Around Thanksgiving, I decided that I was going to quit smoking. It was time to break my 30 year habit. I picked the date strategically so I would be distracted at work, and I even picked the time of day...evening so I would wake up with a number of smoke free hours under my belt. Did those choices help? You bet.....they set the mental stage for me to control my quit from the onset. I go back and read my first seven blogs now and laugh....they really were funny days. Hard? Not as hard as I thought. Fun? No, but exciting because I was actually quitting. I was exhausted that first week, that's my biggest takeaway. That and the fact that I still can't stand the smell of Trident Spearmint gum. It's permanently banned from my home. Much to the delight of my family and friends, the split personality syndrome has ended. My sleep pattern has returned to normal, and the cravings and triggers are rare. The psycological warfare that my addiction played with me has either given up or is just taking a break. Either way is fine with me, because I am in control of this quit and am ready if the warfare resumes. It's been an interesting month reading blogs and getting to know many of you. I've watched and read about other quits...some have been amazing and even stronger than mine, some failed, sadly, before the 72 hour mark. I still wonder what it is that makes the difference. I trust that those in charge of the EX community study our blogs looking for clues. Anything that any of us do or say could help someone else break free....and, how cool is it to give and take at the same time? I came to this site for support during the hard phases of my quit; I did not come here to try and quit. I knew as soon as I hit 24 hours smoke free that I would never smoke again, and that's when I registered as an EX. This site allowed me to work through all of the stages of breaking free of addiction as well as the stages of grief. Yes, I grieved quitting smoking, and thankfully, moved through all of the stages quickly. I initially had a terrible time with cravings in the evenings, and naturally I blogged about it. I figured out that it was because I was relaxed and therefore my guard was down....so, problem solved. I recall Nancy asking what I did to counter the cravings once I figured it out and at the time, could not articulate an intelligent answer. I may as well have said "I dunno" in my foggy brain phase of the quit. Simply being aware of the cause allowed me to mentally control my response to the trigger. I didn't have to change my routine or behavior. I knew the urge to smoke would come, and when it did, I allowed it to pass. I didn't give the urge any power. They stopped a few days later. Proactive vs reactive. I was completely unprepared to hit the wall between the two and three week mark. There were a couple of days there that were by far the hardest of my quit. I've read only one other blog that mentioned this (unfortunately, I read about it after going through it, lol), and I'm happy that it is not the norm. If this was mentioned in any reading material, I missed it because I was so focused on 72 hours. I didn't like getting knocked on my ass unprepared, but got my feet under me again pretty quickly. Any newbies out there....be aware. You'll get through it if it hits, just know it could happen. Key for me was blogging.....every single day until quitting no longer consumed me. I blog now only when I really want to say something, but I made myself blog daily for the first week. If you're just starting, blog. Blog a lot. Become an EX is also critical to maintaining and protecting my precious quit. I start each day by affirming that I will not smoke (Terrie, if you read this, will you link the group in the comments?). I get my coffee and make my pledge. I truly start my day with it. It works for me and for many others. I read blogs on this site all day. I am always logged in. I try to encourage new members and I comment on posts that many of you make. Staying connected continues to give me strength. For anyone who's new that may read this, I have to point out that there are so many people here who have 1, 5, 10+ YEARS of being smoke free under their belts.....but they still log in every day to guide and support those of us who start down this path. That's love. That's generosity. That's giving back. If they give advice, take it. They know that of which they speak, as the saying goes. I loved quitting, even on the hard days. From the bottom of my heart, thank you for supporting me from the beginning and helping to make my quit worth loving. xx Susan (30+DOF)
