nicool

Breaking up is hard to do

Blog Post created by nicool on May 8, 2013

It is official. My dorkmate (boyfriend in layman's terms) told me he needs space so I told him he can have a lifetime's worth. The relationship has been pretty rocky for a long time and now it is finally over. I broke up with him and I am going to do it without a cigarette. Healing happens over time and it's only encumbered by my old friend camel.

How much stress was I actually causing myself with that draw from the addiction? I guess I will never know until I have gotten past the point of cravings. I am feeling kind of like a super hero. I am going through an extremely intensive, stressful program of study, I kicked the butt and kicked my boyfriend to the curb all at the same time. What's next? Saving the planet? I was already feeling lonely in the relationship and I know that will be compounded so I am going to need to really be careful during this time. I might want to give myself permission to visit with my old friend.

I feel sort of exhilarated and sad and horribly depressed all at the same time. How is all that possible?

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