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mrios5776 Blog

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mrios5776

Random Thoughts 5/24/2019

Posted by mrios5776 May 24, 2019

James Taylor once sang "Shower the people you love with love, show them the way you feel".Reading the blogs, I have read of the loss of loved ones. To my EX friends, my most sincere condolences on your losses. The expression of loss can be felt by us all in the sense of having a memory of someone close to you go on a new journey. With Memorial Day weekend upon us it is a time to reflect on those loved ones: military or non military.

I lost a brother-in-law years ago who was a Vietnam vet; Monday I will go with my sister to tend his garden and to thank him and all the other men and women, living and gone who sacrificed so much to give us the freedoms we have today. A good time to "Shower the people you love with love, show them the way you feel."

May you all have a wonderful, wonderful weekend.

mrios5776

Random Thoughts 5/17/2019

Posted by mrios5776 May 17, 2019

Several years ago I took up gardening. I did it for my wife as a Mothers Day gift. And slowly but surely the bug hit me. I have been caring for the atrium plants in our office for many years now but never really thought about it as gardening. More as something to check off my work list.The gardening at home though that was different, I was doing it for someone I love very much. 

 And to start with small vegetable plants and watch them grow over  a season is so cool! Not only are you responsible for their well being, you also get the fruits of your labor. The loss of a plant can be so heartbreaking but the growth of a plant can make you feel so proud! 

Gardening is very much like life. We plant ourselves, take what nutrition, water and light nature provides for us and watch ourselves grow! The growth in us is only "limited" by our thoughts or attitudes. We care for our plants; on this site we care for each other; What a wonderful way to grow our garden! Take a deep deep breath, exhale, read a blog, read comments, watch the garden grow!

mrios5776

Random Thoughts 5/3/2018

Posted by mrios5776 May 3, 2019

 I am a very shy person almost to the point of being obsessive about it. Please be patient about this as I will explain. I have been coming to this site on and off for about 4 or 5 years now. I have had 2 quits since I first joined the ex site. My first quit started on April 2,2014 or 2015 I cannot recall the year but I do remember the date; it was my Father's Birthday and I was quitting to honor his wish I quit smoking.My dad who I loved and admired with all my heart had been a hardcore smoker since he was eight years old in 1940.He quit a 3 or 4 pack habit in 1988 cold turkey, I was amazed and so proud of him.From the time he quit to his death in December 2017 he was constantly encouraging me to quit; not in a demanding way that fathers can be but in a gentle "I love you and don't want to see harm come to you" kind of way.

 As a young man growing in the late sixties and seventies I resisted all of my parents suggestions as archaic and foolish.What I later learned was how profound and cherished their wisdom was and still is (My mother still lives may God always bless her).I took my dads' suggestions to heart and started formulating a plan I executed on his birthday. I was smoke free til August of that year. I failed and it shook me but it did not defeat my resolve.

As a lurker (being a shy soul and very ashamed of my failure) I continued on the site reading blogs and educational articles, reading success and failure in many many blogs. I quit again August 13, 2018 and N.O.P.E. forever. When I quit  the first time and even this second time I was not coming on the site as frequently as I find myself coming now.I come on here almost daily now.What I am reading on blogs and articles is a shift in attitude, people are coming forward with their failures and being open and candid. I find that courageous! And for the elders they give words of encouragement; explaining they too have failed in the past and I find that courageous! For me personally to be accepted a second time has encouraged me to come out of my shell and say "You can fail it is O.K. we know you are trying and someday your resolve will overcome!"

Take a deep breath! Fell that freedom?!

mrios5776

Random Thoughts 4/29/2019

Posted by mrios5776 Apr 29, 2019

Random thoughts on a blue Monday. I come here to strengthen my quit. To learn from others as they promote their freedom from nicotine. I would have said cigarettes but from what I have read from other bloggers is that vaping is starting to become as dangerous as smoking. A discussion for another time.

 I have times where I need the strength and wisdom of others to N.O.P.E!!!!!!! This site has been a gift to me . This is my man cave if you will. My own personal village. I can come here and read what other people are going through. I can express feelings with no judgement or repercussions for what I am going through or my humble opinions. 

If I have learned any one thing from all the blogs on this site it is this; use your new found freedom to improve yourself a little each day. Small things. Saying good morning to someone. A smile. These are gifts which can be given freely and may not seem like much to you but could mean the world to the person you gift them to. Is this an improvement? To me it is a start.

Many people start smoking for different reasons. Many quit and quit again. For those who have tried and failed. I commend you for coming on here and admitting you failed! That takes some courage not all of us have. I have quit so many times I resigned myself I would be a smoker until I died. I got lucky and managed a quit I feel will be my forever quit. If you fail do not be afraid to admit you are a failure. I did not do that and I so wished I could have! I failed and disappeared from the blogs. I was so ashamed of myself. I spent my entire life trying and learning to be succesful it was difficult for me to admit failure. So I went underground, I stayed on ex but did not comment, I lurked, an electronic Quazimodo if you will. Reading and reading and learning a little some thing new in each and every blog and each and every person. So when I did quit it was with knowledge and resolve to not ever smoke again!

mrios5776

A moment of thought

Posted by mrios5776 Apr 18, 2019

I was on the phone with a member of the family when I told them I get tied up in my own little world I some times forget there are other people in this world who have problems a lot bigger than mine. So a little prayer; "Lord teach me to be humble, to extend a helping hand whether or not it is asked for.Lord teach me wisdom and the wisdom to know when to dispense it. Give me the vision with which you see so much good and kindness in others. Lord give me the words to share the feelings I have for my fellow man and woman, let us learn to forgive those who do not believe in you as I do.  Lord give us all the gift of compassion to give us hope that some day they see the light as I do;Let us all learn to smile with one another even when smiling can be difficult.Lord grant thanks and peace to those all over the world who protect our rights to worship you as we see fit. In your name Lord God, AMEN.

