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All People > jonescarp.aka.dale.Jan_2007 > jonescarp.aka.dale.Jan_2007 Blog > 2014 > April

Myth: You have to really (really) want to quit to succeed. (This is what we've been told and I don't believe it)
The truth is, you can quit without wanting to once you've decided to.
(This means not waffling on your decision)

Be willing to take the journey, don't fight it. Remember? It was your decision. You are simply honoring your own wishes by being willing.

First step after you've decided:
Not having any smokes around or access to them. making them as difficult to get as possible. You know? like having to go to get dressed and go to the store instead of going to the pack you have hidden under your mattress? This will give you some time to calm down and think about what you are doing instead of turning yourself into a zombie until you've smoked and then bemoaning your failure

The second step is to talk yourself out of smoking instead of into smoking when you crave.
That can be done very simply by saying "I don't do that anymore" out loud. You say it until the crave goes away. That is accepting your decision to quit and solidifying it in your mind instead of talking yourself into smoking.

You will also need to find other things to replace the dopamine release smoking created.
Temporary things might be exercise, laughing out loud, listening to music.Long term satisfaction might be finding something you love to do that gives you a feeling of satisfaction. (A hobby, volunteering, etc.)

See, as long as you "need" something it will be the most important thing in your life.

You will place it above everything including honesty, anyone in your life, even your spouse, pets and kids.

Don't you get it?

It will control your life just as much as smoking did. (Oh, you haven't figured out that smoking ran your whole waking day yet?) (that if you were in a conversation with someone and the need to have a cigarette came up, you didn't hear a word they said?) (That you had to go find someplace to do it? and still will even with an ecig)

That is not freedom.

Some people who quit and then slip/smoke would have you believe someone else did it to them.

Something or someone caused it.

Does some smoke fairy go to the store and buy that pack or sneak one from someone else's?

Does it shove one in your mouth, light it and squeeze you like an accordian, forcing you to smoke?

Highly doubtful. AND, there are no videos on youtube to support this claim.


You can't blame something else if you smoke. Take responsibility. You chose to do it.

If you don't start the thought of smoking and let it grow you won't smoke. Stopping that thought is your responsibility. We can give you plenty of ways to distract yourself but you have to do them.

Those of us here with longer quits count our time quit from our last cigarette.

You are either smoking or you are not. there is no "one here and there"

Nancy is down. She has had 3 major health setbacks in the past 2-3 years and she is just tired of all the hardship and difficulties of long term recovery.

I want to help pull her out of it but she won't take phone calls or skype either. I'm at a loss.i can't cheer her up if she won't talk.

please keep her in your prayers

On another note, you guys are doing a great job with your help and advice

when you smoke, you give up the power.


don't smoke

save some health & keep the power.

willingness and time is all it takes.

don't give up too early. your freedom is not far off.

I spoke with her daughter yesterday. Nancy was being seen by her Dr. when I called and I was leaving on my day trip. Nancy is in a wonderful rehab center. She is extremely weak. No estimate of time she will be there yet. Keep her in her prayers.

My procedure Friday.Smoking causes the valve that lets the food go into your stomach to weaken and let the acid backup into your esophagus when you sleep. After a time, this can eventually turn into Barrett's Esophagus with high grade dysplasia. (Pre cancerous changes in esophageal cells) I'm going in Friday morning and they are going to burn those cells off from the inside.)

A Distraction-Slideshow Of A Road Trip I Took Yesterday

Finally, I suggest you DON'T SMOKE.

Then, give it the time it's going to take to stop thinking about it!

I can't tell you much. I try to talk with her every day but some days, all I can do is leave a message.

I spoke with her yesterday before church and after church and she is not very talkative so I can't ask her all the questions about her progress. She went into the hospital 2 weeks ago, Good Friday.

I know they are trying to get her to eat and I asked her what they were feeding her and she said jello.

Jello is good but man cannot function on jello alone. (She'll probably never be able to look at jello again)

I know she is in a regular room and out of ICU. I think the next step when she is able is a rehab facility one step down from a hospital.

I will try to ask her daughter more this afternoon.

I have sort of a reputation for being overly direct.

I can spot a disguised excuse a mile away.

