If you are using an NRT, why would you NEED to smoke? If the nicotine dependency is being satisfied, doesn't this prove that the rest is a head game?
If you are ready to quit you do not need open the window to failing by giving yourself permission to smoke before you even start. These messages of expected failure must be rejected by the mind of the successful quitter.
Only you can give yourself permission to smoke.
Realize that forgetting about something you did so many times isn't going to just go away in a week or a month. It takes time to unlearn that hand to mouth habit. It takes time to mentally disconnect from thinking of smoking many times a day, every day.
It is a decision, then, It is a mind game but, most of all, It is a process.
Don't give up. Quitting won't kill you, SMOKING WILL
Why go through it over and over? You don't learn anything quitting over and over except how to give in.