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Smoking Wore Her Out And Took Her Life!

JonesCarpeDiem
4 9 102

      I met her on Quitnet about the 5th month of my quit.  We realized we were only 40 miles apart and decided to meet. Soon we would get together every Sunday and go out to eat and drink. She was a live in caregiver and only had Sunday's off and my wife was in Michigan taking care of her parents failing health.

      Twinda and I became GREAT FRIENDS. I called her Twinda because we were both twins and both she and my wife's name was Linda. There were no pretenses. It wasn't a romance but a deep friendship. We had wonderful times. Before she moved up North she finally had her own place and she was so happy to have a place of her own. I would drive out there every other weekend. She moved up North with her daughter, then back to the Hollywood Hills. In 2011, I moved South to Oceanside and she went back up to Fresno. That was the last time we saw one another.

I took this picture of her in a military surplus store in Culver City.

Surplus.jpg

      She had quit for 5 years. Then moved back in with a person she had once cared for. The first night her friend offered her a glass of wine and set a cigarette in front of her, she went for it.  After a year or two, her friend had to have her leg removed due to a lack of oxygen from smoking. After 4 months in a rehab facility her friend came home a non smoker. Twinda, however, continued to smoke. 

      She got stage 4 COPD and was on oxygen. 

   I think the damage may worsen if you've quit for a long time and go back because your body is no longer used to smoking. The decline goes into a rapid mode. 

Today is the second time it would have been her birthday since she passed.

(April 19th 1918)

A Tribute To Twinda (she passed yesterday)
We met on a quit smoking site
And we became friends messaging one night
Shared humor was our best ally
Soon after a client she cared for had died

Her humor was so much like mine
sort of coarse and unrefined
her heart had aged like fine wine
And she, she was a friend of mine.

She was a friend of mine
We leaned on each other from time to time
And now that she's gone I'll remember with love
That she was a friend of mine

Her Sundays were her one day off
We both looked forward to those a lot
She would drive the 40 miles each way
And we'd go out together and laugh all day.

She'd give you the shirt off her back
a generous soul you could never pay back
Her laugh and smile always filled the room
Those who knew her laughed with her too

She was a friend of mine
We planned to meet one more time
We were making plans right to the end
Yes, A plan to get together again

She was a friend of mine
She moved before her health declined
But I'm sure that we'll meet again
And next time, it will never end

She was a friend of mine
We leaned on each other from time to time
And now that she's gone I'll remember with love
That she was a friend of mine

30739976_10155756267746973_9117110416233130948_n.jpg

til we meet again.jpg

9 Comments
About the Author
Hello, My name is Dale. I was quit 18 months before joining this site and had participated on another site during that time. I learned a lot there and brought it with me. I joined this site the first week of August 2008. I didn't pressure myself to quit. HOW I QUIT I didn't count, I didn't deny myself to get started. When I considered quitting (at a friends request to influence his brother to quit), I simply told myself to wait a little longer. No denial, nothing painful. After 4 weeks I was down to 5 cigarettes from a pack a day. The strength came from proving to myself, I didn't need to smoke because I normally would have smoked. Simple yes? I bought the patch. I forgot to put one on on the 4th day. I needed it the next day but the following week I forgot two days in a row I put one in my wallet with a promise to myself that I would slap it on and wait an hour rather than smoke. It rode in my wallet my first year.There's nothing keeping any of you from doing this. It doesn't cost a dime. This is about unlearning something you've done for a long time. The nicotine isn't the hard part. Disconnecting from the psychological pull, the memories and connected emotions is. :-) Time is the healer.