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Share your quitting journey

Surfing the Crave Wave

Puff-TM-Draggin
Member
2 14 189
‎10-22-2015 12:05 PM

Hey friends,

I'm having one right now.  A swelling crave to smoke.  Wow!  It feels good.  I'm smiling.  = )

Chuckling under my breath.  It tickles.  It's trying to seduce me.  I know it won't.  I'm just going to float with it.  UP AnD down.  Let it wash over me ... run tickling-vibrating through me ... relaxing.  A long-lost love whispering in my ear ... saying she is sorry.

Ed Sheeran's 'Thinking Out Loud' is playing.  I think that was the trigger.  Such a beautiful song ... depressing to me now ... everything for which I had hoped.  

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lp-EO5I60KA

You lied to me.  Just let it go.  Let it drift away.  Shed a tear and say goodbye.  I can only control my own decisions and actions ... my evergreen.  Promise to myself, whatever else ... I will be true to me.

And now it's passed.

Deep breath ...  EX-haaaaaaaale.

14 Comments
About the Author
I remember a friend coaxing me into smoking when I was about 12 yrs. old. At the time, it seemed daring. Before long I was sneaking cigarettes alone. I remained a closet smoker through high school, college, and for seventeen years of my career. Even before it became politically incorrect, I was ashamed of it. It didn't fit the image I wanted others to have of me. As an introverted, over-achiever, cigarettes became my constant companion, my support group, and my reward system. Finally, after thirty years as a smoker, I quit to please my fiance. We got married and started a family. I couldn't have been happier. Three years later, when signs of weakness presented themselves in my wife's commitment to our marriage, I returned to my old friend and support system with whom to commiserate. That didn't help matters. My divorce was finalized two days ago, and I decided to make that my divorce date with cigarettes as well. I have two young children for whom to grow old and for whom to set an example. And besides, between my wife and my attorney, I really can't afford to smoke anymore anyway.