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All People > jonescarp.aka.dale.Jan_2007 > jonescarp.aka.dale.Jan_2007 Blog > 2016 > August

The Truth

Posted by jonescarp.aka.dale.Jan_2007 Aug 31, 2016

We had a whiner in the Young Americans.  There was nothing he couldn't whine about.

When you are on the road travelling together for weeks and months 24/7, that can get very annoying.

People avoided him like the plague. No one wanted to have a conversation with him. No one wanted to share a room with him.

Well, unavoidably, the cycle came around where he and I were assigned to share a room.

I listened to his whining for a couple days and finally said, I'd like to talk with you. We sat down and I asked him point blank, "do you know why no one wants to talk with you?" "Do you know why no one wants to be your friend?"

He replied that he didn't and I explained that everything he said was said in a whine and that people tired of it quickly.

You know what?

He stopped whining and everyone soon became his friend as he became conscious of his tone and, he was grateful.

So, pardon me for being so direct. It's not done in negativity.

"You Must Wait Two Weeks And Do This And That"

     Where did this come from?

     Has anyone at the top of the chain considered that it just might take over two weeks to imprint change and acceptance in the human mind for an entirely new lifestyle after the ritual and addiction as deeply established as smoking?

     Has anyone considered that counting and focusing on every cigarette just might make someone focus on denial and difficulty instead of the realization of, "hey, I just went 4 hours without a cigarette and it wasn't a problem at all."

     Has anyone considered that the more you think about not smoking, the more you are thinking about smoking?

     Approach is everything. Just ask a pilot.  :-)

Now a resistance band however, is a different story.

I have a hard time exercising. I never did it my entire life.

When I was young, I body surfed and played football.

When I was on the road for years, I burned my calories onstage 5 sets a night.

When I was a carpenter..that did it

So it's been tough wanting to do something that's never been part of my life.

I've realized I need to learn to exercise like I unlearned smoking.

Getting back to the resistance band..

With my acid reflux, I've found there is less chance of reflux if I bend over rather than move up and down from the flat of my back. (sit ups)

I installed a heavy duty eyehook in the side of our stairs outside just above head height so no one walks into it.

I bought the heaviest band with handles I could at Wally World.

So you center the band on the hook and face away from it and walk forward until you get tension on the band.

You put your arms above your head keeping your elbows close together and both hands doubled up on the handles together.

Then you bend forward at the waist until you feel your stomach muscles tightening against the resistance. Then, just hold that for 30 seconds. Then bend on forward and back to that position 10 times leaving those muscles under tension for 30 seconds at a time and repeating the sets of ten perhaps 3 times at first

The beauty of this is you can judge what you are feeling and not overdo it and hurt yourself.

I did a real lousy job going to the all the years before I quit.I only went when I cut my thumb off, or severed my foot, you know, emergencies when I had no choice. Back then I was paying 20 thousand a year for a family of three with 2 five thousand deductibles so I had to pay for everything until those deductibles were met.

A roommate before I moved from LA to Oceanside told me he heard me stop breathing a lot when he was working at his desk in the adjoining room.

I did nothing about it until 3 years ago when I ordered a tester sent to my home and discovered I stopped breathing 400 times in one night. I finally got some coverage and had a sleep study and have used a cpap machine ever since.

My brother's doctor told him when you stop breathing your heart works like you are climbing Mount Everest trying to get oxygen.

In other words, take care of yourself. Don't just let things go if at all possible.

The amount of time for a quit to grow solid

is directly proportional to the amount of acceptance it is watered with.


Think before you smoke, not after. You set yourself back by smoking. The permissiuon sets you up for allowing yourself to do it again.

Time Is The Healer.

Chrome Wasn't Built In A Day.

Frogs Don't Eat Coyotes!

Don't give yourself permission.

     In the struggles that we share, we grow close because we care.

