Oh my, it's two weeks today -- WAHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! A small, yet huge milestone, which will lead to bigger ones with the passage of time! When I first stopped smoking, I felt like I was roaming around, blind and unconscious, on another planet. However, given a few days, I once again felt Earth's gravity slowly pulling me back to the real world!
I spent as much time as I could right here; reading posts, answering posts and most importantly reaching out for help. We are all in this together. Our experiences feed off of one another. The support here is immense! I did my best to laugh at how disconnected I felt. Early on a friend, Leslie, planted a seed, "Smoking is not an option!" That soon became my stout mental defense, which negated all of my conjured up head games and the insidious, irrational thoughts that invaded my mind. It still does!
I look at cravings as my body's way of releasing all the bad crap that I sucked down and put in it, with 39 years of denial. No longer could I think that smoking relieved my stress, gave me energy, relaxed me, etc. It's sort of an oxymoron if you look at it. It gave me energy but relaxed me? Hmm...not so sure that those two mental head games flow together that well! LOL! Let's get real here!
I switched things around and mixed them all up. Smoking outside was where you'd find me at least 20 times a day. Coffee in the morning, with birds chirping around me, my dog sniffing for yard intruders and the sunrise of a new day, was my forte and also my worst trigger. Diet coke was another huge trigger for me.
I have Epstein Barr Syndrome and Chronic Fatigue -- it's very much like Mononucleosis. Before I stopped, I convinced myself that I needed caffeine and cigarettes to keep me going. The truth of the matter was that both smoking and caffeine were making my condition worse. I had to take a good, long, hard look at that. It made no sense at all and I knew I had to stop.
Even my dog, "Stevey Wonder Dawg," tried telling me to stop smoking! He wouldn't sit next to me when I had a cigarette and I too, wouldn't get near him due to second hand smoke. It's pretty powerful when your dog lets you know that he hates your habit/addiction!! Stevey is a snuggle bug too!
Picture me kayaking with a cigarette hanging out of my mouth and smoke getting into my eyes as I paddled; been there done that too many times! LOL! Yet another contradiction. Nothing like ramming into the shore with old cigarette butts beneath your feet, with a putrid stench -- UGHHHHHHHHHH -- not the best image for someone who loves nature as I do!
Ali, a friend here does counseling for addicts. She told me that they put rubber bands on their wrists and snapped them whenever their urges cropped up. I started out with a little whimpy rubber band. Now I have a big fat one on. THWAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAACK! Ouch, that can hurt! I'm not into self destruction (I was when I was smoking), but I can tell you that if you give yourself a good hard snap, you'll realize that cravings really don't hurt. They are more annoying than anything! Thank you Ali!
Cinnamon sticks are awesome to inhale, 3 cups of green tea per day should increase your metabolism, 4 glucose tablets a day can raise your blood sugar (it drops when we stop smoking, therefore making our cravings worse), oranges are excellent for the vitamin C we need and the natural sugar inside, vitamin B complex 3 times a day for the first 3 days can help your metabolism (I'm no doctor -- you may want to pose that question to she/he), water helps to wash it away and can ease hunger pangs, a dab of baking soda will neutralize the taste in your mouth and does help with cravings, and breath mints do wonders too!
Our minds are more powerful than we give them credit for. We feed our subconscious with continuous denial everytime we smoke. Our subconscious knows no right or wrong; it just knows what we believe to be true. I've come to the conclusion that in order to be successful at this, I have to change my subconscious. How? I feed it good healthy thoughts now! I immediately cut off any irrational thoughts with "smoking is not an option."
NO = Not one
There is no such thing as one cigarette.
Smoking is not an option.
Stopping smoking won't kill me.
I am a happy, confident and relaxed non-smoker.
If you tell yourself you're going to try, you're basically giving yourself a loophole. Trying is not the same as doing. So, here's a new thought for you:
NIKE -- Just do it!!
It's awesome to have freedom from this addiction. No more insane mental thoughts like, "I'm trying," "God I really need a smoke," "This is driving me crazy," "No one will know if I just smoke one," "one cigarette won't hurt," "this is too hard," etc. Those thoughts used to whirl around my mind in an obssessive pattern every other time I quit. I don't have room or time for them now!! I'm not giving the nicodemon free rent space in my head!
Anger at others or stress can often cause a relapse. The fact is that we are the ones putting cigarettes in our mouths and lighting them up. No one else did that for us. Putting blame on other people or things, just rationalizes our own behaviour and makes us feel better when we cave. Then of course comes the guilt of being a loser, which further implants negativity in our heads. The key is not to think that you are a loser. It's better to look at the hows and whys of it all and start all over. This time around you will bee better equipped with even more right thinking. Stinking thinking will get you nowhere in life...
Helping others is one of the best things to do! Not only does it make you feel good, but it also deepens your own resolve. We all understand what its like to have cravings and how we as individuals get through them. The paybacks of helping others are so rewarding!! New people here need to know that what they are feeling is totally normal. They also need to know what the rest of us do to stay non-smokers. We is a whole lot better than me! We're not alone here! How beautiful is that?
I'm going to end this with one of my thoughts for the day:
Life has become a never ending circular flow for me. By following the traditions of Native American philosophy, I have come to recognize the values of circular momentum. After all, we live on a circular planet, gaze at a circular moon and circular, distant planets, as well as receive our precious light from a circular sun. What goes around comes around. If I put hard work, love, focus, determination, and positive action into my circle, I continue to feed it. It is then that I repeatedly reap the benefits of my circular momentum, which becomes my essence, my true inner being and my self-existence. Disturbances, some major and some minor, try their best to enter into my circle, only to interrupt my flow. However, it's entirely up to me to conquer those disturbances, in order to keep my circular momentum going. It is here, in my own unique and individual circle, where I find harmony. This balance is exactly what I need to continue my daily walk, as part of the continuous flow, in my individualistic journey through life.
Thanks to all of you for your encouragement, support, friendship, guidance and strength! I'm doing my best to "Pay it Forward!"
