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All People > jonescarp.aka.dale.Jan_2007 > jonescarp.aka.dale.Jan_2007 Blog > 2019 > January

Carried a grudge for 30 days short of 5 years along with the guilt of deleting others comments.

What a guy!

you just have to catch yourself when you think of smoking.

Just catching yourself stops the progression of thought and action.


This hit me the third morning of my quit. "A HA you didn't get me!"

It made me realize smoking was a choice, a decision and not something I had to follow through on.


You weren't missing smoking before you were a smoker

It's unlearnable and it's unlearnable easily if you just stop and think before you would've automatically acted.


Smoking becomes reflex, ritual, routine, and repetition as much or more than the physical addiction.


Stop telling yourself a dog can't learn new tricks and start unlearning smoking.

Expectations: It ISN'T what I expected, but, I tried.

(My dad points to my happiness as a gift-I think it's the ability to enjoy each day)


Expectations are why so many marriages fail.

Expectations are why 94% of quitters don't make it a year smoke free.


We must flow with life NOT KNOWING THE OUTCOME.

Isn't that what makes life difficult? Hardships and wondering when they will end? Not knowing why someone's life was taken unexpectedly?  Being stuck on the side of the road with a mechanical failure wishing you had roadside assistance insurance and wondering how much the mechanic is going to charge?


unknowns and uncertainties are what frighten us.


The good news is if you accept life as it happens, there is no need to fear it.

No need to be unhappy or worried about the other shoe dropping.




You can be happy, but, you must allow it.

You can quit smoking, but, you must allow it.


The only outcome without strings is one you pay for with cash.





What expectations did you have of quitting?

You're going to feel off balance

just wanky occasional days

It's not like you're plagued with Meniere's Disease

It's something you unlearn away


So try to develop your talents

Don't overeat smoking away

And one bad day out of a dozen

Is not a too huge price to pay


(the Brady Bunch, The Brady Bunch)     


Keep walking and doing self talking

Say "I don't do that anymore"

Just listen and say it again each time

And you'll walk away from not toward


Relax, you can stop all the fighting

You're only just fighting yourself

There's nobody else forcing you to smoke

So settle down, time is the cure.

You begin to enjoy your freedom from smoking is where.

You stop thinking  of where you're going to be able to smoke is where.

You stop wasting money on something that's killing you is where.

You find the you that is not an addict is where.

You begin halting the damage you were doing to your body is where.

You take a vacation is where.

You buy a car or something else that doesn't smell of stale cigarettes.


Enjoy the journey

Your new life is waiting

Do the 94% of quitters who don't last for a year believe they can't live without smoking?

the belief you need to smoke

isn't there at birth

or in the years you smoke

the belief you need to smoke

shows up when you consider quitting


all that time in between

all those years a smoker

there was no fear

there was no doubt

it became natural 

to pull one out

there was no thought

of quitting then

as we lit up

again and again



isn't believing you need to smoke more about doubting you can quit?

Some things work and some things don't.

Most people don't drive with their tongue.

(They've probably devised a way for a disabled person to "tongue drive." )


Many people don't drive with their mind.    (Because it's on their phone)


We don't want you to get distracted.


We know a paper bag on your head won't keep you from smoking because,



We're here for you

to pay attention to

the things that work

so you don't jerk

and break your quit

but find success

so you let go,


We can be deceived, and we can deceive ourselves.

      This picture is from the Tuolumne Meadows area high above the valley floor. The river looks very peaceful and it is unless you slip on those rocks, get caught by the force of the water and, you are fighting for your life as you are being swept downstream.

      That swift water is similar to the conversation people have with themselves before they give in and smoke. They "had this" but then they smoke.

All it takes is some talking into. The point is you can stop yourself from smoking.

You can talk yourself out of smoking just as easily as talking yourself into it.

It is self deception

We all know what happens.

Be your own lifesaver.

Don't talk yourself into the swift water.

It takes years for some to quit again.


Trail Guide: Backpacking the Grand Canyon of the Tuolumne in Yosemite - Bearfoot Theory 

Doesn't cost a thing

It will turn your head and save your quit over and over and over again.

Your quit is your responsibility. If you won't invest in yourself 

with proven suggestions you are pi**ing in the wind.

