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2011
jonescarp.aka.dale.Jan_2007

LOLOL

Posted by jonescarp.aka.dale.Jan_2007 Jul 30, 2011

The Parking Ticket


The other day I went downtown to run a few errands. I went into the local
coffee shop for a snack. I was only there for about 5 minutes, and when I
came out, there was this cop writing out a parking ticket.


I said to him, 'Come on, man, how about giving a retired person a break'?

He ignored me and continued writing the ticket. His insensitivity annoyed
me, so I called him a '****.' He glared at me and then wrote out another
ticket for having worn tires.

So I proceeded to call him a 'doughnut eating Gestapo.' He finished the
second ticket and put it on the windshield with the first. Then he wrote a
third ticket when I called him a 'moron in blue.'

This went on for about 20 minutes. The more I talked back to him the more
tickets he wrote.

Personally, I didn't really care. I came downtown on the bus, and the car
that he was putting the tickets on had one of those bumper stickers that
said, ' Obama 2012.'


I try to have a little fun each day now that I'm retired. The doctor tells
me that it's important for my health.

.

She had just found out her mother in California had passed away.

She called because she really wanted to smoke.

Tam isn't religious in the Christian sense but she has the sensitivity and inner

beauty that is God given.

So, I ask you for your care and emotional support of her during this difficult time.of loss

(((((Tamarale)))))

jonescarp.aka.dale.Jan_2007

Fat Habits

Posted by jonescarp.aka.dale.Jan_2007 Jul 26, 2011

See first response

DO WE NEED A TURD PARTY?

Demuglycans?

Flea and the Powders/?

Lynn-do and the beans?


Don't Smoke!

A TEST FOR 'OLD KIDS'  


01. After the Lone Ranger saved the day and rode off into the sunset, the grateful citizens would always ask, "Who was that masked man?" Invariably, someone would answer, "I don't know, but he left this behind." What did he leave behind?________________.

 02.When the Beatles first came to the U.S. In early 1964, we all watched them on The_______________ Show.

 03. Get your kicks, __________________.'

 04. 'The story you are about to see is true. The names have been changed to ___________________.'

 05. 'In the jungle, the mighty jungle,________________.'

 06. After the Twist, The Mashed Potato, and the Watusi, we 'danced' under a stick that was lowered as low as we could go in a dance called the '_____________.'

 07. Nestle's makes the very best _______________.'

 08. Satchmo was America 's 'Ambassador of Goodwill.' Our parents shared this great jazz trumpet player with us. His name was _________________.

 09. What takes a licking and keeps on ticking? _____________.

 10. Red Skeleton's hobo character was named__________________ and Red always ended his television show by saying, 'Good Night, and '________________.'
 
  11. Some Americans who protested the Vietnam War did so by burning their______________.

 12.The cute little car with the engine in the back and the trunk in the front was called the VW. What other names did it go by?____________ & _______________.

 13.In 1971, singer Don MacLean sang a song about, 'the day the music died.' This was a tribute to  ___________________.

 14.We can remember the first satellite placed into orbit. The Russians did it. It was called ___________________.

 15.One of the big fads of the late 50's and early 60's was a large plastic ring that we twirled around our waist. It was called the ______________.
 
  16. When Jimmy Durante ended his TV show he always signed off the same way, 'Goodnight ____________, wherever you are.' Who did he wish goodnight to? _______

Accept that you're going to quit.

learn about your habit until you are ready

and then,

don't panic.

 

This is you

You gave  away the power

You gave away your control.

Take it back!

the one's we didn't even really enjoy?

just how much mindless smoking did we do?

Pictures at 11


This is definitely a time I would've been a Chimney

 

I just cleaned out my truck liner. there sure was a lot of trash I never put back there.

And those ridges, packed solid with crud.

I guess when people throw their trash in your truck It's a sign of respect, right?

Here’s how I post a picture or graphic

you need a free photobucket account (Flickr or Picassa Web May work also)
then, you need to upload your pictures from your pc that you want to use in order to obtain link codes which are the whole secret to this

If you want to get a picture from google or some other site, you need to download it by right clicking and then choosing save while you are hovered over it.

