mrios5776

Random Thoughts 5/3/2018

Blog Post created by mrios5776 on May 3, 2019

 I am a very shy person almost to the point of being obsessive about it. Please be patient about this as I will explain. I have been coming to this site on and off for about 4 or 5 years now. I have had 2 quits since I first joined the ex site. My first quit started on April 2,2014 or 2015 I cannot recall the year but I do remember the date; it was my Father's Birthday and I was quitting to honor his wish I quit smoking.My dad who I loved and admired with all my heart had been a hardcore smoker since he was eight years old in 1940.He quit a 3 or 4 pack habit in 1988 cold turkey, I was amazed and so proud of him.From the time he quit to his death in December 2017 he was constantly encouraging me to quit; not in a demanding way that fathers can be but in a gentle "I love you and don't want to see harm come to you" kind of way.

 As a young man growing in the late sixties and seventies I resisted all of my parents suggestions as archaic and foolish.What I later learned was how profound and cherished their wisdom was and still is (My mother still lives may God always bless her).I took my dads' suggestions to heart and started formulating a plan I executed on his birthday. I was smoke free til August of that year. I failed and it shook me but it did not defeat my resolve.

As a lurker (being a shy soul and very ashamed of my failure) I continued on the site reading blogs and educational articles, reading success and failure in many many blogs. I quit again August 13, 2018 and N.O.P.E. forever. When I quit  the first time and even this second time I was not coming on the site as frequently as I find myself coming now.I come on here almost daily now.What I am reading on blogs and articles is a shift in attitude, people are coming forward with their failures and being open and candid. I find that courageous! And for the elders they give words of encouragement; explaining they too have failed in the past and I find that courageous! For me personally to be accepted a second time has encouraged me to come out of my shell and say "You can fail it is O.K. we know you are trying and someday your resolve will overcome!"

Take a deep breath! Fell that freedom?!

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