So don't you play at quitting!! :-)


I'm not out to GET YOU. I'm out to get you ON THE RIGHT TRACK. (and keep you there)

The nrt should be used to begin unlearning the hand to mouth and inhale motion (the "habit" part of Smoking) by helping you come to grips with and reminding you of how often you thought of smoking or reaching for one. You see, anyone can give up the nicotine in a matter of a few days and get through the symptoms of withdrawal in 2-3 weeks. It's unlearning the mindless repetition that smoking is that is the real crux and the more difficult part of quitting. that part takes considerably more time.

So, the NRT will give you some physical relief from the addiction part of smoking while you tackle this habit part.

That's all it can possibly do. It can't quit smoking for you. That is your decision.

If you choose to use an NRT to help you get started, let it be just that, "a start".

The quicker you unlearn the habit and realize how much smoking controlled you, the sooner you can be free, and that means free of the NRT too. I feel the real danger of using the NRT's for an extended time is you can become not only physically but psychologically addicted as well which only makes it harder to let them go.

Your dopamine release system long ago hjacked by nicotine and thereby limiting normal pleasure cannot get back to normal until you stop using nicotine.

Be free. Be totally free.

PS You can't unlearn the habit by reaching for something and inhaling from it. You are reenforcing the habit by doing that not unlearning it.

You'll kick yourself in the morning!

that means the tubes are out!

she had to go but said she'd call me back when they left


Good Friday

Quit Smoking Using Hypnosis

Hypnotism uses suggestion to change behavior. It’s hard to test whether it works or not, but studies suggest hypnosis doesn’t help people quit smoking. This may be because nicotine actually changes your brain chemistry, meaning nicotine addiction is just too powerful to be overcome by suggestion. We encourage any attempt to quit smoking, but we hope you’ll use proven methods that are backed by the best available research.

Because we believe you are worth it.

There is nothing more joyful or rewarding for me than to see people get through those first 4 1/2 months and knowing they can be free for life with what they learned to get that far.

I've not found a better investment of my time.

Now, you must believe you are worth it.

You must be willing to be uncomfortable for a time by knowing it will get better.

If you are willing and not fighting quitting it becomes simply honoring your decision to not smoke.

Don't fight yourself. Be willing and accept your quit. Believe in yourselves.

"Hi Dale,
Yes, we've been sharing them with her and she greatly appreciates them! We received a few cards as well, so we'll be taking those to her tomorrow. She's just starting to get past the really tough part, still on feeding tube so talking really hurts. They did move her out of ICU late today, so she's moving in the right direction."



thanks everybody your prayers and wishes are much appreciated, :-)

here is the link for anyone else who missed the caring bridge link that was in the last blog

one of her girls set up a caring bridge so you could communicate your thoughts and wishes.

Hi Dale, I wish I had better news, but no real milestones today. She was able to get into the chair twice, more under her own power than before. She's just really exhausted and still delirious, so just trying to get her up and moving as much as possible while still letting her rest. We hope to get her out of ICU in the next couple of days and to an intermediate care section.


please keep the prayers coming

Come here and let us help you get through

She said she'd like to get Nancy and I on skype as soon as she is transferred from ICU to intermediate care so I can cheer her up. It could be as early as today. I'll let you know what happens

she also said she has been telling Nancy daily about all the people here lifting her up in prayer and warm thoughts and Nancy was able to get to a chair in her hospital room on her own yesterday.

keep it coming. :-)

Here's what I'm thinking.

I would never publish anyone's address here and I don't want to get into sending multiple shipments and miss stragglers


If you would like to send a card to her, PM me and I will give you her address. I'm sure one of her daughters could stop by the house and check her mail and get it to her if she is still in the hospital.


You might just want to PM her mailbox on the site here with your get well thoughts and wishes. She will get them when she's back online.


Here's one picture from our road trip yesterday

Just saw this as I'm getting home

She was able to get in the chair twice today and walk a bit around the room. She's having a rough time, but she's slowing improving.

I just went and got sliced roast beef , swiss and fresh baked rolls for a road trip

My buddy Steve and I are going to take our guitars to some wonderful high country meadows on the pines to palms highway.

Here's a picture of the road at night

And  here's a link to a blog about the trip with some more pictures

have a great day. I'll be back this evening.

No chair time today.

She yanked out her breathing tube and they spent most of the day stabilizing her pulse and oxygen levels

They have started food through a tube.instead of IV

Please keep the prayers coming!

Don't drink yourself out of your quit!!

It's a very interesting concept.

I've been doing some research on dopamine last night and this morning.