That downloads it to your desktop or temp files folder or your downloads folder.
then you upload it to photo bucket same as before (photobucket just changed-REVISION)
you then hover over the top edge of the picture in photobucket and there will be a dropdown list

after it is uploaded you go to the folder you put it in in photobucket and click on the picture and on the right down about mid page you will see 4 choices. you click on the choice you want on the left and on the right you will see copied show up where the code was for an instant. this means it's been copied to the clipboard/memory of your computer.
(direct link for layout pages is the one you use for blogs]

then you open the little icon on the right above the text area of your blog on the ex page and paste it into the top open white space by right clicking and choosing paste.

then you size it so it doesn't take up the whole page where it says height and width. put your mouse in the top one of those two and it will show you the original size of the photo example 1024 x768.
you type the size you want in the upper of the two boxes say 400 and that will adjust the bottom number automatically,

then you choose save. Voila you see your picture in the message box
if it isn't the right size choose edit and hit the backspace button to erase that attempt. recopy the link from photobucket to the photo icon and try the sizing again.
then you add any text you want and choose publish.

If you want to put pictures on someone’s message board you choose the link code that  starts with <a and ends with a>

Will you ever forget you smoked?

When you see someone smoking? When you see a cigarette?When you smell a cigarette?

Maybe not BUT is that an urge OR a memory?

I say it's a memory.

What's the difference?

An urge in indicates you are wanting to participate. A memory is just that, a rememberance of smoking.

So, don't think just because you smoked you will have urges to smoke the rest of your life.

it ain't necessarily so!

We know what it takes and we want to give you the answers.

If you are considering quitting, learn what it entails.

Figure out what makes you want to smoke and hold it out in the daylight and give it a good look.

 

Quitting isn't so bad, it's the fear of quitting that's bad.

BEFORE

AFTER

if there are any quitters near Woodruff, Wisconsin?

1. Death By Email

2. The 4 Pound Roast I Just Saw For Sale Online for $180.00 ($45/lb?)

3. The New Mango Pineapple Concoction At McD's. Have you had one?

4. The High Cost Of Tacos Worldwide. Freejoles Anyone?

5. Do They Have Your Rear Bumper At The Junkyard?

6. Wearing apesuits when the shuttle lands. (This is Abbra's idea)

7. Raising My Debt Ceiling.

8. How Much Money That Contractor Got For Finishing The Freeway Demolition 18 hours early.

9. I only get about 10 Sheets per Roll Of Toilet Paper. It specifically states 200 sheets per roll on the package.

10. The only way to be happy with a banana is to buy one at a time. The extras ripen too fast.



Morning


Afternoon

each day quit is a success.

let it drive you through the next day and then

let that one take you through the next.

that's how you succeed at this.

by knowing you made it through the day before and not focusing on

the negative.

quitting is a process.

you smoked for years.

give yourself 130 days with a positive attitude and see if you don't feel like a nonsmoker.

There was a man on a flight from LAX to Utah. Well, evidently there are no electronic devices allowed and

when the  flight attendent told him he had to put it away, he started throwing peanuts at her.

Authorities were waiting in Salt Lake to arrest him.

He faces up to 20 years in jail for what he did.

 

 

Oh yeah, the device was an electronic cigarette.

LOL

..

Why wait until your health is shot? 

It is what you make it.

I was a full time smoker for 40 years. I have been quit for over 4 1/2 years.

I never wanted to quit and I didn't have to quit for health reasons.

My best friend suggested it would be a good thing for me and asked me if I would consider it so that his

brother would be encouraged to quit.

So over the next month I considerd it and started saying "wait a little longer" between smokes.

it was self fulfilling. I was cutting down and after a few weeks, I was down to 1/3 a pack a day

I never limited myself to an amount per day, so I was never stressed out about it.

After about 3 1/2 weeks I knew I was buying my last pack.

Again, I smoked for 40 years FULL TIME.

So don't get stressed. Relax into it.

Decide and its very doable.

I learned to laugh when I craved.

So take the pressure off yourself. It will be what you make it.

This is the place to learn and do.

PS

I used 10 patches over my first 14 days  and stepped off.

This is called you controlling your quit, not, your quit controlling you.

I heard some extremely loud crunching on the other side of the room at 3am.

I knew it wasn't "the hog" because he chews with his mouth closed.

so, i turned on the light and i saw a body hunched over the cat food but it was not hoggie.

i was clapping my hands trying to get it to go outside and it went the opposite direction and

dissappeared into the bathroom.

i walked towards the bathroom talking gently so as not to frighten it.

i peered inside.

it wasn't in the shower, the cabinet doors were closed and then i saw it, staring sheepishly

at me from behind the toilet. i walked toward it giving it full berth on the side it was hiding on.

i spoke gently and it scurried past me and out the sliding glass door in the next room.

what was it?

We can't help you if you give up before you let us.

 

Then, wait 10 minutes and read the responses.

If you still feel shaky, post HELP! again.

No excuses to smoke

and then coached in to knockoff bag and thrown into molten lava

People who smoke are pretty selfish to those around them.

Oh sure, they acccepted us and our crutch. What else could they do?


