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All People > jonescarp.aka.dale.Jan_2007 > jonescarp.aka.dale.Jan_2007 Blog > 2011 > November
2011

Until they have to mow it.

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  1. Law of  Mechanical  Repair ˆ After  your hands  become coated with grease, your nose will begin  to itch and you'll have to  pee.

2. Law of  Gravity - Any tool,  nut, bolt, screw, when dropped, will roll to the  least accessible corner.

3. Law  of Probability - The  probability of being watched is directly proportional to the stupidity of your  act.

4. Law of  Random Numbers -  If you dial  a wrong number, you never get a busy signal and  someone always answers.

6. Variation  Law -  If you  change lines (or traffic lanes), the one you were in will always move faster than the one you  are in now (works every time).

7. Law  of the  Bath - When the  body is fully immersed in water, the telephone  rings.

8. Law  of Close Encounters - The  probability of meeting someone you know increases dramatically when you are with someone  you don't want to be seen  with.

9. Law  of the Result - When you  try to prove to someone that a machine won't  work, it will.

10. Law  of Biomechanics - The  severity of the itch is inversely proportional  to the reach.

11.. Law  of the Theater &  Stadium -  At any  event, the people whose seats are furthest from  the aisle, always arrive last. They are the ones who will leave their seats several times to go  for food, beer, or the toilet and who leave  early before the end of the performance or the  game is over.  The folks in the aisle seats  come early, never move once, have long gangly  legs or big bellies and stay to the bitter end  of the performance.  The aisle people also  are very surly folk.

12. The  Coffee Law -  As soon as  you sit down to a cup of hot coffee, your boss  will ask you to do something which will last  until the coffee is cold.

13. Murphy's  Law of Lockers -  If there are  only 2 people in a locker room, they will have  adjacent lockers.

14. Law  of Physical Surfaces - The chances  of an open-faced jelly sandwich landing face  down on a floor, are directly correlated to the newness and cost of the carpet or  rug.

15. Law of  Logical Argument - Anything is  possible if you don't know what you are talking  about.

16. Brown's Law  of Physical Appearance - If the  clothes fit, they're ugly.

17. Oliver's  Law of Public Speaking - A closed  mouth gathers no feet.

18. Wilson's  Law of Commercial Marketing  Strategy - As soon as  you find a product that you really like, they  will stop making it.

19. Doctors'  Law - If you  don't feel well, make an appointment to go to the doctor, by the time you get there you'll  feel better..  But don't make an  appointment, and you'll stay sick.

"Man bait"-bacon and maple syrup lollipops

Unicorn meat. (No Kidding)

Bacon with a 10 year shelf life

 

Post em if you got em

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E     A                          Bm         E         A

We gather together to ask the Lord’s blessing;
        E                   F#m          B7                 E

He chastens and hastens His will to make known.

         E7             A                     Bm    E          A
The wicked oppressing now cease from distressing.
          D                 C#m             Bm  E           A

Sing praises to His Name; He forgets not His own.

E     A                                   Bm         E         A

Beside us to guide us, our God with us joining,
        E                   F#m             B7                 E

Ordaining, maintaining His kingdom divine;

         E7             A               Bm    E             A

So from the beginning the fight we were winning;
          D                            C#m     Bm  E           A

Thou, Lord, were at our side, all glory be Thine!

E     A                                     Bm         E A

We all do extol Thee, Thou Leader triumphant,
        E                        F#m             B7              E

And pray that Thou still our Defender will be.
         E7             A          Bm    E          A
Let Thy congregation escape tribulation;
          D                      C#m         Bm     E           A

Thy Name be ever praised! O Lord, make us free!

  
   

teresabb32

  
  
   
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I appreciate the small things more than ever.

I hope you do too.

Drained crumbled sausage and apples is what I add along with apple cider instead of water or broth

  
   
     usamortgagecalc 
  
  
   

usamortgagecalc

  
  
   
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omnang223455

  
  
   
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     omnang1156 
  
  
   

omnang1156

  

We are here to teach you how.

Listen

Ask

Learn

Be Free

I'm not smoking over it!

