"Have you ever been having a bad day and all of a sudden someone around you laughs or they tell a joke and you start laughing and you feel better? I believe we have hormones in our body that when they are used in a good way make us feel great, but when we use them in a bad way then it makes us feel horrible.
For example, eating lots of chocolate can trigger what I call the "happy hormones", but the problem is when you don't have the chocolate your body will keep wanting it over and over again because it's looking for those happy hormones that eventually run out.
If you do something to trigger the "happy hormone" such as exercise or eat something healthy that you really enjoy, then I believe you'll feel better! Next time you want something that is not healthy, just think about how you want to feel afterwards. That always helps me! "
I had my upper endoscopy and a colonoscopy a week ago and they took a bunch of biopsies. He was concerned about a flat lesion in my colon and mentioned the C word.
I got a message yesterday morning to check the portal for a new result.
I didn't want to know so I put off opening it until this morning. It was just a blood glucose result.
This waiting can be unnerving because your near future plans could be turned upside down. I ordered tile for our shower yesterday and it won't be in for a week. As, I'm doing the install, if he wants me in for surgery immediately and there's a recovery period, those plans are delayed and due to extenuating circumstances, the work has to be completed by August 6.
One of those two scenarios is going to happen. Surgery or tile.
The good news is my upper endoscopy showed NO HIGH GRADE DISPLASIA for the first time in 5 years.
You have to realize when I met with the Dr. the first time, he wanted to remove my esophagus. He's been cutting and burning bad areas of my esophagus every 4 months since that time, so, we've come a long way.
The bad news is, that lesion in my colon is at the same stage my esophagus was at the beginning.
He wants me to meet with a surgeon to discuss the complexity of the surgery, get a cat scan, and circle back to him.
In 2014, I went to the store and my favorite body wash was no longer being sold. I soon found I couldn't find it anywhere locally. I went online and ordered 14 bottles so I could get the free shipping.
Well now it's RARE and going for $25-$30 a bottle plus shipping on ebay.
SCORE I'll find another body wash.
6 Communications with the seller (ebay cut off our communications after those 6)
2 long calls to ebay
5 MORE communications with the buyer with him wanting to add 5 more bottles after buying one, I still couldn't get it done.
BUT I THINK I JUST DID, THIRD LONG PHONE CALL....
This IS the type of frustration that most of us will experience when we quit smoking. There will be trying times like this and, there will be the emotionaltimes.
I worked two days straight and, now I need 4 days off
Monday is colon prep day. I think I'll take that one off.
Meanwhile, my 93 year old dad just left a wet spot on the driveway.
He brought both cars over to wash for church. Some things will go on until he's gone.
You know what I noticed watching him on the security camera?
He looks down a lot.. I realize he does it so he won't fall down.
I've been remodeling the bathroom for a week+.
I re-bolted the floor ledger to the foundation and beefed up the framing around and underneath where the stacking laundry sits because we think the weight and 30 years of vibration is what caused the floor to drop. Then after screwing the floor back down, I layed 1/4" underlayment over the old vinyl where I'd cut open the floor to work so the lines would not telegraph through the new flooring. I layed the room out from the door opening so their wouldn't be a seam to walk on.
Don't tell anybody but I actually had to drive back to the store where I bought a narrow crown air stapler because "my staples didn't fit." I was getting upset and wondering if I had to buy proprietary nails and could only buy them at that one store, so, I take the gun back to the store and the young manager girl shows me the problem,. The staples don't ride on anything until you push the plunger in. DUH! I have at least 5 nailguns and the nails always ride in a track and are loaded from the top. You pull back the plunger, load the nails, and slide the track back in.
Here's the big finish. Getting enough of the new tile glued down so we have a toilet.
Again, I'm keying layout off the door opening because I want full tiles in the opening. I figured out where we needed the tiles, dry fitted everything, and glued them down. When we set the toilet a few hours later, we couldn't help but step on them. They slid, oh did they slide, and that mastic was all over our bare feet like a curse from God.
Anyway, the curse jumped on my shirt and I had to throw it away. You don't keep THAT curse from God.
I rested all yesterday from the two days before
Back to the line
I went in to see the mess this morning to figure a plan of attack to finish the tile on the floor and it hit me. I needed to make a line that was straight and true to what I'd already done. I made the line and got so dizzy that, I'm taking another day off.
I slept 6 hours last night and took a 4 hour nap just now.
What does this have to do with quitting smoking?
Sometimes you have to reorient yourself during your quit. Sometimes you need to find the line again. You need to think of working at your quit as your purpose.
It's okay to look down to stabilize yourself. my dad does.
I know if I chose to smoke, I would be a smoker again.
How do I know that?
Because I would have had to give myself permission in order to smoke. Permission once given is a hard thing to put back in the box so, I probably wouldn't quit immediately.
Does it scare me to know I could be a smoker again?
I don't really think about it. (yes I know most do in the beginning)
Here's the thing. You can turn that urge into a positive reminder of where you're going by choosing to. You can laugh when you get a craving. There's nothing better than a laugh as a reminder you've quit smoking. I learned that on my third morning. I started laughing every time I got the thought of smoking. In a week I was thinking of laughing, not smoking.
So no, it doesn't scare me to know I could be a smoker again because, I'd have to consider smoking before I gave myself permission to smoke.
I just don't consider smoking. That's my secret.
There is no fight if you don't allow yourself to consider smoking.