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All People > jonescarp.aka.dale.Jan_2007 > jonescarp.aka.dale.Jan_2007 Blog > 2019 > March

(What you think of yourself matters more)

Than what others think of you.

We create our moral compass.

We don't do that by accepting what others say as the whole truth.

We each learn and form our own truth.


Self love

Some people try to convince us any consideration of loving ourselves is narcissistic.

Is knowing right from wrong narcissistic?

Is doing the right thing narcissistic?

Could self love really just be acceptance of ones own truth?

Could self love simply be not berating ourselves?


We are what we think.


When we stop living to impress others, we can live freely.

When we learn to live for ourselves we can enjoy living.


Don't conflate enjoying life with being selfish or narcissistic.

It doesn't involve separating ourselves from others. 

It means putting a smile on your face

because you are in charge and you can choose to be happy.



Posted by jonescarp.aka.dale.Jan_2007 Mar 31, 2019

Put The Brakes On!

You're the one talking yourself into smoking

You're the one saying "one won't hurt."

You're the one planting the seed and watering it.



Say "I don't do that anymore."

Say "It will get better."

Say "Time is the healer."

      I've seen a great many people who come here say, "I love smoking."

Imagine if there was no nicotine


Take nicotine out of smoking and what do you have?


  • A cloud of stink following you everywhere.
  • Holes in your clothes
  • The guilt/shame of sneaking around and keeping your distance to avoid confrontation.
  • The cough, 
  • the cost, 
  • the living lost.



The sooner you realize you actually loved nicotine and not smoking,

the sooner you will feel free to let go of the ritual.

1.  I didn't know________________________________


In the beginning


2.  In the first 3 weeks___________________________________


3.  Looking back, when I first quit I often felt___________________________________


On the journey


4.  What's really saved me in this quit has been ___________________________________________


5.  I had to laugh when__________________________________________


6.  I think every new quitter should know this__________________________________________


Don't be blinded by the desire for a

f*****g cigarette.

They're there

to KillYa


Life happens.

It can mean everything or nothing depending on how you process it.


      I was making some hanging inner door shelves for some large glass bottles of coffee flavorings this morning. (It was 8:30, neighbors be darned.    )

      I used to be able to buy just one type/flavor but they stopped selling that flavor in my area and now shipping costs as much as each bottle so, I'm blending my own.


      I blend two flavors to taste and put into two pint bottles once a month so I don't want the large glass bottles in my way the other 48,790 minutes of the month.


      I didn't get to the store so I was making due with the materials I had here

      Being that I'm a carpenter, it takes me longer to run a cord and set up the saw than the actual dozen pieces take to cut. I was limited by the length of one of the leftovers so I make one unit a inch less than the other two.

The last cut was figured so close, it kicked the staple and store tag out the end.

      When I was sweeping up, I found it, with my foot.

      Everything was going well right up to the end.


Don't let one bad moment ruin your quit

You can talk yourself out of it.

If you do something often and long enough, it becomes automatic.

Add a drug or dopamine release to that and it becomes an addiction.

Get rid of the drug and it's easier to unlearn the automatic behavior.

You have everything you need to do it.

      We live three miles from the ocean on top of a steep hill.

There is a canyon right behind our house and a valley at each end of that canyon.

Our municipal airport is in that valley and they have a skydiving business.

(Boy, couldn't we have some fun at an eX reunion?)


They typically jump on the weekends, probably close to twice an hour during peak, but, any clear weekday, it's not surprising to see one or two jumps.



      You'll hear the plane before you see it. I sometimes spot it just before they jump. It looks very tiny and so, is very hard to find with the camera.

This was it yesterday with the telephoto lens full out.

If you draw a visual line from the plane to the lower right corner,

you can see a jumper's pilot chute before their main chute has opened.


You'll hear the crack of the chutes opening long before you see the jumpers.

But gravity is a pretty darn sure thing and soon, you see 7 or 8 of them

circling in the sky.

(all of that circling time is them "enjoying the ride.")

Think of this as your quit.

Let us be your gravity

Your willingness to not fight yourself

will bring your success so, why not enjoy the ride?

Trust yourself. It'll all work out

All's well that ends well

I didn't even see the hummingbird when I took the shot.

That is how instantaneous life happens.

Now, think of all the "moments" we missed to go smoke.

I don't do that anymore

      If I'm grilling chicken and and I bring it to the table only to find it's underdone, I have to put it back on the fire. Have you had this happen to you?


      I find a striking similarity to an undecided/unprepared quit. It keeps going back on the fire.


      If you plan your course well, (as in baking your chicken before you grill it), your outcome becomes foolproof!


Plan your quit to win

      Find things you know will distract you when you get a craving.

      (Positive self talk rather than talking yourself into smoking. Bite into a lemon,       skin and all. Stick your head in the freezer and count backwards from 20.)

      Find something that gives you a dopamine release to replace what nicotine       gave you. (exercise, music, chocolate, hobby, volunteering)

      Plan to allow the time it's going to take.

      You don't believe a chicken thigh will cook in two minutes do you? 

      Know it will get better. When you break your arm, it doesn't heal in a week.

      It's gradual, but, it happens.

      Let it happen



Posted by jonescarp.aka.dale.Jan_2007 Mar 21, 2019

but, they also allow people to shoot up and **** on their sidewalks.

Do you think vapers are going to allow this to happen?

Personally, I'm against it. I believe when you start banning one thing, it becomes easy to ban another, then, who decides what's allowed?

