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shashort Blog

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May 13th 2016, exactly 1461  days  (4 years) ago I embarked on a new journey to search, seek and find this new life called FREEDOM. I really didn't know how or where to begin  finding this FREEDOM I  read about. I have been in bondage and slavery to this Nico dude for 30 plus years, so all I knew was smoking and that next puff was all life had to offer. I finally stumbled on this site and began reading how to conquer this Nico dude which would lead into the right path of freedom.  Oh, how I longed to find this freedom, but truthfully when I began reading, it all sounded like a fairy tale that was unreachable and I wouldn't be able to find ( because I had no self worth) and truthfully I didn't believe in myself.  The more I read peoples stories and learned about this addiction the more I thought it to be an obtainable goal. The more I read, truthfully I found myself a little anxious, because I was really thinking about giving up the Nico dude, the only life I knew and only thing (friend I thought) at the time celebrated happiness, sad, lonely, boredom and anything that life threw my way. I found my anxiety building as I got closer to my original quit date.  My original date I set was May 15th. I remember the details like yesterday. On the 12th, I decided to practice time without smoking, I allowed myself have one every hour, then 1 1/2, then 2 hours, at 5:50 PM I went for the challenge that changed me for the rest of my life.  Reading one of Dale's blog jonescarp.aka.dale.Jan_2007  using his advice, I told myself to wait 10 minutes, then 20, 25, 30, 40 then 2 hours on went on a minute to minute wait to light up, before I knew 6 hours went by without a smoke.  I got rid of all my smoking things went to bed at midnight and never smoked another cigarette again. This method took away the anticipation and anxiety out of the equation.   The funny thing is I didn't blog I quit until afternoon sometimes, as I didn't believe I really could do this.  My thought was if I failed then no one would know except me.  Finally, I blogged to make the final, forever commitment to not put a cigarette in my mouth ever again.  Now was this easy?  NO! By all means I did struggle,which is normal as this was a new normal and I had to learn new coping strategies to deal with life on it terms. So the moral of this long winded blog, is quitting smoking is very doable. I learned that anything you want in life is worth all the effort it takes to succeed and get you where you want to be in life.  So what did I do?  I developed the NOPE (no one puff ever) concept, I told myself I don't do that anymore and one day I believed it.  I committed myself to find this freedom, I found my determination ( some days I had to dig in with both heels in the ground) but I stayed true to myself,  I blogged and stayed connected to this community.  I told myself " YES I CAN, YES I WILL AND I DID WHATEVER IT TOOK TO CONQUER NICO DUDE.  As I say in all my blogs, the great thing about this community is you do not have to go it alone on your quits, reach out and let us help.  Get excited about your quits because you are about to embark on a journey to a new you.  What does freedom mean and look like for you?  For me I am loving freedom.  Freedom for me, is being in control of me and not having the need of a substance to control my life anymore. I conquered Nico dude so anything I set my mind to I believe when I put forth the effort needed I will succeed.  I am a new me and loving life.  What are you waiting for? Come join us in defeating your Nicodemon.


Hi All!

Posted by shashort Mar 10, 2020

Just thought I would write and update. 5 weeks post op after shoulder surgery, doing and feeling better.  Still having a little pain but tolerable and have lots of therapy but I am surviving.  Still very limited on what I can do, but figured a way to type with both hands again.  YAY!!  I have been in here reading making sure everyone is staying in line and keeping NOPE with there quits. I have been reading many struggling with quits.  Please hang in there stay determined say NOPE NO MATTER WHAT!  You can do this. I swear!! Take it from someone who seemed to struggle a lot in the beginning of my quit.  I remember having thoughts I would never be able to do this but here I am with 1397 of freedom and loving life to the fullest no matter what life throws at me.  Believe me this freedom is worth all the hard work and effort you have to do.  You will love you even more, once you defeat the Nico dude.  Hang tough, be strong and say YES I CAN do this quit thing.

