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All People > jonescarp.aka.dale.Jan_2007 > jonescarp.aka.dale.Jan_2007 Blog > 2014 > May
      If You Are Anticipating A Slip Before You Even Quit,  You Are Starting On Shaky Ground  
     Believing You Can Quit Smoking Does Not Include Believing You Are Going To Fail.  
    If you think you're going to smoke? YOU WILL
   You will talk yourself right into it.
You've given yourself an excuse and preordained your own failure with that thinking.


The only way you will ever succeed is when you finally take smoking out of the equation of life and put it behind you.

Have a great weekend and please don't drink away your quit!

Examine them closely, then, put them in a box.

You don't have to jump off a building twice to know it's gonna hurt.

When you quit smoking, you need to be always be looking ahead, planning your escape from a risky situation before it happens.

Example 1:

Someone who angers you backs you into a corner with another rediculous argument that no one can win.

Say, "You're pooping wrong and, I'm not smoking over it."

Example 2:

Your child is a screamer.

Get right in their face and whisper to them rather than shout back. It changes the whole dynamic of the moment.

Example 3:

Someone invited you out and you know there will be drinking. Have one drink and drink water the rest of the night.

You have the power to change the outcome before it becomes inevitablle,

You can do it.

Start changing the moment and you've learned new ways to cope without smoking..

No toilets were harmed in the commission of this blog post.

They found the problem yesterday and are going to try to fix it next week. (a vein behind her knee)

When we are young, we tend to not go to the Rr except for absolute emergencies.

RE: Growing Older

I'm learning as you age if you don't take care of things as they appear or your quality of life goes to zero. Who wants to be stuck at home if it isn't necessary?

Yes there is always a longer recovery time than expected but no fix usually means no recovery at all.

Take care of yourselves. Nip it in the bud.

No Butts!

Had a difficult weekend. The facility she was in for 6 weeks released her with no help or instructions on how to do anything the day before the long weekend.

She is in this morning addressing one of the problems that must be addressed.

She only has 30% bloodflow in one leg. They believe it is from a clot during the surgery so they are going in to try and locate it and break it up this morning. Evidently the surgeon wanted to do it the day of the surgery but felt Nancy was just too weak and might not make it.

Prayers and healing thoughts appreciated. More later.

So much contradictory information out there. What makes sense?

I was watching a show on PBS about brain health over the weekend and guess what they say our brain needs to function well into old age?

FAT That's right. FAT. Evidently our brains are 70% FAT. Our brains crave FAT. The story even implied not getting this FAT leaves you at double the risk for Alzheimers.

There was a story on the news just now about how many millions of children have dropped out of the school lunch program. They attribute this to Mrs Obama's nutrition program which has made the lunches tasteless. (no fat?)

We are going to seek our dopamine release no matter what we are told or what is "good for us." That's a big reason we smoked. Nicotine equalled dopamine release.

Yes, smoking gave us that dopamine release we all want. We all know smoking is damaging to ourselves and those around us so, what's the solution when you quit smoking?

Start finding other things that make you feel good and initiate release of dopamine.




A hobby that is rewarding and satisfies our need to create.

Volunteering. Helping others is rewarding.

And don't forget about sex. Yes it's right at the top for dopamine release.

Remember, Nicotine has hijacked our pleasure receptors which initiate a dopamine release.

As the receptors die off and are replaced with new ones, nicotine's grip is loosened and released.

Give it time. It didn't happen overnight.

If you made a plan without preconceived thoughts like "it's going to be so hard without my cigarettes", or "my life is over, call in the cows", you stand a good chance of reaching your goal.

If you stay with it you cannot comprehend how your horizons will expand.

Keep your quit open. Don't try to hold it in a box with rusted anger.

this is a new way of life

You may experience the tendency to reenslave yourself to smoking with evasive thinking but, it is not a command.

You can think yourself out of smoking just as easily as you think your way into it.

Believe in yourself..Now that's a command!

Keep track of what really happens with your blogs.

it's your history of your quit reality..

