1. Law of Mechanical Repair ˆ After your hands become coated with grease, your nose will begin to itch and you'll have to pee.
2. Law of Gravity - Any tool, nut, bolt, screw, when dropped, will roll to the least accessible corner.
3. Law of Probability - The probability of being watched is directly proportional to the stupidity of your act.
4. Law of Random Numbers - If you dial a wrong number, you never get a busy signal and someone always answers.
6. Variation Law - If you change lines (or traffic lanes), the one you were in will always move faster than the one you are in now (works every time).
7. Law of the Bath - When the body is fully immersed in water, the telephone rings.
8. Law of Close Encounters - The probability of meeting someone you know increases dramatically when you are with someone you don't want to be seen with.
9. Law of the Result - When you try to prove to someone that a machine won't work, it will.
10. Law of Biomechanics - The severity of the itch is inversely proportional to the reach.
11.. Law of the Theater & Stadium - At any event, the people whose seats are furthest from the aisle, always arrive last. They are the ones who will leave their seats several times to go for food, beer, or the toilet and who leave early before the end of the performance or the game is over. The folks in the aisle seats come early, never move once, have long gangly legs or big bellies and stay to the bitter end of the performance. The aisle people also are very surly folk.
12. The Coffee Law - As soon as you sit down to a cup of hot coffee, your boss will ask you to do something which will last until the coffee is cold.
13. Murphy's Law of Lockers - If there are only 2 people in a locker room, they will have adjacent lockers.
14. Law of Physical Surfaces - The chances of an open-faced jelly sandwich landing face down on a floor, are directly correlated to the newness and cost of the carpet or rug.
15. Law of Logical Argument - Anything is possible if you don't know what you are talking about.
16. Brown's Law of Physical Appearance - If the clothes fit, they're ugly.
17. Oliver's Law of Public Speaking - A closed mouth gathers no feet.
18. Wilson's Law of Commercial Marketing Strategy - As soon as you find a product that you really like, they will stop making it.
19. Doctors' Law - If you don't feel well, make an appointment to go to the doctor, by the time you get there you'll feel better.. But don't make an appointment, and you'll stay sick.
Eat 200 Calories Less Per Day To Maintain Your Pre-Quit Weight And Learn To Say No To Food Pushers
Food pushers range from well-intentioned loved ones to total diet saboteurs. Regardless of their motivation, it's important to stick to your guns. You can always be honest and say that you're simply trying to eat healthier, but if that response gets ignored (or doesn't come easily), the following retorts to their food-forcing ways will keep you in control of what goes on your plate and in your mouth! Note: These tips work year-round at birthday parties, family get-togethers and Sunday brunches with friends alike! The Push: "It's my specialty, you have to try it!"
Your Response: "I will in a bit!"
Why It Works: Stalling is a great tactic with food pushers. Odds are the offender won't follow you around making sure you actually try the dish. If they catch up with you by the end of the party to ask what you thought, tell them that it slipped your mind but you'll be sure to try it next time.
The Push:"This [insert name of high-calorie dish] is my favorite. You'll love it!"
Your Response: "I had some already—so delicious!"
Why It Works: A white lie in this situation isn't going to hurt anybody. You'll get out of eating food you don't want or need, and the food pusher will have gotten a compliment on what probably is a delicious dish.
The Push: "It's just once a year!"
Your Response: "But I'll probably live to celebrate more holidays if I stick with my diet plan!"
Why It Works: People can sometimes see healthy eating as vain—a means to the end result of losing weight and looking better. It's harder for a food pusher to argue with you if you bring attention to the fact that you eat right and exercise for better health and a longer life. Looking good just happens to be a side effect!
The Push: "Looks like someone is obsessed with dieting…"
Your Response: "I wouldn't say obsessed, but I am conscious of what I eat."
Why It Works: Words like "food snob" or "obsessed" are pretty harsh when they're thrown around by food pushers. But don't let passive-aggressive comments like this bring you down—or make you veer away from your good eating intentions. Acknowledging your willpower and healthy food choices might influence others to be more conscious of what they eat. Sometimes you just have to combat food pushers with a little straightforward kindness.
The Push:"If you don't try my dish, I'm just going to have to force you to eat it!"