I remember sneaking out of church right after I led the worship service to smoke. [more than once]

In fact ALL THE TIME! The keyboard player smoked too.

We'd come back in the side door just before the last song.

Is that addiction or what?


I remember leaving my family while the restaurant bill was prepared to go outside and smoke.

What was said when I was outside smoking? I don't have one clue and I didn't care at the time.

 

There were plenty of events and special times I passed up because I couldn't smoke.


You can't get those times back but the future without smoking choices is all yours.


The damage to our bodies is one thing.

The things we missed out on [and may regret] are just as big.

When you let smoking go, it's a fresh start.

What are you waiting for?.  Join Us!

THEY WILL PASS RIGHT ON OVER!

how simple is that?

don't get bogged down in bowl-sh*t

You see, that's what i think this place is about.

we were no different than you.

we all started at the same place with the same apprehension.

we were each led out of addiction to tobacco by seeing others do it.

we lead by example and you lead those right behind you.

it's an awesome but joyful responsibility we don't take lightly.

decide

work on a good attitude and feed it.

help someone and you help yourself

Peanut butter sticks, quits don't.

Quits start with a decision that you won't smoke no matter what !

Quits are earned and kept by saying no when you are tempted and tired.

Quits are grown by small victories that accumulate.

Quits don't give up.

People Do.

 

Learn and Live

www.quitsmokingonline.com

www.whyquit.com

Always around for some Butt Kicking

A dumb-ass spammer pushing hair

As they remembered it?  Is Romancing A Memory.

People who quit for a couple months and relapse say it tastes horrible.

Why do you think it would be any different for you?

The only thing you would get is the nicotine buzz

You would have to relearn the love of smoking.

they are landing here in 10 minutes.

i'm not going to smoke over it.

.

The "No Motivation" Song..


By far the biggest stumbling block for many in the beginning is getting motivated to do ANYTHING.


You may feel like a "turd in baggie" without direction.

You don't want to work, you feel like you could sleep all day, it's hard to focus on anything.

you are like a total vegetable.


as long as you dont smoke, this is all normal.

Your sleep may be less at night and, not by choice.


Your body is detoxing and it takes some time. this is the time you must find something that holds your

interest that is your light in the middle of the darkness.

Some people meditate

some people pray

Some people work out

Some Knit

Some Craft

Some Scrapbook

Some write music or paint or sing or dance.

 

This is your new chance at living.

Why not pick something you always wanted to do or something you've tried

that you enjoyed and haven't done in a long time?

You need something you can turn to that distracts you from the lack of motivation which will only fuel

despondency and possibly losing your quit.

Find something you love


One more thing


If you get a HORRIBLE CRAVING>

Bite into a lemon, skin and all.

Your mind will jump right off the cravy train.

.

Make sure you ALLOW COMMENTS!!

  

I want to share this with you. I hope all of you have a safe, blessed and fun filled 4th of July.

                     

Have you ever wondered what happened to the 56 men

who signed the Declaration of Independence ?

Five signers were captured by the British as traitors,and tortured before they died.
Twelve had their homes ransacked and burned.

Two lost their sons serving in the Revolutionary Army;

another had two sons captured.
Nine of the 56 fought and died from wounds or

hardships of the Revolutionary War.
They signed and they pledged their lives, their fortunes,

and their sacred honor.
What kind of men were they?  Twenty-four were lawyers and jurists.  Eleven were merchants,

nine were farmers and large plantation owners;

men of means, well educated,

but they signed the Declaration of Independence

knowing full well that the penalty would be death if

they were captured.

Carter Braxton of Virginia, a wealthy planter and

trader, saw his ships swept from the seas by the

British Navy. He sold his home and properties to

pay his debts, and died in rags.

Thomas McKeam was so hounded by the British

that he was forced to move his family almost constantly.

He served in the Congress without pay, and his family

was kept in hiding. His possessions were taken from him,

and poverty was his reward.

Vandals or soldiers looted the properties of Dillery, Hall, Clymer,

Walton, Gwinnett, Heyward, Ruttledge, and Middleton.

At the battle of Yorktown , Thomas Nelson, Jr., noted that

the British General Cornwallis had taken over the Nelson

home for his headquarters. He quietly urged General

George Washington to open fire. The home was destroyed,

and Nelson died bankrupt.

Francis Lewis had his home and properties destroyed.

The enemy jailed his wife, and she died within a few months.

John Hart was driven from his wife's bedside as she was dying.

Their 13 children fled for their lives. His fields and his gristmill

were laid to waste. For more than a year he lived in forests

and caves, returning home to find his wife dead and his

children vanished.

So, take a few minutes while enjoying your 4th of July holiday and

silently thank these patriots. It's not much to ask for the price they paid.