I saw an advertisement for the patch last night. One statement just didn’t ring true with me.
They claimed their product would stop the urge to smoke. I think they have it wrong. I don’t think they know what they are talking about with that statement. I think they want MONEY. LOL
When we are smokers, nicotine is a physical need, not an urge.
The pleasure receptors scream until they get their satisfaction.
What does this mean to you?
The “urge” is built upon the habit part of smoking not, the physical need.The need-cotinine addiction goes away within a relatively short time after we stop ingesting it.
Yes there are a few weeks of withdrawal symptoms. It’s worked it’s way into every part of our system and takes that amount of time for our system to eliminate it completely. The pleasure receptors that are used to getting nicotine die off and are replaced with ones that have never known nicotine so you don’t need it anymore. I contend when we’ve stopped using it for awhile, we aren’t physically addicts any longer. (unless we use it again)
As long as we keep using nicotine, we have the NEED to use it. So why prescribe it to quit smoking if it keeps you physically addicted?
Because quitting is a two part process. The urge to smoke is actually the ritual we’ve built with all our memories of smoking. We reach for one because it’s all we’ve known 20 times a day for how many years?
I believe the NRT can help to relieve the need for nicotine while we observe our actions and begin to break the ritual/habit part of smoking. The ritual/habit part of smoking is rather mindless.  We don’t consciously remember or even think about how great each cigarette was we smoked at the end of each day. We just do it. It satisfies the need for nicotine and the rituals we’ve built around that need.
So, I’m not against the NRT. I’m against becoming as dependent on it as smoking. I’m against using it until you are fearful of getting off of it and you believe it is all that has kept you quit. (becoming psychologically addicted as well as physically addicted to the cure and making it as important as cigarettes were)
I'm not too fond of the lozenges or the gum because they are self dosing and many will actually use more nicotine than they were getting as smokers thus risking dependence on them.

The need is the chemical addiction, the urge is the ritual. Unlearning the ritual is what takes time. Give yourself the time.
To the manufacturers: You're getting your money. Get it right would you?

Unfortunately she's too weak to do anything,, even lift herself up off the floor.

I told her to get hold of the home pt company today or she might not get any help until next Friday


Per Nancy's normal Friday blog

Please Watch your drinking and don't lose your quits over the long weekend.

It's hard to get back once you throw it away

I'm pigeon toed. I just knew it affected my smoking and would keep me from quitting. (somehow?)

For sure being a closet smoker makes it 1000 times harder. (some way?)

Oh, and I smoked menthol cigarettes for 40 years too don't chu know!

Anybody with a white car too. big problems there.

So many of us with  "special problems" and reasons we've failed again and again.

I don't know how I've stayed quit 7 and a half years. (actually I do. I stopped lying to myself)

Now, I'm wondering if the white truck I've had since last October will take me back to smoking? :j

Can you see what you've done?

Stop saying "I have reasons I can't" and begin saying "I Can!"

Instead, Watch for the moment you realize you are free


Yes there will come a day

See it through and  go all the way

The Caravan Master is in the hospital with Pneumonia.

Please keep him close.

He has many to lead through No Mans Land.

Get Well Larry!


ps Courage heard from him and suggested i post it.

Well! Here we are at the EX!

All of us a little different

Don't WE look like Happy Smokers? Don't WE think we have life on a string?

Some affluent, Some not. Some in the cold, Some in the hot.

Some of us want to quit, some of us don't. What sparked us to be here? What do we want?

If we wrap ourselves in learning, and prepare to make us willing

To learn we're losing nothing and finding out the truth.

Let's Wrap!

Let's Learn!

What makes us want to burn?

And when we have let go, Of everything that's told us NO

We can be free...

And Fly Away!

"You have to do some cocooning to become a butterfly"




disclaimer: no spicebrush swallowtails were hurt in this enactment  :j

If you resent quitting?

If you are angry about not being able to smoke?

4 months quit doesn't mean a thing. 4 years quit doesn't mean a thing.

Whether you wanted to quit in the beginning or made the choice to quit, in time you will reach a point where your quit means more than being a smoker does.

You can't fight yourself and succeed at quitting forever. It takes too much energy.


Be Willing not Wrangling

If you didn't say you, you don't understand.

People take themselves back to smoking in one of two ways.

1.  They talk themselves into it

(It's just as easy to talk yourself out of smoking as it is to talk yourself into it-Say "I don't do that anymore" instead of "I'd really like a cigarette")


2.  They drink until they are past the tipping point.

(Stay away from alcohol for awhile. Do not drink where there are cigarettes accessible-Limit your drinking of alcohol when you are out and have water)

Nothing can make you smoke except you.

Keep it real. Stop EXcusing yourself.

We weren't born knowing bladder and bowel control. We learned it by practicing.

We weren't born knowing how to walk. We had to learn that.

Thumbsucking was pure instinct but something we had to unlearn.

Perhaps smoking was a replacement for thumbsucking? A sense of security with a hit of dopamine?:

Thumbsucking won't kill you but smoking will.

You can unlearn it just like you did thumbsucking.

The further you can distance yourself from those hand to mouth motions and the memories that drive them, the better off you are.

Unlearning the habit part of smoking and the time spent doing that is the key to your success.

