 years this past June and grateful for that.  After 63 yrs of smoking I am truly amazed that I am healthy for my age of 82.

Husband is finally accepting his frailty and hasn't had a fall for about 2 months now.

Thank you all for being here for me.


Another Birthday

Posted by vanlil Jul 5, 2018

Well I just turned 82 yrs. old and I can't believe it.  Not only that I am 82 who smoked for 63 years and can't believe I am still very healthy and alive. 

Also...………..I can't believe I haven't had a cigarette for 2 years and 16 days...……...THAT IS A MIRACLE!

Thank you all for being here for me and hopefully I can help someone realize that you are never to old to quit smoking.

I can't be on the computer a lot because my husband isn't doing very good.  Falling a lot - uses a cane and pray he would use the walker (only have 3 in the house) more than he should.  

Yes my nerves are on edge waiting for the next fall to happen and it usually looks like crime scenes because he bleeds very easily.  He is 89 yrs. old and very stubborn.  

However I am still so grateful to be a non-smoker.  I don't stink - my house doesn't stink and I do not feel like a 2nd. rate citizen anymore.    Whoeeee


whoppee  2 yrs. tomorrow

Posted by vanlil Jun 17, 2018

Can't believe I am smoke free for two whole years!!!!   Feeling blessed to have made it this far.  I smoked for 63 years and tried to quit more times than I can count.  The gratitude to all of you on EX.  It sure has been a ride with my husbands health issues.  That is still happening - living on the edge.  But I don't want/need to smoke.

Thank you all for being here for me. I cut down on a lot of my volunteer work in Key West and I do not drive at night anymore.  Hopefully no big hurricanes this Season.  But then again - I LIVE ONE DAY AT A TIME.

Still teaching Pilates 3 times a week. Not bad for someone who will be 82 in less than a month.  Whoppee  


600 days cigarette free

Posted by vanlil Feb 6, 2018

Holy cow 600 days ago  I had my last cigarette and I am soooo grateful.  ONE DAY AT A TIME and no regrets.  Not even the 8#'s I gained.   I really found some interesting things about me.  Especially how ashamed I was to be smoking and then trying to act like I wasn't a smoker.  That took a lot of time and work and then I felt like a liar and 2nd. rate citizen.  Free at last.



2nd. smoke free Christmas

Posted by vanlil Dec 24, 2017

Can't believe I am 555 smoke free days!!!! Grateful to all of you for being here for me and helping me to stay quit.  I quit a lot - but couldn't stay quit.

This is a gift I can not buy, order on line or ask someone to give to me.  For me it is a miracle and I will continue to stay humble and appreciative.

Merry Christmas to all and my best wishes for the year 2018.


Ring a Ding Ding

Posted by vanlil Dec 6, 2017

Yup starting to feel like Christmas.  My biggest gift will be 1-1/2 yrs smoke free on the 20th.  Never thought that would ever happen after over 60 yrs. of smoking.  Husband is still in recovery and not driving - Hurricane debris is still all over the place and won't be cleaned up for a couple of more months.  However - I am so grateful that we didn't get MAJOR damage like a lot of people did.  Nice to have the screens on the wrap around porch now - Can you believe screens and railings are hard to get and especially people to install them.?

Thank you Ex family for    always  BEING here for me.


500 dof (wow)

Posted by vanlil Nov 1, 2017

Never thought I could stay stopped for 500 days.  Thank you one and all - for your fantastic support for all of these 500 days of not smoking those smelly cigarettes.  Today I am feeling "Normal" whatever "Normal" is.  Been to the Therapist 2 times - don't know if that is the reason - but I have one more appointment for next week.  Taking it One Day At A Time.

Reading a good book called "The Peaceful Warrior" and I think with Time and more Time I will be OK.

Big HUgs to you ALL.


Feeling Better Yeah

Posted by vanlil Oct 22, 2017

I am feeling a lot  better.  I found that I was getting more and more agitated and having the Nurse Aide a few hours each day helped me a lot.  My fibromyalgia  pain is a lot less and only taking the minimum amount of drugs the Dr. prescribed for me.  The Aide does the exercise routines with my husband and he listens to her.  He is working on strengthening his lower half of his body to improve his balance problem.  Holy Cow - so grateful I don't smoke anymore. That would really be a stresser WANTING/NEEDING a cigarette. Our yard and porches are still a mess.  Screens are all ripped out from the hurricane.  But new leaves and buds are starting to show up.  Tomorrow I will meet with a psychologist and hopefully find out how to get some of my inner-peace back.  Time Time Time................... 


hopefully some normalcy

Posted by vanlil Oct 17, 2017

Well after the hurricane - roof fixed and ugly debris piles being removed.  My husband back in therapy for balance issues which is still denies having even though his last one took him to Miami in a helicoptor I still haven't picked up a cigarette.  That is a miracle for me.  I will be seeing a therapist on Monday for support because with all of this  stuff and trauma I am shaky and even afraid to drive.  Just not myself. I have hired a wonderful nurse aide to get my husband out for rides, etc. My fibromyalgia on both feet prevents me from shopping and walking for only short times. Painful but I don't want to get heavy duty meds because I like having a clear head. Dr. put me on very mild stuff (he calls it baby doses ) and that suits me just fine. It sure feels good getting back to Ex family.

Well I am back home for a couple of weeks.  Minimal damage but another serious fall for my husband.  He was airlifted by helicopter on Oct. 6th. (early evening) to Jackson Memorial Hospital Ryder Trauma Center.  He is ok BUT is very shaky.   How grateful my son and dgtr. in law are still  here.  They extended their departure fo California after this accident.  Did I smoke   NO NO NO   Did I want to YES YES YES.

I just hired a young nurse friend to begin to stay with us after my kids leave on Sat. It will only be part time - but I need help watching after my husband because I am so jumpy.  I do not want to drive the car (he can't and will begin PT at home next week) My dgtr. in law is doing the wound care for now and I will have a visiting nurse continue to check on the 7" stitches gash .   So fortunate he didn't have a brain bleed.

The landscaping is a mess - son cleaned up the property a lot - we were overly planted but lost some beautiful trees and stuff.

Minimal roof damage - all fixed - We do have an elevator and hopefully the needed part will be in and repaired by the end of this week.  I have a terrible case of Fibromyalgia on both feet - got meds. for that but I can't stand or walk for long periods of time.   Still not sleeping well - wake up 6AM and the brain starts up and can't go back to sleep.

I am so glad I have the nurse working for us ESPECIALLY me.  

Lillian (vanlil) 489 dof


Returning home today

Posted by vanlil Sep 28, 2017

Leaving Pa today and meeting with son (structural architect) and wife in Miami and then fly to Key West.  Arriving aroune 6:30 PM.  Curfew still in place 10PM to 6AM to prevent looting. Photos of our house and boat looks great.

Yippeee no smoking and grateful to be an Ex smoker.


another hurricane??????

Posted by vanlil Sep 19, 2017

I am grateful I am not a ""newbie"" or I would be lighting up a stinky cigarette. I will be celebrated  15 months of smobriety on the 16th. of Sept.  Looking at hurricane Marie  taking the same path as Irma. We are still in Pa with family.

Lillian (vanlil)


still an evacuated non smoker

Posted by vanlil Sep 19, 2017

had my 1st good night sleep since hurricane Irma.