Remember: freedom is never free!

I hope you will show your support by sending this to as many

people as you can, please. It's time we get the word out that patriotism

is NOT a sin, and the Fourth of July has more to it than beer,

picnics, and baseball games.

It's when a plane is landing and something like a vehicle or another plane enters the runway in the path of

the landing aircraft. So, even though the wheels touch momentarily they have to pull back up and get back in

line to land.

Lots of people who quit smoking do this in a way. Their quit is like the airliner in the sky in a landing pattern.

If they can land their quit, they succeed.

But they pretend their instructions from the control tower were in Russian and decide to do a touch and go

and smoke, instead of land.

And they often do these "touch and go's" OVER & OVER

This Morning's News:

A motorcycle rider participating in a ride against a mandatory helmet law had his bike fishtail and went over

the handlebars headfirst.

The examiner stated this man would have definitely lived had he been wearing a helmet.

I'm certain everyone who knew him is proud of his stubborness and his decision will erase

any and all sorrow.


NOW!

Can we talk about how much you love smoking before you find out how much you don't the hard way?

Rocks here

this blog is written not to suggest how you to quit. it is written to help get you thinking out of your box

and understand it really doesn't have to be a fearful experience. make it work your way.

my quit experience

i've been free of nicotine for over 4 1/2 years after 40 years because i decided to.

i didn't presuppose i couldn't do it based upon the "difficulty propaganda" we've  heard our entire lives.

i had no information on how to quit.

i started by telling myself to wait longer between smokes. pretty soon i was smoking half as much. that alone was empowering enough to keep me going. you see, i realized that i had some power over the addiction.

the end of the third week before i quit, i realized i was buying my last pack. i quit the next tuesday morning. i never built it up in my mind. i just let it happen and let the empowerment feed itself all the way along.

i used 10 patches during my first 14 days. the 4 days i forgot, i didn't panic, i knew if i really felt desparate i could drive home and get a patch.  I learned to laugh when I had a craving. It totally puts your head in a different place and let's you know you are winning.

i used those days to understand where the cravings were coming from and you know what? they were being driven by memories of smoking. The third day quit, I totally understood smoking was a choice

how could you do something 20 times or more a day for 40 years and expect to be able to forget about it in a week or two?  The truth is, you can't.

I read a medical study about the third month into my quit that said after 16 weeks, you were pretty much where you needed to be to be successful for life. For me? It was when reached for a ghost pack the first week into my 5th month quit while driving up the big hill to a job that I had still been a smoker on. It made me laugh.

So I say, give yourself 130 days. Most people are through no mans land about then

And, If you really love yourself?

Give yourself and those that love you the rest of your life as an ex-addict.

i texted it and she texted back a few minutes later.

she said she is still quit.

she said she has the web on her phone but can't see the whole site on her phone.

I don't know if you will see this Dena, but we miss you and are so proud you are not smoking.


big HUGS

Why go halfway?

Unlearning smoking automatically gets you away from the nicotine if you work it right.

There are quite a few stooges on facebook touting the e-cig as the next best thing to mothers milk.

They are still using it over a year after they quit?  When you tell them they are still nicotine addicts,

they press you for what you think of coffee drinkers. WTF does one have to do with the other?

I've never needed a cup of coffee every 40 minutes of a day. Have you???

The nicotine is the addiction, the smoking is the habit.

Could you whip out your e-cig in church and get your hit? Would you feel any more comfortable doing that

than  if you lit up in church? or snorted coke? or shot up heroin?

again

The nicotine is the addiction. The smoking is the habit.

Use the quit smoking aids as aids. Do not think they guarantee your quit.

You guarantee your quit.

 

We can't guarantee your quit. (We will TEACH  you how)

You guarantee your quit

 

Decide

Honor Your Decision

Wear loose socks    (WE can teach you how)

 

You guarantee your quit

You guarantee your quit

Now don't you dare forget!

You guarantee your quit!

We all associated smoking with comfort.

Whether it really provided comfort really doesn't matter.

What we believe is what is.

If we gave it that power in our minds, it was real for us.

We now know that the nicotine causes a dopamine release and that is the comfort.

Now, consider a pack a day to keep you comfortable.

That translates to over one per hour.

Each one making you uncomfortable for the next.

The next "fix".

So, the question is, do we want our waking lives to be controlled by nicotine?

This is what put you outside when the pastor began his message, outside after your child was born,

outside while the bill at the restaurant was being prepared  and your family sat there without you.

Around the car when your boy hit that home run, somewhere else when your child almost drown.

Where were you?

What have you missed for your '' fix"?

Welcome to reality

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