  
   

Santiagongunhu563

  
  
   
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       Dave   
    
    
     

Dave

    
   
   
    
     
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asdgrwewe

    
   
   
    
     
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krasavitsa

    
   
   
    
     
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cajhsameeuu

    
   
  

I'm not smoking over it

  
   

I wonder what their purpose is and why the mystery

   

 

   


  
  
   
     asklmasklm 
  
  
   

asklmasklm

  
  
   
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     beplengoi2 
  
  
   

beplengoi2

  
  
   
     Darcey 
  

Yet, I see people here ecouraging people to continue using nicotine ad infinitum.

"Whatever works for you"

"I ain't afraid of a little lozenge"

 


Pure Dung

  
   

treacles

  
  
   
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r3altalk

  
  
   
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jjust1twofive

  
  
   
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DizzyM93

  
  
   
     theresa 
  
  
   

theresa

  
  
   
     12345pj 
  
  
   

12345pj

  

In the beginning you may be in a fog

But read the link below this, then say hi to the Hog.

https://excommunity.becomeanex.org/blogs/jonescarp.aka.dale.Jan_2007-blog/2011/06/26/what-to-expect-in-the-first-four-months

  
   

Another Group Of Soon To Be Exers??  Woo Hoo!!

  
  
   
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cherinec5

    
   
   
    
     
       J. Dale   
    
    
     

J. Dale

    
   
   
    
     
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"I did some of those things. I like to horse around.


"That would be disrespectful" 

 

(IN DENILE)

Eat 200 Calories Less Per Day To Maintain Your Pre-Quit Weight And Learn To Say No To Food Pushers

Food pushers range from well-intentioned loved ones to total diet saboteurs. Regardless of their motivation, it's important to stick to your guns. You can always be honest and say that you're simply trying to eat healthier, but if that response gets ignored (or doesn't come easily), the following retorts to their food-forcing ways will keep you in control of what goes on your plate and in your mouth!
 
Note: These tips work year-round at birthday parties, family get-togethers and Sunday brunches with friends alike!
 
The Push: "It's my specialty, you have to try it!"

  
   Your Response: "I will in a bit!" 
  
   Why It Works: Stalling is a great tactic with food pushers. Odds are the offender won't follow you around making sure you actually try the dish. If they catch up with you by the end of the party to ask what you thought, tell them that it slipped your mind but you'll be sure to try it next time.

 
The Push: "This [insert name of high-calorie dish] is my favorite. You'll love it!"

  
   Your Response: "I had some already—so delicious!" 
  
   Why It Works: A white lie in this situation isn't going to hurt anybody. You'll get out of eating food you don't want or need, and the food pusher will have gotten a compliment on what probably   is a delicious dish.

 
The Push: "It's just once a year!"

  
   Your Response: "But I'll probably live to celebrate more holidays if I stick with my diet plan!" 
  
   Why It Works: People can sometimes see healthy eating as vain—a means to the end result of losing weight and looking better. It's harder for a food pusher to argue with you if you bring attention to the fact that you eat right and exercise for better   health and a longer life. Looking good just happens to be a side effect!

 
The Push: "Looks like someone is obsessed with dieting…"

  
   Your Response: "I wouldn't say obsessed, but I am conscious of what I eat." 
  
   Why It Works: Words like "food snob" or "obsessed" are pretty harsh when they're thrown around by food pushers. But don't let passive-aggressive comments like this bring you down—or make you veer away from your good eating intentions. Acknowledging your willpower and healthy food choices might influence others to be more conscious of what they eat. Sometimes you just have to combat food pushers with a little straightforward kindness.

 
The Push: "If you don't try my dish, I'm just going to have to force you to eat it!"

  
   Your Response: "Sorry, but I don't like (or can't eat) [insert ingredient here]." 
  
   Why It Works: It's hard to argue with someone's personal food preferences. If someone doesn't like an ingredient whether its   sweet potatoes, pumpkin, or butter, odds are that he or she hasn't liked it for a very long time. If you'd like to get creative with this one, go into detail about how you got sick on the ingredient as a kid or how your mom says you always threw it across the room as a baby. Who can argue with that?

 
The Push: "You need some meat on your bones."

  
   Your Response: "Trust me, I'm in no danger of wasting away!"
  