     The thought of losing our friend Betty has hit me particularly hard. It also reminds us of our own mortality.How much time do we have? We don't know.  Just stop now, let it go.

     Once Upon A Time, Over five years ago, a woman from Texas who had smoked for over 50 years joined the eX community. She was like every other new quitter with some exceptions. She Listened, She Learned and She Quit.
      At one time shortly after she arrived, I posted the one food that disgusted me was slimy okra in stewed tomatoes. From that point onward she tagged me by responding in my blogs with okra jabs and reminders.  That is the basis for this card I made for her.
We love you Betty!
See you on the other side..
go back and read her blogs. get to know this person and her journey.  :-)

(I just ordered some okra seeds)



Posted by jonescarp.aka.dale.Jan_2007 Aug 24, 2016



Posted by jonescarp.aka.dale.Jan_2007 Aug 23, 2016

Don't sit around thinking about smoking or not smoking.

You gave enoough of your life to smoking already.

Why give it any more?

Get on with it.

Be determined to live your life to the fullest.

Get out of yourself.

Get out and do new things.

Changes must be made or change can't happen.

We only get so much time.

Make it count!

We all need dopamine

Here are some links, first about excuses:

Getting out of the rut:

And a whole exercise library from beginner to advanced:

here's a lousy clip with a lot of wave noise on the beach at Malibu circa 2009?

There are only two ways to quit smoking.

The first way is that you choose to.

The second way is you don't.

Your quality of life will be enhanced if you choose to quit.

Every time we give voice to a negative thought, or listen to someone else complain, a synapse in the brain fires across to another synapse, carrying that little package of pessimism along with it. Over time, consistent complaints can ultimately rewire the brain, making it easier for negativity to get passed around. In a nutshell, one complaint leads to another—then another and another. 

The good news? Not only do you have the power to break free from the vicious complaint cycle, but you can prime your brain to expect positivity. According to certified fitness trainer Cheryl Russo, complaining consistently is a habit that can be broken if you commit to thinking before you speak.

Be prepared to clear your head and get through the unknown.

While I was at the dentist yesterday, something happened that has never happened  previously.

I had a small panic attack while they were working on me.

They have this new fangled contraption that holds your tongue out of the way and provides constant suction the entire time they are working on you. I find it very uncomfortable but, they've used it the last 3 or 4 times so I had not built up any real negativity to it.

The dentist is working on me and the assistant was spraying water and this uncomfortable device is filling my mouth. I got the feeling they were waterboarding me from the inside and I might drown.  :-)

The dentist got up to get something he needed or to go to the bathroom and as soon as he did, I pulled that contraption out of my mouth and asked the assistant to raise the chair.

By the time he returned, the anxiety had passed and I was ready to go again but, I was surprised it had happened.

The dentist explained that occasionally the epinephrine in the numbing agent can get into your bloodstream and create the fight or flight feeling that an adrenaline rush causes.

"anxiety, confusion, restless feeling,"

My point is, you will have unexpected situations arise during your quit that cannot be predicted and cause you to focus on the thought of smoking. (no I didn't think of smoking but this blog is simply a metaphor)

Sit up, get your bearings and let them pass on by

Dig Down Deep And Push On Through It!

Ever heard smoking is bad for your teeth? (it is)

who can

just tell them you need some encouragement

just tell them you are adjusting and figuring yourself out .

just tell them you need the truth when you get anxious.

just tell them

And if they want something? Laugh as below and then say no  :-))

Make a promise to yourself and you will win.



Posted by jonescarp.aka.dale.Jan_2007 Aug 13, 2016



Posted by jonescarp.aka.dale.Jan_2007 Aug 11, 2016

Have you kept losing quits in the first 4 months? Can't seem to get past them?

Some people want to argue about it.

I experienced some indecision during this time. Many will.

The quitters on the site I quit on were dropping like flies during this time period.

I see many here give up and just dissappear during that time.

So, just watch your back.