      After 3 Days Of Rain, I Caved. The memory of having beef stew on a rainy day was too strong!

It finally got to me.

Today's the 4th day of rain.


It's all in the crock pots hands.



I believe memories and connections are what drive people back to smoking.


Now, please, enjoy some stew 

I just had 4 new tires put on.

      Did you know your spare must meet certain tread depth requirements or they won't let you keep it.  My left rear tire tread depth passed as a spare, so I didn't have to buy 5 tires. 

      I had called yesterday and gotten quotes for two different warranty levels of tires, installed including tax. After more research,  I made an appointment for 9:30 this morning.

      I called this morning to confirm my appointment and the price quote and, they were 5% more.  So I drove the few miles wondering if they would honor yesterdays quote. If they didn't I was prepared to come home but I wanted to ask them in person because I had made an appointment and I'm always where I say I'll be.  

      I would have been smoking by now mulling what would happen in my mind but there was no smoking thought that came to mind. 

      Anyway, they honored yesterdays quote. I was perfectly calm with my confirmed price so I could relax. Solving these kind of daily problems when we would have smoked can be done without smoking!



"Creativity Is Connecting Things" ~Steve Jobs

I read that recently and I believe

It's True


       I feel connecting a quit to a flexible timeline with milestones to look for, is an important way to approach quitting. 

      After years of seeing people come and go, I realize it may cause a new quitter to be impatient, but, time is the only way to disconnect from smoking forever.

      My goal is to get you to two years when the relapse rates drop dramatically.


and now, the three P's    

You don't get to a month if you can't make a week.

(the first 2-3 weeks are the hardest-have Patience)

You don't get to 130 days if you can't make a month.

(months 2, 3, and four are when people disappear Persistence)

You don't get to two years if you smoke.

(The relapse rate drops to 2-4% at two years. Peace with the addiction)

Quitting Smoking Isn't Learned In One Day

When I quit, I had done no research on quitting.

I had visited no online quit smoking sites or gone to any quit smoking meetings.


I made the perfect stress free ramp to my quit.

I knew I was ready but, I knew nothing about what to expect.

      I didn't have any construction jobs at the time so, I went to a friends and played guitar to whatever music he put on 10 hours a day my first two weeks.

That provided plenty of dopamine. 


      My thirst for knowledge came when I stopped using the patch. In fact, the package the patch came in suggested going to an online support site so that's where the idea came from.


      I wanted to know what was in store after those first two weeks, so I went online and found a quit smoking site and planted myself there.

      I asked questions, talked people off the ledge and generally, got a handle on what quitting was about.


      After 12 years I've realized it's about time and allowing yourself to disconnect without fighting yourself.

I feel we are driven by our memories.

Driven to repeat what has happened in the past.

Driven to recreate the feelings in those memories.

The associations are strong and silent.

We must execute the memory.


It's going to rain.

What am I thinking of?

Beef Stew in the slow cooker.


      This is how our memories drive us. Thinking of smoking is sparked by our memories. We connect feelings from the past to the present to create continuity.


      We are able to disconnect from smoking by making new memories that don't include smoking.


PS I didn't make the beef stew. I've learned I don't have to recreate every memory. (but I still make lasagna when the cheeses come on sale) 

It was still raining to the East

If you're still a smoker...


Will you take control? or will smoking control you?


You have a decision to make

      Whether you want to spend the last third of your life at doctors and therapists trying to save what breath you have left or halting the damage.

      It can be halted, but can't be undone, the sooner you quit, the better!

~Rolling Out Another Crave Buster~


Previously on this channel:

1.  Bite into a lemon, skin and all.

2.  Stick your head in the freezer and count backwards from 20.

3.  Fill your mouth with ice cubes and let them melt while trying to not get brain       freeze.



And now, may I present

4.  Aim a flashlight at an object and try to keep it held steady.

      (this will take your concentration away from smoking)


Don't tell me they don't work. Try them.

      We hear about cutting back often because many people attempt it but consider this, all the counting and denying before you quit may be building apprehension and negativity before you quit.  What if you smoke 3 more than was allowed one day? It kind of blows the cutting back idea out of the water. It becomes a permission to do it again in the same way smoking after you've quit becomes a silent permission to smoke. "Oh, what the ***, one more isn't going to kill me."


