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Smoking is Still Not an Option at Four Weeks! WAHOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

polly2
Member
0 15 26

Wow, what an incredible journey this has been! When I think back to my very first day here, I’m reminded of EX commercials. I was a perfect candidate for a starring role! My brain was catapulted into a dense fog, my nicodemonic thoughts were in full swing, galloping incessantly through my mind, and I felt like someone had put me through the wash without the soap and then forgot to put me in the dryer.

Every time I stopped smoking before, in my 39 years of addiction, I relied only upon myself, never seeking support or help from others. Each time my mind was quickly invaded by those sickly, compelling nicodemonic thoughts. “Just one won’t hurt me. I need a cigarette. I’m so stressed out, I can’t stand it. I can’t help myself, it smells too good.” That’s just a tiny fraction of how my mind obsessed at full speed, causing me to cave. UGHHH…the insanity of it all…

When I came here, the very first day, I reached out for help. Help came in the form of all of you, boosting me up with positive thoughts, checking in on me on a daily basis, giving me constant encouragement, compassion and understanding. You knew very well what I was going through and managed to help me find the courage and strength to take a different approach. One of the very first statements that I latched onto was the saying, “Smoking is not an option.”

Hmm…Smoking is not an option. If it’s not an option, then how could I begin to rationalize it, justify it or make excuses, which made no sense at all? Those excuses kicked my butt every time. Now I knew why. I came to realize that this is very much a mental addiction. It made perfect sense to battle those negative thoughts with positive thoughts in order to overcome the negative chatter, which consistently stormed through my mind, one after another. It was now my turn to start kicking butt!

Each and every day I learned new positive ways to think about this, such as:

      
  • NO = Not One.
  •   
  • NOPE = Not one puff ever.
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  • Cravings won’t kill me, but smoking will.
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  • There is no such thing as trying to stop; instead just do it (NIKE).
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  • I am a happy, healthy, confident non-smoker.

As those positive thoughts counteracted my negative thoughts, eventually I found myself laughing, yes laughing. I was laughing at the Nicodemon who led me to believe that smoking relaxed me and gave me energy. What’s up with that? Relaxing energy? I’ve never heard of that before, except in my mind…

I've also learned that it is very important to reach out for help when you need it, especially if you feel like you are going to relapse. There are so many people here who care and who will go way out of their way to help you through the rough spots! Equally important, once you get as little as day one under your belt, you can help others as well. I've found it essential to give back what had been so freely given to me! Giving back strengthens your own commitment, but there is also great joy in helping people who are possibly saving their lives!!

So, I reached out as much as I could, never expecting anything back, with the exception of knowing that I was doing the right thing for both myself and others. The fact is though, that it does come back to those of us who reach out to help others. I’ve made awesome friendships, met people from all over the world, and I have found a sense of FREEDOM, which I have never had before. I get a lot of posts and I feel a huge sense of gratification when I see someone who is kicking butt, knowing that I may have helped them in some way, shape or form!!

I’m a big picture kind of person. When I look at the big picture, what I see is that those of us who smoke are just like human landfills full of toxic chemicals. Cravings are actually a good thing! It means that we are releasing our toxic chemicals and regaining our health. It’s our body’s way of telling us that it is healing.

In addition, when I think about all of the suffering that there is in this world, cravings are nothing in comparison. Think about those who are starving, homeless, or literally running for their lives. How about 3rd world countries, whose people live without electricity, sewers, water, proper nutrition, disease etc.? What about those young children who are witnessing war at their very own door steps or parent’s who are grieving for their lost children? What about the victims of natural disasters? How about those who walk around attached to an oxygen tank or who die within months of being diagnosed with lung cancer? What is a craving compared to that?

For the first three weeks I wore a rubber band. Initially I wore a small, wimpy one. Soon after, I traded it in for a thicker, sturdier one. I gave that hummer a pretty good snap when a craving hit. That snap reminded me that cravings don’t hurt and the rubber band gave me a good little stinging THWACCK back into reality.

No longer do I have to hide behind bushes, feel the embarrassment of smoking, smell like rotten stench, go way out of my way to plan my day around smoking, smell up my car, give off second hand smoke to innocent people and animals who happen to stand, sit or perch close by me, empty my wallet, yellow my fingernails and teeth and give myself a death sentence. When I was a teenager, I used to hang halfway out of my bedroom window to smoke, among many other sneaky tactics.

In addition, I am WORTHY of this and so are all of you! I’m not “trying to quit.” I am a non-smoker! The word ‘trying’ doesn’t usually lead to success. Rather than quitting, I am instead giving myself a healthy and longer life!

Have I sailed through this like a Schooner heeling over with full sails, a stiff breeze and no storms at break neck speed? Heck no! It’s been more like rowing a heavy wooden boat into a powerful, crashing surf. Once I got past the initial surf, it became easier. However, I still have to row up and over occasional waves, which can often rise up out of the blue. Once again, when I put it all into perspective, I have given so little time and effort, to get to where I am, in comparison to those 39 years that I smoked. Each day is different and a brand new beginning! Riding crave waves is all a part of the plan. After all, I only smoked 426,000 cigarettes or more. UGHHHHHHH…

I can’t thank you all enough for helping me to take my blinders off so that I could look square into the nicodmeon’s beady, little eyes and defy my addiction! You all ROCK and you KICK BUTT too!! This site is all about WE, not me. It truly works if you work it!! Your life is not worth risking, rather you are worthy of life!! Keep on keeping on!

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