You would think by now I would have this recovery thing down my now, but nope still sucks. Surgery went well.  The doctor was able to repair everything without problems.  I am already 3 weeks into recovery.  I can't use my right arm at all and typing with my left hand, which you know my struggles with my stubs.  But, what I can do is be positive, be determined and know this shall pass.  So newbies be patient find your determination, and keep with NOPE it will get you to that freedom you are seeking.  Although. I haven't been commenting, but know I have been lurking and reading and silently cheering on the newbies. Being patient with yourself though this process is a must. Stay close to us, keep strong and don't give into nico dude as smoking is not required no matter what!!  With everyday you get stronger.  Well it has taken 3 days to write this, so practicing patience too.  So don't give up, your in control of you  and can do what ever you set your mind to. Keep going I will be cheering you on. 1381 days free.

The great news is I became a great granny last night to a beautiful great grandson.  His name is Maddox Ezekiel weigh 7 lbs and healthy baby boy. Another great thing is this baby will not know granny as a smoker, and will never have to smell nasty smoke on me while holding him.  More great news is haven't had one puff of a nasty cigarette in 1358 days.



And for the not so good news.  I have to have surgery on my right shoulder, which will be tomorrow.  I started having  pain and they did MRI which showed I have 2 large cysts causing my labrum and rotator cuff to tear.  The good news they believe the cyst to be benign, but will still biopsy it.  With it being my right shoulder and my left hand is not so good working with the computer, I will probably be away from cite for awhile.  Didn't want you to think I disappeared.


I see lot's of new people here, so I wanted to say believe in yourselves and know you can kick this addiction to the curb.  Find your determination, stay positive, keep with NOPE (not one puff ever) and SINAO (smoking is not an option),and seek help when you struggle and it will lead you to the freedom you are seeking.

So everyone behave and stay smoke free and I shall return.


Good to be FREE!!

Posted by shashort Dec 24, 2019

Hi everyone!   I am free!    I missed my 1300 day celebration.  I have not had one puff off of a stinking cigarette and no nicotine in my body for 1320 days. I am  FREE and now officially allowed to quit holding down the bed and couch.  Still have to lay on my left side at night, which sucks as my left side hurts from laying on it.  I think that surgery would have been delayed if they would have told me I would be down for 2 weeks.  Oh well, life happens and smoking wasn't required no matter what!  Plus I look for the perks, in that being my wonderful hubby had to do my honey do list and put up with me whining haha.   Being bed ridden during preparing for Christmas sucks. Sorry it took a while to update . Trying to run around to get caught up on shopping, groceries and other stuff.  But I wanted everyone to know surgery went well, and I can see again, still a bit blurring, but they say it takes times for it to improve. Definitely better than before surgery. Thank you all for your prayers and always being here to support me no matter what ails me. Love to you all.


I see lots of new people in EX!  Holidays can be tricky, so have a plan and write down a list of things to distract you in case of a crisis.  Remember come here first before you smoke.  Find your determination, stick with your decision to stay quit. Keep with NOPE, NO MATTER WHAT and one day at a time will get you to that freedom.  It is not easy but will tell you once you reach the road of freedom you will not regret it.  Also, want to Welcome the QuitNet  to our EX  family .


Everyone have a Merry Christmas


Surgery update

Posted by shashort Dec 2, 2019

Hi everyone. Sorry for taking so long to update.  Surgery went fine, they were able to correct everything. Of course me being me I also had an unexpected start of another detached retina.  So recoop started off kinda of sucky to the point I have to lay on my left side completely with exception of eating and going to the restroom. Not supposed to read but can watch TV.  I figure I am writing you all and not reading, but is hard to write laying on my side.  I have a follow up appointment tomorrow so will update.  Thank you all so much for the prayers and your love. Love and hugs back to you.  Hopefully tomorrow I can write sitting up lol.


