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The Caravan

OldBones-Larry
11 16 194

Where did the caravan come from?
I came to this site when I was around 30 days into my quit. I was told that I was in the NML of my quit.
I already was experiencing the problems and temptations that everyone faces there. I was messaged by Ima Deer and told to follow the tracks. They were Gnu tracks I was told later.
I really felt that I was wandering deep in a desert.
To take my mind off of things, I began likening my journey as a caravan across the desert.
Nic was the evil villian that was trying to stop me from finishing my journey.
The Oasis stops were my time to rest and recover from what was happening.
I hit that point in time where a relapse was likely as the elders told me. One of them termed the spot as Relapse Rocks. I used that name to mark that point in the journey. I was experiencing a bout of depression right then and wanted to chuck my entire quit at that point.
I survived that and called that place Desolation Point deep in the Relapse Rocks.
The Old Goat was talked about high on the mountain at the end of my trek. I remembered a friend I had met years ago while driving a rig from coast to coast. I was told the goat lived high on the mountain. I took that mountain as the endpoint of the trek across the desert.
I kept that mountain in sight after I cleared Relapse Rocks and used it as the marker for my path.
After I cleared NML I climbed that mountain and entered the cave of the old goat. As my friend was a woman, I made the goat female.
She tasked me with guiding others on their journey through NML.
My mind was kept busy by doing this and it helped me to keep my quit.
The name for Desolation Point was inspired by something I saw scrawled on a wall. I was stuck on traffic, so I wrote it down. At the truck stop I stayed at that night, I asked about that area.
This will explain the history, and why I chose that name for the depression at that point in my journey. I have been prone to depressive episodes all my life.
To this day, I am saddened when I read this. I just found it stuck in the pages of one of my old road atlases.
_________________________________________________________________

Gone
I used to have money...
Gone!
I used to have a job...
Gone!
I used to have someone...
Gone!
I used to have health...
Gone!
I used to have passion...
Gone
I used to have love...
Gone!
I used to have love...
Gone!
I used to live...
Gone!
I have no money...
I have no job...
I have nobody...
I am sick and broken...
I am alone...
I am unloved...
I only exist...
I wish I was...
GONE!!!!

I!!
AM!!
GONE!!!!
Author unknown

Found on an underpass wall...
A body was found close by, the victim of a drop from the overpass. Police suspect it was a suicide.
There had been other bodies found in this area. Many of them were classed as suicide. Others were deemed as overdoses. All could have written these words.
Which one had written them?
That piece of information was taken to the grave by the tortured soul that wrote these sad and tortured words.
May their souls find that peace......
_____________________________________
This is the reason for Desolation Point. I really hope nobody reaches this point in their life while trying to straighten out their life by quitting an addiction.
Ask for help and take your journey as you need to.
One step, and then another, will get you to where you want to be.
Larry the Caravan Master

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About the Author
I am a male that underwent coronary artery bypass X3 (triple) on 10/22/13 at the age of 55. I was living on about 20-30% of one coronary artery and my left heart output was only 20% to 25%. I spent a week in the hospital after surgery and went home. Then had to go back a day later for another week because I had pneumonia. Finally a few days because of a slight arythmia. All told it has been about 2 1/2 weeks. I am past the cravings by now and only have the urges to contend with. I really don't suggest that anyone quits smoking using this technique though. I'll have to carry the scars from that day for the rest of my life. The large one down the center of my chest, and the ones from several "silent" infarctions. I came that close to the next world. Never again will I subject my body to that (at one point in my life I was smoking 5 packs of cigarillos a day). I now have to say N.O.P.E. (Not One Puff Ever) every day of my life. TheOldGoat-Joan, I miss you terribly my friend. Elder Lists Guilia's: (/blogs/Giulia-blog/2017/06/18/elders-list-ao-december-7-2016 ) or Smorgy's (Chronological Elder List)