Get your tools together to get you through the rough times.

Expect the unexpected cravings but don't focus on them. Accept them and willingly continue and you will be fine.

Step back and observe your feelings before you smoke.

Stop the focus.   Stay a winner.


Sarah focus's on this time period every Wednesday.

Here is her blog.

People start back smoking as an emotional response to an event or situation. When you feel any consideration of smoking, you need to say something to yourself that makes you realize that you are birthing these possibilities. You can often halt those thoughts with that realization. Say I Don't Do That Anymore and move on.

That prohibits the sale of ecigs or vaping supplies to minors.

Of course it's too late for the millions of kids addicted to nicotine because the wheels turn so slow and the lobbyists won't let go.

The gardeners come every other Monday and at the end of their visit, they blow all the leaves and dirt with their blower and alot of it lands on my truck.

Between that and the foggy mornings streaking their dirt that had settled on my truck it was finally getting to me.

It's been very hot out here lately so yesterday at 5am, I went out in the dark to wash my truck.

I took a dishpan with a gallon of soapy water and a medium long bristle brush and went to work.

Unfortunately, the brush was making noise and as I didn't want to wake the neighbors, I just started using the palm of my hand  as the tool to loosen it and my fingers to feel for the dirt. I then rinsed it off with very little water.

I thought I did a pretty good job until I went out yesterday afternoon and realized I missed the rear window on the drivers side and the little yellow spots from bugs on the hood.

The moral of the story is keep your quit in the light so you get the result you are expecting.

I'll get out there eventually to get the rear window and those yellow spots.

With a truck you can do 85%.  With a quit, you can not.

Building a quit plan and then following through is like making a sandwich.
Tip # 1 You don't want to leave the meat out.
     I had a rotisserie chicken, (one of those costco giants) that I didn't get to the first day and, everytime I've made chicken salad in the past it tasted too mayonnaise-y.

     I did some research this morning and learned that many people use less mayo along with with plain yoghurt or sour cream. Some of the recipe's had 3 or 4 fresh herbs along with many spices. I don't grow my own and I didn't want to turn a $5 chicken into a $30 sandwich so, I bought some green onions and chopped them fine, I bought some red leaf lettuce. I used 1/2 mayo and 1/2 sour cream, some seasoning salt and some black pepper to make the dressing for the chicken. I then chilled it per everyone's suggestion.
     The heat's been killing my bread so when I was at Trader Joes picking up some double wide cat scratchers, I splurged and bought some cracked wheat sourdough bread.
     I saw the pioneer woman put honey mustard on her bread so I drizzled some mustard and then some honey on both sides of my toasted bread,

     I added lettuce and the chicken salad on one side.

On the other half, I added two pieces of swiss cheese and two strips of bacon. I then toasted the side with the bacon and swiss

I assembled it, cut it in half and well.... you know the rest...

   Every part of this sandwich was considered both before and, as it was progressing.  This is exactly what you must do with your quit. Plan it and then, be aware as you progress to continue making the right choices to have a successful quit.

Now, eat your quit and enjoy it.  :-)

May it never darken your door

You have a choice to make if you have not yet quit.

Make the right one.



Posted by jonescarp.aka.dale.Jan_2007 Aug 1, 2016

I only celebrate every 500 days now but, I celebrate your quits every day.

I came here in August of 2008. By then I had been quit 19 months.

I learned from elders on another site as this site didn't exist .

I knew how valuable it was to be part of a community to quit smoking from first hand experience so I brought what I had learned there about the common experience.

What I've seen in my nearly 10 years quit is the time period during which most people give up and go back to smoking.  That is why my focus is on what I experienced and what others experienced during those first 4+ months.

My goal is to get you through this most difficult time and provide you the tools and the confidence to enjoy your forever quit.

People like Misty Dawn who posted her 6 year quit this morning are our reward.

Your quit is our reward.

Don't Smoke It Up!

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