The dudes and Me being me

Posted by shashort Oct 20, 2019

Howdy everyone! Both cataract surgeries are done!  Of course me being me, surprise! surprise! I did not escape the problematic complications from the wrinkle in my right eye causing blurry vision.  According to the cataract dude, the wrinkle will continue to worsen, which will eventually lead to it covering the visual field of the retina and eventually another surgery.  I see cataract dude on Monday for post op then back to the retina dude on Oct 29th to see if I can escape or delay any more surgeries.  So for now, right vision is great, using readers and doing short spurts on computer, so hope to be here more often.   I can tell you one dude I won't being seeing is the Nico dude, because  I don't do that anymore and that is me being me!   To the newbies, know that whatever life throws at you, smoking is not required and will only make matters worse.  Keep it with NOPE, No Matter What! and one day at a time and determination will get you to that freedom you are seeking. I am here with 1255 DOF, if I can get here so can you! You got this!!


Hey Peeps, missing everyone

Posted by shashort Sep 26, 2019

First things first, I didn't get a chance to talk about the reunion in May.  I really had a blast reuniting with some and  meeting many new people.  The party started, with meeting pir8fan Tommy and ShawnP Shawn at Baltimore airport and heading to Virginia together.  The highlights for me was fun in the sun hanging at the beach, then nights on the beach listening to Giulia and Mandolinrain Missy playing their guitar and the mandolin with many of us singing together in the wee hours of the night on the beach. The Saturday meeting of course always special and Giula wrote a special song for us  Quititude song we all sang together. Also Sunday the great water balloon toss and Frisbee throw.  I could go on an on, it was so fun connecting names and faces, and all the great conversations going on.  If you never been to one put it on your MUST DO list.  I loved the great forever friends I have made here.  Thanks Giulia for rooming with me.  Thanks to all who made this possible.


 Life has been crazy busy for past few months but I am fine.  Between my older sister (Lisa) having a heart attack so I needed to be with my twin to care for her, then care for Lisa when she got home and then Karen (twin).  had breathing  issues  requiring  ER  visits, when I am there I do not take my computer so I have quality sister time.   And In the midst of all that then I had another retinal detachment requiring laser surgery times 3, which made it difficult to see for a day or so and it causes horrible headaches.  My vision had gotten worse due to cataracts, so hard to stare and read on the computer.  Now retina tear is resolved, now off for cataract surgery on Oct 2 and 11 and then hopefully will be back on EX.  I actually have been working on a blog for 2 months but didn't seem to find time to finish it. Another thing, they did MRI on my foot and found I have a neuroma growing on the stump where they took my toe.  Not sure of the plan yet.  When it rains it pours and this old lady didn't have any time to snore lol.  But life has not been all bad I did get a chance to getaway for weekend with kids, grandkids and  great grandkids and enjoy great quality family time in a cabin in the middle of nowhere. It will be a weekend I will always cherish.  Then I did a getaway for me time and went to a women’s retreat for a weekend (which I would have never thought of as a smoker), and another weekend out with hubby celebrating our 24th anniversary.   And of course, I did get to manage some pool time. Have to take the good and bad, but overall life is good.  The greatest thing I got through all of this without one thought or puff of a cigarette.  It is so amazing that in my smoking days I would have never took on these weekend outings, because I never smoked around family, and would be hard to get my fix.  So yes today I am still enjoying my life of freedom from the Nico dude.  Today I am free with 1231 days FREE.  So to the newbies, know life does get easier with time.  Remember one day at a time,I don't do that anymore and NOPE will get you to the freedom you are seeking.


 I miss all of you and will be back soon.



Posted by shashort May 14, 2019

Wow wee a great feeling as I have actually went 1095 days equals 3 years without a single puff whatsoever!!  In the beginning of my quit I struggled.  I think for me and probably many others, it is really hard to see ourselves as nonsmokers, because smoking is all we knew.  For me, I mourned the loss of my Nico dude, I had a sense of  missing something.  I didn't realize it at the time but all these smoking years I have been missing out on real life. I lost out on the feeling of sense of purpose.   Before I quit smoking I would rarely go anywhere because I didn't want the hassle of having to find a place to get my fix, was embarrassed because my smoke smell, and really it was so much easier to stay home and not have a life. I would make excuses why not to go to family things or if I went I would be outside sneaking a fix and missing family conversation. I am sure many of us did the same thing, if we couldn't smoke we wouldn't go. So real life loss is what I was missing and the sense of belonging, because I isolated myself from the real world.  In the beginning we struggle and fight ourselves and the process because of the unknown and fear of life without Nico dude or dude-etts (my made up word lol) in our life.