      You can get so focused an counting and keeping track and when you get to 5 or less a day those nicotine receptors are unwilling to go along but by this time you've fought so hard to get to that count, ANGER IS BUILDING, FEAR IS BUILDING.


You are likely starting your quit on the wrong foot.

There is an easier way to cut back without counting or denial.


Self Talk

      All you have to do is just say "I'm going to wait a little longer," EVERY TIME you want to smoke.

All you're doing is stopping to think before you smoke.

      Trust me when I say, there will be no fear or apprehension if you quit in this way.

      You don't have to set a quit date until you've proven you don't need to smoke just because the thought popped into your head from your memory and routine.


I went from 20 (a pack) a day to 5 a day and




I set my quit date when I bought my last pack 4 days before I quit.

This is not rocket science. This is letting your mind work for you.

"You control the horizontal,

"You control the vertical."


A bird flies

I can't

A dolphin leaps

I can't


Physical attributes prevent me/us from performing these tasks

without some invention or aid. 

What we do have, is the ability to think and create those aids/inventions that allow us to overcome our limitations and get to point B, albeit with an assist.


(You don't believe a bird knows why it can fly, do you?)

 It learned how but it doesn't understand the science or physics of flight.


Most of us don't take advantage of our ability

or learn how focus it.

Once we begin thinking before we act

Is when we develop our common sense.

This begins when we are young.

Keep learning and smoking doesn't make sense.




tip of the day

Bite into a lemon when you're having a bad crave

It's better to be "soured out" than have a smoke and cave.

A sunrise begins in darkness

It goes from greys to yellow and rosy colors 

and then those rosy colors

fade to blue and white or just blue.

This usually happens within 10 minutes.

You must be able to clear your head when

the thought of smoking comes along.

It only takes a moment


There are many steps to smoke after you've quit

The last step is inhaling to get it lit.

You can stop at any one of those "before" steps.



This is a powerful addiction

until you change your mind and

take the power from it.

Don't you hate it when you've waited days for an avocado to ripen

and when you think it's ready and peel the skin off



Life is like that. We have our expectations.

What we want to do.

What we actually do.

Who we want to marry.

How we actually marry.

Our expectations effect our mental forward motion

and our contentment.


Maybe we didn't feel we were accomplishing anything,

(unless we could smoke?)

I think I kind of smoked to cope my way through life

I have to tell you,

When you're in it, it's hard to see it.


Anyone can step away from smoking.

You just have to decide

how you're going to do it.

but, you didn't hear it from me.







time away from smoking

is time to do things different.

when you change your patterns

is how you grow the distance.

For you...

Remember the first time you skipped rope?  Were you a smoker then?

Remember the first time you roller skated? Smoker then?

First time riding a bicycle? Smoker then?

How about the first time you realized what things interested you? Smoker?

Were you a smoker when you had your first kiss?

Have you stopped doing things you used to find fun so you could smoke?


Smoking changes us

It changes our lives

We put it above all else in our lives

We give up things to smoke


You can get back to that place before you were a smoker

Willingness and time

Willingness and time

Willingness to detach, Time to relearn



November plans they came and went

But we heard not a peep as yet 

We really hope that you're alright

Say hey if you are able?




At 7:20am 12 years ago, I stubbed out the last cigarette that ever touched my lips.

Throughout the past 12 years, I've given my secrets to a successful quit


How I prepared with no stress

Where Does It Come From? 


How I got through the first 2 weeks

Keeping busy & replacing the dopamine by playing guitar 10 hours a day


What to expect during the time I've seen most people fail.

What to Expect in the First 4 Months 

No Mans Land Days 30 to 130 (approximate) 


How to retrain your mind quickly once you've quit

Say "I don't do that anymore"  every time you think of smoking

I discovered that laughing when I had a crave helped me steer away from danger.


How to beat the strongest craves

  • Bite into a lemon skin and all
  • Stick your head in the freezer and count backwards from 20
  • Fill your mouth with ice cubes and let them melt while trying to avoid brain freeze.


What statistics say 

The Two Sets Of Seasons 


General information

My Welcome To New Members (12+ Years Of Watching) 


And Most Importantly

Willingness, Not Willpower

Time Is The Healer

"Happy New Year"

as you know, not required

tomorrow morning at 7:20

marks 12 years of freedom

or begins 13.

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