This phrase came about when I realized how many people tended to complicate quitting smoking. I started telling people that instead of working so hard at quitting to just focus on keeping them away from your face.

Now this is a great way to shift peoples until they get to a certain point of unlearning smoking,  but, as long as thoughts of smoking are automatic, how can you be free?   Every memory you have is connected to smoking

The most difficult part of quitting smoking is to grasp you must unlearn the reaching for one and the hand to mouth and inhale motion as your response to feelings both emotional and physical. You must break that deepset pattern.

You must make new memories without smoking to replace the old ones and then you can be free.

Drinking 'til you're stoopid is stoopid

Are a few drinks worth starting over again?

Don't throw your quit away. YOU ARE WORTH IT



ps you don't have to quit drinking forever but for the first 4-6 months, i would be extra careful.

For those on the fence about quitting

You can not truly feel or experience your life when it revolves around smoking.
It is the most important thing in your life. You think about it all the time. When and where you can do it. Making sure you never run out. Fidgeting until you can have one. It has all become automatic. It has overtaken you. It is your reality.


AND, you will never see it until you step away from it.

If every day quit is a bad day, you're doing it wrong. You are focusing on minutes not freedom.

You are fighting yourself not willingly accepting what you say you want.

Why do we focus on the few bad days? Are we trying to escape our quit?

It's easy to go back to smoking if smoking is all you think about. If smoking is all you think about, you haven't learned to distract your mind when you get an urge to smoke.

It's about changing little things and patterns that you did as a smoker. Once you start changing these little patterns you don't need to think of smoking or quitting. The little changes will remind you instead. Let new ways remind you you can change.

Changing it up.

Ever tried eating with your other hand?  Taking a different route to work? (no I don't want you driving blindfolded) Simple little things like moving the furniture around, making a new recipe,These will help you understand you can change and get you out of the trap of "smokers thinking."

If you get a craving that just won't go away? Slap yourself in the face. Stick your head under a cold water faucet. Howl at the moon. These things won't do damage but they will certainly remind you that you have a purpose.

You simply cannot think the same way you did when you were a smoker and succeed.

When we sleep, we dream and often physically move acting out with body motions.
We are trying to get through the situation in our dream, escape it and find resolution.
Being smokers who have quit smoking, there is bound to be a restlessness when we get the urge to repeat the motions of something we’ve done so many times before.
Because smoking is so mindless and repetitious the thoughts of doing it are bound to hang on awhile.
When you get the urge to smoke early on and through no mans land, think of it like the tossing and turning we do in our dreams. We work through things in our dreams while we are unconscious.

The restlessness of missing smoking will dissipate. It takes time
Nobody ever died from dreaming. Nobody ever died from quitting smoking.
Don’t let thoughts of smoking build up.  Say “I don’t do that anymore” as soon as you get the urge to smoke. Say it out loud. Say it over and over. That phrase affirms your choice to quit smoking and moves you away from the restlessness and points your head back to your goal..

Stay willing and know it will get better.
Don’t give up on you.    The only way out is through

I believe that on the first site I was on, they called this day "ascending the grand staircase"

Head on up to that top landing Mike and Congratulations!

We let it run our lives and are/were oblivious.
I used to leave my family sitting in a restaurant to go outside while the check was being prepared so I could have a cigarette.
I used to go outside during my daughters plays to have a cigarette.
I used to go outside immediately after leading the worship team for 45 minutes to have a cigarette and not come back in (because I smelled like smoke) until it was time to close the service.
Every precious moment and important memory that might have been but was missed to go have that smoke ARE GONE FOREVER.

My family will not watch me sputter and choke while begging for a cigarette when I leave the planet. How about yours?

people come here and none of us know what shape their self esteem is in.

they make up some fake name and you'll never see a face because who they pretend to be is only a figment of their imagination. Some tend to want to make a name for themselves and will go to any lengths to do it including dishonesty in order to manipulate people to follow them.

In my opinion, if they have to manipulate people with dishonesty they don't deserve respect.

They delete peoples comments so you can't see through the production they're trying to put on..

To compound their dishonesty, they put a public statement on someone else's blog stating someone tried to put a damper on their quit.

another dishonesty, another untruth.

so if indeed there are rumors going around? Don't believe it. It's just a bullshi**ing manipulator with no name and no face. A nobody trying to be somebody and fooling many of you.

if not, i hope you enjoy the song

we must get through to be successful long term.

many of us, myself included, have lost our mothers.

i lost mine in 1999. Some of us,as recently as this or last year

you never forget no matter how long it's been.

life is about more than the good times. there will be loss.

quitting smoking is your gain and your mothers would be proud of you for not remaining a nicotine zombie.

take heart. remember the good times. keep your quits.