   Why It Works: This food push is definitely on the passive-aggressive side. Using humor to fight back will defuse any tension while making it clear where you stand. 

 
The Push: "One bite isn't going to kill you."

  
   Your Response: "I know, but once you pop you can't stop! And I'm sure it's so delicious I wouldn't be able to stop!" 
  
   Why It Works: This is another situation where humor will serve to distract the food pusher from his or her mission. It's a way to say "thanks, but no thanks" while making it clear that you're not interested in overindulging.

 
The Push: "But it's your favorite!"

  
   Your Response: "I think I've overdosed on it; I just can't eat it anymore!" 
  
   Why It Works: If you have a favorite holiday dish that everyone knows you love, it can be especially tough to escape this push. If a loved one made the dish specifically for you, the guilt can be enough to push you over the edge. But people understand that food preferences change, and most have been in that situation of enjoying a dish so much that they can't touch it for awhile.

 
The Push: [Someone puts an extra helping on your plate without you asking.]

  
   Your Response: Push it around with your fork like you did as a kid to make it look like you tried it. 
  
   Why It Works: While putting food on someone else's plate can be viewed as passive-aggressive, it was probably done with love. (Let's hope!) Making it look like you ate a bite or two can be an easy way out of the situation, but you can also just leave it alone and claim that you've already had your fill. (After all, you didn't add that extra helping!)

 
The Push: "Have another drink!"

  
   Your Response: "I have to drive." 
  
   Why It Works: No one will argue with the fact that you want to drive home sober. If they do, you should have no qualms walking away from the conversation, period. If they offer a place for you to stay, you can always get out of the situation by blaming an early morning commitment or the fact that you need to get home to let the dog out. Kids will also get you out of everything.

 
The Push: "We have so many leftovers. Take some!"
 

   Your Response: "That's OK! Just think, you'll have your meals for tomorrow taken care of."   
  
   Why It Works: Not every party guest wants to deal with the hassle of taking food with them, and this makes it clear that you'd rather the food stay. If the host is insistent, you can feign worry that they'll go bad in the car because you're not going straight home, or it'll go bad in your fridge because you've already been given so many leftovers at other parties recently. Or be polite and take them. You'll have more control of your food intake away from the party anyway. So whether you don't eat the leftovers at all or whether you split a piece of pie with your spouse, you're in control in this situation.

 

These tactics can work wonders in social situations, but honesty is sometimes the best policy. A simple "No, thank you" is hard for a food pusher to beat, especially if it's repeated emphatically. Remember, too, that it's okay to have treats in moderation, so don't deprive yourself of your favorite holiday foods. Just make sure that you're the one in control of your splurges—not a friend, family member or co-worker who doesn't know your fitness and health goals!

  
   

Schmidgygkhj

  
  
   
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leshamc

    
   
   
    
     
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22sgede2

    
   
   
    
     
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       hexhax   
    
    
     

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       iwannaquit   
    
    
     

joshfeiner23

    
   
  

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Read Here & Learn

Honor Your Decision To Not Smoke

Loose Lighters Kill Fighters

Alcohol Makes You Fall


As I was sitting in the waiting room, one of them smokers came out the hallway door from the exam rooms.

I could tell because even though she had to go down a floor and walk another 50 feet to the exit door, she

was already pulling her cigarettes out of her purse as I watched. You know what was coming out next.

I can't tell you because I couldn't bear to look. LOL

A friend asked me to consider quitting smoking so I might influence his brother to quit.

I took a month from that point and started testing myself by saying, "I'm going to wait a while longer"when I got the urge to smoke.

After three weeks I went from a pack a day to 5 a day. 

I never denied myself. I never got uptight.

I proved to myself that I actually did have control.

VERY POWERFUL REALIZATION

I bought my last pack on the Friday before New Years which fell on a Monday.

I saved one for Tuesday morning. Smoked it at 7am and went to buy the patch.

That will be 5 years ago, Jan 2.

.

.

When you get a effin' crave

Don't get in a stark mad rave

Come post "HELP" right here my friend

You'll get help or do it again

I'm Voting For Cain's Brother Abel For President! (look it up. LOL)

jonescarp.aka.dale.Jan_2007

OUCH!!