Let me tell you there is life after smoke and I am loving life and me again. I have discovered there is life and people on the outside of my doors. I am doing things I would never do before. I wake up breathing in the mornings and no more struggles of gasping for air. I actually go to exercise class with a group of people. I would have never done this ,for one I am very shy and uncomfortable exercising in front of people, I couldn't breath while exercising and my self worth was none. I volunteer helping special needs kids, which I wouldn't do before because I was ashamed of the way I smell. So let me tell you there is life without smoking.  I enjoying waking up and knowing there is things to do in life, and there is people out there to me meet and gaining new friends and having a social life again is way better than being a slave to the Nico dude. Another great thing in my  life I have learned so much about me and learned I am as valuable as anyone else, but I am still a work in progress.  So to the newbies, I challenge you to think beyond the life of smoking and really visualize what you think life could be like for you.  What kind of things can you do again that you enjoy doing that smoking kept you from.doing. Get excited about your quits!  Find your determination and go this your final quit. Think positive and KNOW YOU CAN do anything your set your mind to.  Know that all the discomfort you experience in the beginning will not last forever, and it is so worth the effort so get to the other side of life after smoke.


The great thing about this group is you don't have to go alone through this journey. We are your cheerleaders! Use us and come here for help, vent frustrations, read and learn all you can.  I know for me I would have never made it through this journey to new life without the great Elders and support I received here. Again, another great thing of life without smoking is all the great people and friends I have met here.  So to my Elders THANK YOU for putting up with my tantrums and knowing what to say to help me get through this journey and keeping me on the curvy and narrow path to freedom.  So to the newbies, stick to the path of freedom and you will not regret it.  Stick with NOPE! It will take you to freedom.


Oops didn't mean Goodbye

Posted by shashort Feb 7, 2019

Whoops I didn't mean to publish it, I left in a hurry and thought I clicked draft.  Yes it is goodbye triple digits!  Sorry your stuck with me not going anywhere hehe.  This was what I meant to post was:



Wow I can't believe it is already 1000 days  without a single stinking puff off a nasty cigarette whatsoever!   In my smoking days when I kept thinking about quitting I wish I could have foreseen the future and what life without a cigarette in hand has to offer, maybe I would have quit smoking sooner.  I  really love life as an EX!  Yeah it was a struggle in the beginning but the end of 1,000 days life is good. .  The greatest thing about being an EX is I don't have to answer to the beck and call of the Nico Dude.  I can do whatever I like and don't have to worry about a fix or how I smell.  I now can exercise without gasping for air, spend time with family without feeling like I miss out on things, spending weekends in smoke free places, which I would not do as a smoker.  I am a work in progress but even my self esteem and confidence has increased.  So had I could have seen in the future at how much I enjoy life without smoking I would have quit earlier. To all the newbies:  Stick with your commitment, remember SINAO (smoking is not an option) NOPE (not one puff ever) will get you to FREEDOM!  It really does get better, just be patient with yourselves.  YOU CAN do whatever you set your mind to.

Today was a great day not only spending the day with my sister and volunteering to help special needs to make dog biscuits for them to earn money for their outings but I also had a Doctor appointment and was finally discharged from the surgeon.  What great timing to end the crazy hand journey and start new beginnings with the 2,000's chapter.


I can't say thank you enough for all the love and support you all have shown me.  I really know without a doubt I would have not made this final quit journey without all of you showing me the way. Thank you with all my heart.



Posted by shashort Feb 7, 2019

Wow I can't believe it is already 1000 days  without a single stinking puff off a nasty cigarette whatsoever!   In my smoking days when I kept thinking about quitting I wish I could have foreseen the future and what life without a cigarette in hand has to offer, maybe I would have quit smoking sooner.



