Two simple, familiar expressions that are so common that I often forget how profound they really are. But when I acknowledge what they mean and accept them for truth, they are great filters for a lot of life's static and b.s.
Talk is cheap. Anyone can say they are or will do anything they want to say. Talk is merely ideas declared: compliments, insults, hopes and wishes. Talk can be hurtful or helpful; damaging or uplifting. It can be present, past, or future. It is anything and everything. Anything that can be everything is almost always worth nothing. Or is it everything that can be anything is almost always worth nothing? You see what I mean? There really is no truth in it.
Truth lies in action. Truth is. It lies in the past. For any particular idea, it is only one thing and it never changes. Truth is final. Truth is done.
My ex-wife vowed, "'til death do we part," yet we are both living and we are already parted. Is there a difference between being 'in love' and 'loving'? More importantly, does it matter? If there is no truth of permanency in love, then what difference does it make except on a day-to-day basis?
I call myself an ex-smoker. So far I have been. But am I really? I can only say that I am and that I intend to be, but the truth, as in love, will only be revealed day-to-day. That is why we say, "keep counting the days." As one passes, it is always the next that maintains the truth.
Commenting on a blog yesterday, I came to my own personal conclusion that the difference between talk and truth is a matter of character. Whether I am who I say I am and whether I do what I say I'm going to do takes integrity. It's a question of how much value I put on honor, (honour for jimmypage?) When keeping a commitment becomes uncomfortable, will I keep it anyway? Do I put a higher value on my word than my comfort? As a soldier committed to a cause, will I run from the battlefield, or will I charge it and struggle through to the other side victorious or die trying?
One thing I've learned from love and quitting smoking is that I am a terrible judge of character; that guessing for me is essentially a game of russian roulette. My ex-wife hit the message home the hardest but some of my ex-friends have too. I thought some would surely be successful who weren't and others, who I thought for sure would fail, are still here proving me wrong. I've adopted a policy of keeping my own now. I will keep my own heart and I will keep my own quit and I will be responsible for them; in- deed, only I can be truly responsible for them. Tell me you love me, but live it day by day. Tell me you've quit, and live that day by day too.
In many ways, love and quitting smoking are manifestations of the same concept. Love is an exercise in self-sacrifice. Breaking an addiction is an exercise in self-deprivation. Both are difficult to maintain long-term and when the going gets tough, both take strength of character to persevere. The only difference between a successful marriage and a successful quit is that the former takes two. I may never know the joy of a successful, long-lasting marriage, but I love that I chose the day of my divorce as the day I chose to quit smoking.
My forever love turned out to be just talk. As for my forever quit, I can only take it day by day, one on top of another, for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, until death do I part. Only time will tell if it is the truth.