Posted by jonescarp.aka.dale.Jan_2007 Nov 7, 2011

WHY I'M DEPRESSED!

     
      
       
        
         
          

Over five thousand years ago, Moses said to the children of Israel , Pick up your shovels, mount your asses and camels, and I will lead you to the Promised Land."

Nearly 75 years ago, (when Welfare was introduced) Roosevelt said, "Lay down your shovels, sit on your asses, and light up a Camel, this is the Promised Land."

Today, Congress has stolen your shovel, taxed our asses, raised the price of Camels and mortgaged the Promised Land!

I was so depressed last night thinking about Health Care Plans, the economy, the wars, lost jobs, savings, Social Security, retirement funds, etc... . I called a Suicide Hotline.


I had to press 1 for English.

I was connected to a call center in Pakistan . I told them I was suicidal. They got excited and  asked if I could drive a truck..

Folks, we're screwed!

         
        
       
      
     

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Do you say "oh that was just luck, I'll never be able to do that again ."


OR


Does the fact you made the shot show prove you can do it and make you want to perfect the shot so you can do it every time?

 

If you make it through today without smoking, you can make it through tomorrow. And, luck has nothing to do with it


SCREW NICOTINE!!

YOU HAVE NADA!

jonescarp.aka.dale.Jan_2007

Row Row

Posted by jonescarp.aka.dale.Jan_2007 Nov 5, 2011

THAT AFTER THE DECISON TO BOMBARD US WITH ONSITE ADVERTISING TO GENERATE REVENUE

THAT THERE IS STILL NO ONE AROUND TO DELETE SPAM OR SPAMMERS.

EVEN ONES WHO WERE REPORTED A WEEK AGO ARE STILL POSTING

.

Quitting Smoking Is Learning About Yourself. If you choose to use an aid and think it quarantees Your Quit, You will probably fail. Use an aid as an aid. There are plenty of people here who have tried EVERYTHING.

If you are using the patch, learn what makes your habit tick while you are using it.

If you are using the gum, learn what drives you to use it so you aren't drooling for your

next piece for years and get off it as soon as you feel you can. You can always go off a day and see how you do.

I did this with the patch. 10 patches in the first 14 days. Then off. The 4 individual days within the 14 when I wasn't wearing the patch,  I did not panic. I let myself experience the day without it and it let me see where I was. Remember, we know our bodies better than anyone because we live in them.

Thes  TEMPORARY AIDS are to kickstart your quit while you learn what drove your smoking habit.

They are not intended to replace one nicotine fix with another INDEFINITELY.

Cigarettes and tobacco are part of the battle of release.

The other part is relinquishing the drug that  keeps you coming back for your next fix. 


Why? 

Because smoking gives you the fastest nicotine delivery and after awhile, you just might crave that quick fix and go right back to it.

Nothing guarantees your quit but you

LETS SEE HOW LONG ITS UP!

THAT CIGARETTE YOU ADDICT!


(Maybe if we taught everyone how to resize their pictures to 400 pixels max in width right before they posted, admin could still keep their ads and we could be happy too?)

What Kind Of Checks And Balances Is This?

People need to be accountable and shown as they are if they go off on someone!!

It shows their true character and is an example to inform others by leaving a trail of truth.

1.  Whenever I try to go to the next page back of blogs...It won't do it. NOW WORKING!

2. Graphics are sometimes a critical part of a blog and don't seem to show until you go to the actual blog.

(I guess I'll have to start putting "sex" in the title of every blog to get peoples attention)

3.  Everytime someone I know posts a blog, it comes to my gmail.

I'm getting like 4 times as many emails. Can we set what gets through?

And The Same Spammer Runs Freely Posting Their Crap.

When will an upgrade be about eliminating this person who leaves 4 spam blogs in a row

2 or three times a day??? How about an IP tracker ???

Cautions

This treatment may cause

hairy soles

Dropping your keys has been noted in many individuals.

Nicorrhoids

A gap in your Schizm

Eyeball eruptions

numerous other things that are too scary to tell you about

  

Sanvidgefdgdgh6542b

  

The first name is pronouncable but the last name is alien to me.

.

Is she still quit?

.

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