It would appear the release of dopamine influences everything we do even to the point of our choosing what we are going to have for dinner ("Oh that sounds good" associating a memory from the past to the pleasure we remember that food gave us.)

The two most driven animal instincts are food and sex which are both necessary for the survival of the species. Those two instincts are dopamine driven on purpose. That's how we are wired to survive.

Next time you go somewhere outside your space, be aware of where you glance when you enter a new space. Your eyes will automatically seek out the first place danger may come from, then 2 and then 3 before you've fully surveyed the space you are entering for surprises. We do this automatically. So automatically that we don't notice we are doing it. I point this out for obvious reasons.

They say the brain releases more dopamine before sex or a meal than after and that in fact dopamine level's crash afterwards.

When we overdo an addiction such as food or meth amphetamines, cocaine or heroin, we can destroy the dopamine receptors.

Nicotine hijacked our dopamine release system. Pleasure is associated with smoking because of the dopamine release the nicotine caused.

A major requirement to becoming free of nicotine addiction would be to find other ways to stimulate its release until our system can regulate itself back to normal.

So, A hobby, music, exercise would be the more healthy alternatives to drugs or food.

Find your reward, that something that gives you a sense of satisfaction and replace the nicotine need cycle with something more healthy.

I emailed her daughter a few hours ago and she sent a response.

Nancy is having a tough go of it.

She was able to sit in a chair for a short time this morning.

That's all she could tell me.

please keep the prayer coming for her

None is the contraction of Not One

If you are smoking after you've quit, You're doing it wrong.

Quitting smoking may seem like denial to the addict part of us but it's really a choice.

If you choose to quit, you are not denying yourself, you are following your wishes.

Be willing to be uncomfortable for awhile.

If people really analyzed all the "pain" they think they are going through, they would realize it started in their own minds and they blew it up into something uncontrollable. In fact, it was always controllable.

Decide, Be willing. Ride it out.

Time is your friend. Smoking will go away when you decide it will and give it the time it takes.

this is a journey whether you slip/fail/smoke or not. it doesn't end if you smoke again, unless you leave and go back to smoking for years. even then, they would be valuable to you.

SO>>>>SAVE YOUR HISTORY- Consider Your Blogs The Medical Records Of Your Quit

they will help you and us see where your thinking was. I certainly can't remember everyone's history and having the writings to go back and read would be helpful for me to help you.

Keep track of how many bad days you have in the 100 days after your first month? Write it down

I believe the reason people give in during those 100 days of No Mans Land is because they get a craving that lasts a few days.

You've possibly not experienced this before in your quit or, it's been awhile. That's why it's so surprising.

I don't think many have more than 10 days out of that 100 that are bad days, perhaps less. They just seem more distressing because they can be in a row.

I remember days 53-55 were extermely difficult for me. And I remember a couple days stacked after I reached the triple digits.

Write it down.

You've made it through the first month. Don't give up in NO Mans Land and you will most likely NEVER have a 2 or 3 day crave again.

Use your tools that got you through the first month and you will get through.

One of her daughters (the second one) said she would keep me updated.

Evidently the problem was caused by scar tissue (adhesions?) from a previous surgery.

This surgery was more significant than expected and thus the ICU for recovery.

Keep the prayers coming. She's not out of the woods yet.

Thanks again.

Her daughter emailed earlier and said she will be in ICU for a couple more days until shes strong enough



Posted by jonescarp.aka.dale.Jan_2007 Apr 8, 2014

I've tried her cell a couple times today and finally called the hospital.

I was told she was in ICU and directed to her nurse who said she could not give out her condition to anyone but family.

I don't have either of her daughters numbers as I have never spoken with them and they don't know me from adam ant.

So, the next time I call I shall disquise my voice and identify myself as brother Dale. LOL

I guess I should wait until the shift changes?

for all those praying for her, let's lift her up.

and may the surgeon be a............. smooth good operator


I spoke with Nancy this morning and she said she is going to be required to have surgery becase if these kind of blockages don't clear up on their own in 2 days, they probably aren't going to.

She will be trying to get relocated to a larger up to date hospital prior to the surgery.

She thanks you for the prayers. Please keep them coming.




Nancy has tried to get into the larger hospital but they are overwhelmed right now and would probably want to redo all the tests she's already had where she is so rather than risk the delay, she has approved having the surgery where she is and will let me know what the surgery schedule is at any time.

I got this message in my inbox last night in my facebook quit smoking group.