Whoops didn't tmean to post yet wasn't done lol


The last time!!!

Posted by shashort Jan 31, 2019

HI all! Guess what!!! I survived THE LAST SURGERY!!  I am 3 week and 3 days post op for the last time SO THEY SAY!  I went for a follow up last week because my incision looked angry, ticked and really red, so I called the Doctor went in and it was on the verge of infection she put me on antibiotics for safety and today it looks really good and healing nicely.  I started another round of OT for the last time. Hand is feeling somewhat better, at least enough to start typing with it. YAY!!  At least one more follow up next week and then it's the last time for this hand journey. Again HORRAY!!  So now I am taking a right turn and a new start of my journey to finding who the new me is and what else this journey has for me.  I know one thing certain in my new start is  watch out QUAD SQUAD in 7 days here I come! Today is 993 days of freedom.  This first chapter of 1000 days had it's challenges and trials and here's to moving forward to chapter 2 and hopefully it is much kinder to me. Thanks to everyone here for supporting me through all this and I know I would have not been a successful quitter without this wonderful EX group.


Although, I haven't been commenting I have been here reading and seeing several newbies struggling with your quits.

Make this the last time you light up a cigarette, make it the last time you relapse, and make it the last time trying to quit.

How to make it the last time is make a COMMITMENT, GET DETERMINED, TELL YOURSELF NO MATTER WHAT!!! NOPE IS THE WAY TO GO!!!  We know it is hard, but it can be done, we did it and so can you.  You will have struggles and challenges to face no doubt as you are learning how to deal with life on life's terms.   Just know those challenges and struggles teach you to become a stronger person. So dig deep, stay strong, do what you have to do to get through those struggle, kick, scream, punch a pillow, cry, be tough just don't smoke.  Know these feeling and struggles get easier with time.  Be patient it is a process.   We are here to help you get through these struggles so use us.  Come here and holler for help and make this your last time and forever quit.



Posted by shashort Jan 7, 2019

Surgery went well.  I love the part when they ask me if I smoke and I can happily say NO!  They gave me a nerve block so at the moment I feel no pain. Limited to what I can do for 3 weeks.till I can see the Doctor. But YAY it is over.  Thank you for all the well wishes. Now onto recovery for the last time. Glad I don't smoke my healing time will be quicker.  Thank you to all of you for your love and support and prayers during this long for ever lasting nightmare for keeping me on the straight and narrow path of freedom. I truely don't think I would have made it now 970 days of freedom without my EX family.  Off to bed to sleep off the sedation.


Merry Christmas

Posted by shashort Dec 24, 2018

I am forever grateful to each and everyone for all your love and support.  I am thankful to be part of this wonderful family. Without this family I would have been puffing my life away the last two and half years.  I am forever grateful to be smokefree and although life has not been exactly easy in the past 2 years ( 955 DOF) I REMAINED AND EXSMOKER and so can you.. Remember newbies you are creating new memories as an EX smoker, stay true to yourself and remember NOPE.  NOPE has set me free and it can you.  Remember NO MATTER WHAT NOPE NOPE NOPE!!!!  Sending love and hugs to all of you.



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Protect your Quits!!

Posted by shashort Nov 22, 2018

Happy Thanksgiving to my wonderful EX family I am forever grateful for each and everyone of you.  I remember early in my quit that holiday gatherings could be a bit of a challenge.  In fact I was 6 months in my quit on thanksgiving and came dang close to losing my quit. I actually had a cigar in one hand and a cigarette in the other hand. I was forever thankful that I learned new skills  and had my tool box to ward off the nicotine dude.  I went for a walk singing Giulia's NOPE song sucking on a lemon and smelling my hands, and singing pew weeeee my hands stink and NOPE NOPE NOPE  I don't do that anymore.  So what is in everyone's tool box to protect their quits today and every holiday?    I am thankful for my 924 days of freedom.


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