Happy Mothers Day!

Some people say they cough all the time after they quit.

I wonder. If you are/were one of those people, did you cough alot before you quit?

Are you coughing up a bunch of crud that you attribute to quitting smoking?


For those of you who are not coughing after you quit, there is nothing wrong with you.

Once you quit, there are little things called cilia that line your lungs and bronchial tubes and are there specifically to sweep out the crap that gets in out lungs whether we smoke or not begin to work.

They are paralyzed while we are smokers but once we stop, they begin cleaning while we sleep almost. immediately.

Now, you may feel like you are clearing your throat continually after you quit. Sometimes this stuff works its way up to our throats where we swallow it. That's how all the crud in our lungs gets out. (through our digestive system)

Warning, this tar in your stool is sticky.

Don't Get Stuck! Don't Get Stuck!


PS the "throat clearing" lasted over a year for me.

The only way out is through

Be prepared to see some things you may not want to see.

One of the reasons we smoked and kept smoking was to even out realities we didn't want to face.

That old hit of dopamine whenever we wanted it was a great equalizer but life is more than covering up.

It's easy to chain smoke when you find your spouse is cheating on you.

It's easy to chain smoke when someone close to you dies.

It's easy to chain smoke when you get served with divorce papers.

...........When you've been lied to, when you're in a car accident. I could go on and on and on.

While you are rationalizing your smoking WHY DON'T YOU PINCH YOURSELF AND WAKE UP! 

Smoking isn't necessary.

If you ever intend to deal with life and emotions on your terms and release pain instead of cover it up, quitting smoking is the biggest step you can take.

These types of things can be harsh but they can be freeing.

Smoking is a liar. Smoking is a trap that never lets you move forward.

Smoking is a band-aid on emotional wounds that can never heal until they get air and light.

Part of being free is experiencing some pain and working through it.

Be prepared.

she's been trapped in a room for 3 weeks under quarantine from the stomach virus.

she hopes she will be able to get out of her room tomorrow.

i believe those 10 minutes in the sun would be the best thing for her spirit.

she said she's sitting in a wheelchair and i told her how good i became with a wheelchair after i severed my foot.

i was on crutches and in a chair for three full years after i severed my foot in a job fall in 2000.

i could go backwards in my chair at high speed pushing off with my other foot.

i used to wait outside the target with all the Christmas shoppers for the store to open and once open, i could always beat anyone running in my chair. it was good for their sake that we weren't shopping for the same items.

she said something like "it's kind of hard to see the people behind you isn't it?"and i said, well you can sort of stay straight by watching the aisles go by and at least you know which way they were going. "if they are on their back they were coming towards you and if they are facing away from you they were going the same direction."

ps. i smoked through my recovery and my foot never healed correctly.

Over the years I've seen people try to kick many addictions. I've learned the worst thing you can do when you are trying to release yourself from an addiction is to hang out with people who are still actively doing it. Why would anyone  go hang out with a bunch of people who were snorting cocaine right in front of you if you were trying to stop snorting cocaine?

Everyone wants to be accepted.

Addictions bring people with the same addiction together to justify what they do.

If you are concerned about losing your smoking buddies take a close look and see if smoking may have been what drew you and the only glue that held you together.

Be honest. We all know that drinking and smoking go hand in hand. If you did other social things with smokers, examine what you did together. Chances are it was smoking and drinking in tandem. That was your socialization, the justification to keep damaging yourself.

One of the biggest parts of succeeding is looking at smoking for what it was, and I mean REALLY was.

Smoking manipulated us into it's way of thinking and we let it.

This is just another reason we make it difficult to quit.

You need to put a light on reality and keep it there to understand what smoking really was and understand what freedom from smoking really is.

I drive by an organization that helps the homeless on my way to the grocery store. The organization is on one side of the street and 30-40 smokers are on the other side. Picture that. These people have nothing and smoking is still their top priority.

I understand many of you have family who smoke and aren't intending to quit under their own power.or by their choice. I can almost guarantee you will not enjoy being in a confined space with them smoking after a while.

You can't dump your family but YOU CAN SAVE YOURSELF.

Be bold. Tell them you can't be in a confined space while they are smoking. If they offer resistance, tell them you would do it for them.

if they have to start thinking before they smoke, they just may realize they could do it too.

you hear it over and over

and over and over

"you have to want to quit"

i think that statement can be a shortcut to failure.

i believe many people say they want to quit but in their heart of hearts they really don't believe it.

so, let's break it down.

quitting smoking is really about keeping them away from your face whether you want to or not.

keeping them away from your face is simple. it isn't about wanting anything, it's about doing something.

you must use some common sense and make good choices along the way but you don't have to want anything.

one of the first phrases i heard when i first quit was keep it simple stupid. (KISS)

this surely rings true with quitting smoking. don't overthink it. it isn't that complicated.