Your Ex Best Friend 

The End

      "When you take time to think things through, you’re less likely to make emotional decisions."

      "When you’re decisive, you make a decision and stick to it—which is ultimately how we achieve our goals."





      I believe this applies to smoking after you've quit.

      Stop arguing with yourself and think  through the repercussions of letting yourself down, before you smoke.

      Telling yourself you can quit again is a negative proposition.

      How long is it going to be before you quit again?

      Didn't think that far ahead yet?


Reality vs Intentionality?


      How many times has this happened before?

      Get real. Be honest with yourself. 


Don't Panic

You're in control.

Don't be askeered

Go with the flow.


That's what life's about.

If we knew everything that could happen

life wouldn't be nearly as exciting.


Look at the whole life you'll have as a non smoker

No more runs to the store so you don't run out the next day.

No more excusing yourself to go smoke.


A better quality of life.

Even if we pay a price with our health,

It is likely lessened the sooner one quits.


Personally, I wouldn't want to die with a cigarette in my mouth.

If you quit you win because you weren't smoking's slave at the end.


You can't buy self esteem, you have to give it to yourself and there's no better way than quitting smoking to boost how you see life and yourself.


It's a second chance

Smoking gave you dopamine

Music gives you dopamine


I played guitar at a friends house 10 hours a day the first two weeks of my quit.


Playing an instrument has your brain firing on all cylinders. Listening to music affects emotions which also stimulates dopamine release.


"The emotional climax of a song was not actually the part responsible for musical frisson; it seems the anticipation of emotional release during the tension-building moments matters just as much as the eventual resolution in giving us that tingling feeling."

(This works the same way with food. Thinking about food you want to have releases dopamine BEFORE YOU ACTUALLY EAT THE FOOD)

Think about that.

A happier person could be the new non smoking you!


Everyone wants to be happy.

Wouldn't a better attitude make you a happier person?

Rather than look at the negative things in your life and world,

a smile focus's your being on better things. 


A smile is an attitude.

A smile indicates friendliness

A smile indicates approachability

A smile is welcoming

(Don't worry about your teeth

I too have missing teeth)


When a smile leads your outlook

Life becomes a happier place

      You don't let situations "sneak up on you" until you've been quit for awhile.

Remember how we used to consider where we would be able to smoke in a new situation? You to turn that around and consider what might happen in a situation that would influence you to smoke. If your resolve is yet not solid, you avoid those situations for awhile.


      Living free takes a little sacrifice but, not as much as you fear.

This is gradual


      Life is just as much fun as a non smoker. Smoking was a lie.

The reason people thought smokers were more fun loving is because they had smoking in common. Addicts hang together to excuse one another.

possibly an hour or two


I had three bad days in a row myself

where I didn't know if I'd get through

But, I didn't fail my quit with talk

who else is going to do it for you?





We're the one's who talk

We're the one's we mumble to

We're the one's we hear

So, be careful with the words you choose


here's a sample 

"I don't do that anymore."

Say it when you think of smoking

"I don't do that anymore."

It restrains your mind and motive.

Is paid in our future.

Keep That In Mind Every Day Of Your Quit.


It's negative thinking, that makes people lose their quit.


Dwelling on something you can't have.

How does that help you in any ******* way?

~Quitting is a choice not a punishment~

Almost 70 Percent of Smokers Want to Quit, But Few Do 

Most Smokers Wish They Could Quit 

Why only 6%? 

Because the others didn't grasp how to quit!

They spent their time wishing they could smoke

instead of becoming more involved with life, and

changing their routine, thereby, breaking their

associations to smoking*



Wanting 10 million dollars doesn't place it in your account.

You actually have to put your time into something to earn it.


Quitting is no different.

The time you put into unlearning smoking

by making new memories without smoking

becomes the freedom you put between slavery

and you.


*This isn't rocket science and it doesn't have to be painful.

Read those red letters again.

Isn't that why many people say they failed at quitting?

"I guess I just didn't have enough willpower"

Here's an addiction specialist's take on the concept of willpower.

Against Willpower - Nautilus - Pocket 


This is why I always say, When it comes to quitting smoking it's

"Willingness NOT Willpower" that will keep you sane.

Willingness means you are not fighting yourself

Willingness means you are working with yourself.

Was smoking your life?

I bet you didn't think so.

Just how much control do you think it had?



20 times a day

[smoke thought]

work a bit

[smoke thought]

[smoke thought]

work a bit

[smoke thought]

[smoke thought]

[where can I smoke]

[I need a smoke]

[do I need to let someone know I'm taking a break?]

I can't wait any longer

this is stressing me out.


In between smokes you are subconsciously thinking of smoking again


20 times a day

You're not going to get there any faster.

It's not a competition.

You don't outrun smoking.

You need to unlearn it, not outrace it.

Time is the healer.


[It's natural to want to feel good. Who want's to feel bad?]

It's why we smoked


In the cloud

Something that's endless

Because we're contented

With our little circle 

Of stress and forgiveness



we keep seeking it

in things we do

that keep us satisfied

and get us through

That's us.

We are here to deliver the knowledge and

confidence you can use to quit smoking.

Ask Us. Use Us.

That's why we come back every day.

But, you can't fool your nicotine receptors.

One puff and they know.

Two puffs and they know more

Any puffs

And you've opened the door!

Keep them away from your face

Keep them out of your space.


I logged onto my Discover account today and was notified I was in Australia.  

Who Gnu?

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