I am  not a strong religious person, my own personal belief is God does exist and he is there when you need him. I am not trying to create a debate I am merely expressing thoughts I personally needed to get out of my system.

mrios5776

What a Way to Wake Up!

Posted by mrios5776 Apr 15, 2019

I woke up and went downstairs to let the cats out. when I opened the door I was greeted by a very bright sun with a cool breeze, birds chirping, trees rustling; I took a deep breathe and thanked god for all the blessings he has given me! Man!! What a way to wake up!

mrios5776

What a Beautiful Monday!

Posted by mrios5776 Apr 15, 2019

 

I would get ready for work in the morning by smoking a cigarette while showering, which when you think about it is very hard to do. I would put gas in my lawnmower, you guessed it!, while smoking! (that one is downright STUPID!!!). Please feel free to add your goofy smoking moments.

I had  an urge to smoke this morning and I found it both funny and serious. Funny you can go six months without touching a cigarette and serious that you can go six months without touching a cigarette and still get the urge! Goes to show how powerful nicotine and all the other chemicals that go into tobacco products today can be mentally and physically.NOPE, NOPE and NOPE!

mrios5776

Altoids to the Rescue!

Posted by mrios5776 Dec 6, 2018

Clean, fresh, minty breath. That was not my intent when I bought those Altoids back in August. I was trying to keep my sanity and not go berzerk on my family members and fellow co workers while trying to quit smoking. Something to keep my mouth busy while I questioned myself about why I was quitting something I had grown so resentful of doing.Silently crying about something I decided to do spur of the moment but had been screwing up the courage to do for months. Was I crazy?I wanted to quit but I was dreading all the mental and physical anguish I would be putting myself through. 

A stop at the local gas station, spotting the blue and silver tin can that held the key to my smokeless salvation!

And so it began! Feel the urge to smoke? Take an Altoid or three! Craving gone and fresh breath! What a trade off!I went from smoking 1-2 packs of cigarettes a day to chewing through a can of Altoids a day for about three weeks.

 By the end of the first month I was still getting nicotine withdrawal attacks but not as severe  and my Altoid consumption had gone down quite a bit. What a relief! I was concerned I might o back to smoking and still be chewing Altoids too. Replacing one really nasty bad habit for two.

Well the Altoids are still here playing a less significant roll by the day and the cigarettes are ALL GONE! Month four will be December thirteenth and I am excited!

mrios5776

I try to keep up

Posted by mrios5776 Nov 29, 2018

Holidays are a stress trigger for me. So when I get over stressed I come to the site to see what everyone else is going through. I try to come here every day, not so much to comment, just to read and think where I am in relation to what someone else is doing or not doing in their quit. I find the commonality of our addiction to be a sort of bond and we all feel compassion for one another as we cope with our everyday lives of going smoke free.

 For those who have smoked after they set their quit date. Everyone here understands fully what you are going through. Stay on this web site! Believe me you are going to find many more people just like you who have failed (myself included multiple times). DO NOT GIVE UP ON YOURSELF! It is not the act of quitting that is difficult, it is the act of starting and the dread of what you are going to experience when you do quit! Yes it sucks! You take it one day at a time. We are all here for you. The important thing to remember is if you fail, keep trying! When you resign yourself to not being able to stop you will be at the lowest of lows, I and many others on this site have been there too. At some point in time with enough educating and just plain stubbornness you will gather the courage to quit and succeed. 

 To those who have succeeded in quitting and staying quit for years GIVE YOURSELF A PAT ON THE BACK! you are the inspiration for the rest of us! To know there are people who can remain quit for years is inspiring! Do know everyday can be the day you say to yourself "Well I have been quit this long one cigarette won't do any harm. I once quit for two years and had that same thought. That was 1989. It has taken me this long to get back to my quit along with many failures in the past.

Quitting is easy! I have done it many times. The last two times have been with the help of this web site and thank Goodness it is here!

 November 13 was ninety days quit. And the special thing about it was I did not notice til now. The day came and went. I went about a usual day doing normal stuff not thinking about smoking or wanting a cigarette!What a FREE FEELING! Having quit on the spur of the moment, a good rash decision (ha ha), I had no confidence I would get to a point where I would not be thinking about withdrawals and how bad I felt while I was going through the quit process. It has been difficult for me as my wife continues to smoke in the house. She has offered many times to step outside but I do not feel that is right. She works very hard at her job and comes home completely exhausted. I understand wanting to flop on the couch, turn on the tube, kick off the shoes,light a cigarette and decompress. And she is entitled to that.

 She is also the reason I came here to write today. My beautiful wife is an angel on earth, so loving and caring of others. She really never thinks of herself or what she means to other people in her life, especially me.She indicated this morning she wants to try and quit. I recommended coming to the EX site explaining how much information and emotional support she would receive here. I pray she will come to this site and start her journey. If you happen to read this please say a little prayer for her and the the big non smoker in the sky to give her a little nudge this way.

mrios5776

mrios5776 Archived Profile

Posted by mrios5776 Jan 23, 2017

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