Keep Them Away From Your Face

There will come a time when you don't think of smoking.

It will never come if you are fighting yourself from day one.

If you are constantly doubting yourself you are not only creating the agony, you are prolonging it.

Accept the fact that you have quit. Accept the fact that it will get better unless you smoke.

We all had thoughts of smoking when we first quit. It can't be denied when you've done something 20 times a day for 40 years. It takes time to not think of smoking. It takes time to unlearn and understand smoking is not required.

No one can give you that time except you.

It boils down to whether you let the temporary thoughts at the beginning overtake you or whether you will stick it out and believe in yourself until it goes away. It will go away.

You have to give it time.

She was hospitalized for three weeks. 7 inches of her intestine had died and was removed caused by adhesions from a prior surgery. She has been in a rehabilitation center for almost two weeks. Staff managed to pass a viral infection throughout the facility and everyone was given the only medication that would handle this particular virus. This medication kills off all the flora in your system. They say your health begins in your gut. That flora is what they are talking about. So that blunder has weakened her entire system and left her about as well as an ill infant.

Until only a few days ago she has been too weak to even hold a phone.

The last few days we've spoken for sometimes up to 10 minutes.

She thinks they will release her in a week or so. My concern is that she will not be able to manage on her own. She told me her daughter in San Francisco's job is not starting until September so hopefully she can return home until Nancy is stronger.

My procedure 9 days ago went well but left me very week. Thursday my BP was 96 over 62 which was very low for me and I thought I might be having anothr GI bleed out. The first one in 2012 almost killed me.I went to my primary Friday and everything was normal. .

My best friend had 8 vertebrae fused last Monday and was released yesterday so I will be going to his house this morning to assess anything he might need in the way of grab bars, raised toilet seats, etc. (so see, being a carpenter and contractor for 35 years IS going to pay off. LOLOL)

Please keep Nancy in your prayers.

I had my overhead lights dimmed last night and it brought up a question I had considered answered.

All my life I had heard that a dimmer sucked up the power it kept from the light bulbs and  that power became heat. That meant power was not being saved but just held from the light bulbs themselves and thus, you were using just as much power as if you were not dimming the lights.

I looked it up last night and found out that was wrong. Power actually is saved not heat sinked and lost.

Here's another one:

Smoking is good. (We all thought it was didn't we? If not, why did we do it?)

Now, can you give me one good reason smoking is good?

If not, Stop lying to yourself. Stop listening to the bullshit we've been brainwashed with.

There is no evidence smoking is good but is mountains to the contrary.

This is your life. SMARTEN UP! Take it back!

Yes, the first 2-3 weeks are somewhat miserable for each of us. Don't magnify it. Look at it like a bad head cold, It's frustrating to be sick with anything.

Turn it around. Instead of blaming this misery on your quit, blame it on smoking.

It will get easier and easier if you stick with it.

Keep unlearning the hand to mouth. You have to break that thought pattern of reaching for a cigarette.

Continue to change things up. Small changes that keep you aware you are doing something positive will get you through.

As smokers we never even knew we were controlled. As you're quit goes on and you distance yourself from smoking I promise you will see it.

Onward to FREEDOM!

when i first started the patch, i never had a plan for when i would stop using them. at that time i didn't know one thing about quitting or the attitude required to be successful. I was just like any new quitter.

i quit on a Tuesday. I forgot to wear one on that Friday.

When I woke on Sat, i had to ask myself how i was feeling and make a decision. i listened to my body and decided i wasn't ready to get off.

the following week i forgot again. and the next day, again.

I had that conversation with my body again. If I felt ok, why would i keep using them?

Here's the trick I used after I stopped using them..

I put one in my wallet and promised myself if i was seriously considering smoking, i would put one on and wait an hour.

I kept that patch in my wallet my whole first year.

I was tricking myself into keeping my quit no matter what. It was a trick I knew would work.

it was then i joined my first quit smoking site.

now, i am not suggesting everyone stop using them in two weeks, but i am saying, talk to yourself. be honest, not clouded by fear  if you do that, and when you are comfortable, you will know.

There is no escape plan for self dosing nicotine replacement.

If you are using self dosing nicotine replacements, have you made your own plan to get off of them.  Are you sticking to it?

Nicotine replacement can be great to take the edge off while you begin to unlearn the hand to mouth and inhale motions of smoking but, nicotine will not stop controlling you until you are willing to stop using it.

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