Months and months have passed that I have just been here reading what others have been doing and saying about their quit journeys. Hiding in the shadows as my addiction makes me do on some many levels. Smoking away and feeling guilty, sickened most of the time, yet giving in and let in control me another day.
I feel like I am in a trap. A cycle of addiction that I can't get out of. I know this is the horrible reality of smoking. It makes me believe I need it for something, only to turn its back on me the moment I light up.
I've become increasingly aware that is taking over my life. Thoughts of addiction, the time it takes to smoke. The self loathing that cycles... I have stopped exercising, eating healthy... the "good" parts of me have been so squashed down. I want to mention one other part of the withdrawal process that I find particulary difficult and am hopeful that maybe others can give me advice before it begins next week: I get EXTREMELY bloated when I stop. Almost a balloon shaped belly, I know constipation can play a roll, but it's more then that... Can anyone help?
SOOOOOOOO... Here I am again. Round one million. Sunday, July 8th is my quit date. I am hopeful to surrender to it this time for good. I have too or fear the old me will be lost forever.
Any words of encouragement make me feel supported, so thank you in advance!! XOXO
Peace and love to all. 