Your Response: "Sorry, but I don't like (or can't eat) [insert ingredient here]."
Why It Works: It's hard to argue with someone's personal food preferences. If someone doesn't like an ingredient whether its sweet potatoes, pumpkin, or butter, odds are that he or she hasn't liked it for a very long time. If you'd like to get creative with this one, go into detail about how you got sick on the ingredient as a kid or how your mom says you always threw it across the room as a baby. Who can argue with that?
The Push: "You need some meat on your bones."
Your Response: "Trust me, I'm in no danger of wasting away!"
Why It Works: This food push is definitely on the passive-aggressive side. Using humor to fight back will defuse any tension while making it clear where you stand.
The Push: "One bite isn't going to kill you."
Your Response: "I know, but once you pop you can't stop! And I'm sure it's so delicious I wouldn't be able to stop!"
Why It Works: This is another situation where humor will serve to distract the food pusher from his or her mission. It's a way to say "thanks, but no thanks" while making it clear that you're not interested in overindulging.
The Push: "But it's your favorite!"
Your Response: "I think I've overdosed on it; I just can't eat it anymore!"
Why It Works: If you have a favorite holiday dish that everyone knows you love, it can be especially tough to escape this push. If a loved one made the dish specifically for you, the guilt can be enough to push you over the edge. But people understand that food preferences change, and most have been in that situation of enjoying a dish so much that they can't touch it for awhile.
The Push: [Someone puts an extra helping on your plate without you asking.]
Your Response: Push it around with your fork like you did as a kid to make it look like you tried it.
Why It Works: While putting food on someone else's plate can be viewed as passive-aggressive, it was probably done with love. (Let's hope!) Making it look like you ate a bite or two can be an easy way out of the situation, but you can also just leave it alone and claim that you've already had your fill. (After all, you didn't add that extra helping!)
The Push: "Have another drink!"
Your Response: "I have to drive."
Why It Works: No one will argue with the fact that you want to drive home sober. If they do, you should have no qualms walking away from the conversation, period. If they offer a place for you to stay, you can always get out of the situation by blaming an early morning commitment or the fact that you need to get home to let the dog out. Kids will also get you out of everything.
The Push: "We have so many leftovers. Take some!"
Your Response: "That's OK! Just think, you'll have your meals for tomorrow taken care of."
Why It Works: Not every party guest wants to deal with the hassle of taking food with them, and this makes it clear that you'd rather the food stay. If the host is insistent, you can feign worry that they'll go bad in the car because you're not going straight home, or it'll go bad in your fridge because you've already been given so many leftovers at other parties recently. Or be polite and take them. You'll have more control of your food intake away from the party anyway. So whether you don't eat the leftovers at all or whether you split a piece of pie with your spouse, you're in control in this situation.
These tactics can work wonders in social situations, but honesty is sometimes the best policy. A simple "No, thank you" is hard for a food pusher to beat, especially if it's repeated emphatically. Remember, too, that it's okay to have treats in moderation, so don't deprive yourself of your favorite holiday foods. Just make sure that you're the one in control of your splurges—not a friend, family member or co-worker who doesn't know your fitness and health goals!
Quitting Smoking Is Learning About Yourself. If you choose to use an aid and think it quarantees Your Quit, You will probably fail. Use an aid as an aid. There are plenty of people here who have tried EVERYTHING.
If you are using the patch, learn what makes your habit tick while you are using it.
If you are using the gum, learn what drives you to use it so you aren't drooling for your
next piece for years and get off it as soon as you feel you can. You can always go off a day and see how you do.
I did this with the patch. 10 patches in the first 14 days. Then off. The 4 individual days within the 14 when I wasn't wearing the patch, I did not panic. I let myself experience the day without it and it let me see where I was. Remember, we know our bodies better than anyone because we live in them.
Thes TEMPORARY AIDS are to kickstart your quit while you learn what drove your smoking habit.
They are not intended to replace one nicotine fix with another INDEFINITELY.
Cigarettes and tobacco are part of the battle of release.
The other part is relinquishing the drug that keeps you coming back for your next fix.
Because smoking gives you the fastest nicotine delivery and after awhile, you just might crave that quick fix and go right back to it.