Do you have any info on quitting nicotine lozenges...I have quit has been 2 1/2 years. Now I am just as addicted to the lozenges...maybe even worse because I can use them anywhere and anytime I want to. Really want to end this addiction!!! I would have never quit smoking without them...but still addicted to nicotine. Thanks for any suggestions you can give me! I have tried a couple times to quit them...but get so upset, hysterical, etc. It seems to get worse after about a this normal?



how many are you using a day? You need to gradually cut down.


I've helped a few people on get off the gum.


you need to taper down to about 5mg of nicotine a day and then get off of it.


there will be three days of uncomfortableness and another 2-2 1/2 weeks of roller coaster emotions, and the remainder of the physical withdrawal symptoms.


I use probably 10 to 20 a day...depending on how the day is going. I have tried to cut down...but when I am having a bad day I end up using more. I feel like I can't concentrate at work or even to drive... I have a lot of anxiety even when not trying to quit.


Actually the first 3 days weren't that seems like the longer I go...the worse it gets! The couple times I tried...I never made it past a week.


Are there any natural supplements that help? I have tried to research this online but can't find much info... Thanks!


Answer #2


did you have anxiety before you quit smoking? if so, did you ever have medication for anxiety?


to be continued


You can get a decent digital camera for around $100.

Everything else is free

Hobbies create joy and satisfaction and that equals dopamine

I spoke with Nancy this morning but she couldn't tell me much more. One of her daughters was going to be there for the day momentarily.

I told her to tell the hospital she didn't sign up for tube-a lessons. That didn't go over so well.

please keep the prayers coming for her

PS I  would bet there are nicotine addicts smoking somewhere with a tube down their nose and throat.


I just spoke with Nancy. She met with a gastro surgeon today. they still haven't figured out what the problem is although they do know its in the upper (small) intestine.

the paramedics took her to the closest hospital and as its a small community hospital, she is going ro try and get moved to the UMBC hospital for surgery as they have a much better ICU unit.

She wanted me to thank youfor your prayers

More tomorrow

She was in severe pain all day and I finally convinced her to call an ambulance. (why are we so stubborn?)

Would you please put up some prayers and good vibes for her?


PS: I am assuming a dr. will be making the rounds any time now and I will keep you updated



It looks like she is going to be in there a while. She can't have any food or liquids and is strictly on IV's

Obstructed bowel diagnosed from a CAT scan last night.

Please keep her in your prayers.

Will anger keep you quit?

Will fear keep you quit?

Will disgust keep you quit?

We've all been angry at ourselves for smoking at one time or another but we smoothed it over by smoking.

We've all had people close to us suffer and die from smoking that has scared us. We smoothed that over by smoking.

We've all felt smaller than small having to hide somewhere in a public place to smoke, seeing the burns in our shirt, avoiding that kiss because we were afraid to offend but,  we smoked anyway.

So what is it that is going to set you up for your forever quit?

Willingness and acceptance to give quitting the time it takes to grab hold and overtake the thoughts of smoking that drive us to do it.

Give it the time it takes.

You are worth it. It gets better and better. Give it 130 days to build your new foundation and enjoy the ride.


or in a place you've been before.

this is why we stress not giving in.

nothing is going to grab you by the hair, drag you to the mini mart, buy you a pack of smokes, jam one in your mouth, light it and squeeze you like an accordian.

only you can choose to smoke. DON'T. It will get better

Don't fight your quit, embrace it!

Smoking after you've quit is like a car accident. you don't know how your injuries are going to heal.

So Please......Drive Carefully!

if you could get a dopamine release every time you thought of having a smoke after you quit, would it make it easier for you to accept and cope?

chocolate causes a release of dopamine. Red hots cause a release of dopamine.

A toll house morsel has 2 calories

A red hot has 3 calories.

Why couldn't you fill a RX bottle with the equivalent of how many cigarettes you smoked a day in red hots or chocolate morsels?

The fact the you are getting the dopamine release is one good point, but, the reminder that it is not a cigarette giving it keeps your mind on why you are carrying around that pill bottle and that is to unlearn reaching for a cig.

Caution: That state trooper or highway patrolman may react funny if there's a description of a white oval pill on the bottle so remove it before you have some splainin' to do.

Also: Only ONE morsel per cigarette you would have normally smoked or you may become "overly morselated."

PS Cinnamon toothpicks are good if you feel the need to have something in your mouth.

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