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jconfusion Blog

175 posts

sister update

Posted by jconfusion Jul 15, 2019

ok she dosent get sentenced till the 26s so she is still in jail

she made it over 250 days but some chick at her job at taco bell traded her meth for a pack of smokes...i don't know all the details but I'm very very disappointed  the first time i heard about this when she got help after the first slip but she did it again and dropped dirty with meth in her pee and is now in jail... sighs sorry I'm just upset..


he is soon spooiled lol!

Posted by jconfusion Jul 14, 2019


chaos chose his little soul brother well

my very spoiled cancer furr baby he is always with me or laying in front  of my walker lol

lol rebel is 1 year old this month and he's 14 pounds and counting whoop happy birthday my little man!!!


feel like a brand new girl!

Posted by jconfusion Jun 24, 2019


so it continues

Posted by jconfusion Jun 12, 2019

i went to the arthritis doc and he wants me to go to the infectious disease doc see what is causing my U.t.i. and why i have a cyst on my scar tissue  and all the infections i keep getting my bed sore is almost  healed thats good.. I'm still getting fevers and I'm little scared...

so an ex contacted me and told me he has an std i got checked out and I'm clean.  he want to come visit me and he is autistic and he had his dad break up with me for him.  I told him we did not part as friends.  i tried to stay his friend but his dad said he'd call the cops on me if i ever came back... so it's been 11 years.... i told him i don't want to see him and he was iike you need to think about this...and asked if i can just let this go... i didn't answer him and he continued to text me saying he was sorry about the past.  then he starts calling me and i finally text him and said you will stop calling me and texting me or ill report you to the authorities fore harassment. i had a dream where i texted him and told him i was clean.  but the dream is as far as I'm willing to go.  he never knew how to love.  he just used and used  and used me .  lol i believe I'm too guarded to even let anyone in my home. let alone trust. all my exes were predators thats all thats in hillsdale lol.  never again.  thats what bob is for.


me before ms

Posted by jconfusion May 29, 2019

Image may contain: one or more people and closeup

lol i was pretty happy and surprised  i got in to baker

and i didn't start going blind till i graduated.



Posted by jconfusion May 22, 2019

I've been sick i had stop my methotrexate i got cyst where my scar tissue from my tummy tuck five or ex years ago and i got a sinus infection.  i also have a very deep bed sore i have wound nurses messuring and putting a duo derm bandaid on it its still looks really bad and i have a lot of  anti yeast pills for a really bad rash.  see i knew the methotrexate would make my immune system  a lot weaker just like my rebuff injections kinda do but I'm not getting any worse  or better I'm  stuck at my ms stage.and i can stop my rebif injections but i m stopping the methotrxate i believe it is why i have all these infections...rebel is still very cute.  he's been laying between my legs and somehow grounds me, I'm very blessed have him in my life, he is so snuggly  and purry. we make each other happy and that is beautiful.  and we love eacother deeply, and he makes me laugh. little fuzzy fur baby. lol he takes naps with me and as next to me till i fall asleep. he's such a GOOD BOY!

So this is so exciting  and  my sister came over and I walked up to and  gave her a big  bear hug i got my comp up and running and I love it! lol

i don't think ill know what to do with  comp that is fast  and actually works lol!


So  rebel is so cool

Posted by jconfusion Apr 25, 2019

He laid in between  my legs head on my calf muscles  and he purred ground my energy  to the soles of  of my feet were vibrating  he heals differently  than  chaos ever did and my new care giver  loves him saying hes pretty cool cat and  she isn't  even a cat person!  I knew he was all that and more lol I recognized  him in his pic with his dad.  I think I can spot other water signs, I recognize  them and we are  all thick as thieves  rebel follows me around meowing lol. I love  him so very much!  I was crying over missing chaos and he gave pisses till  calmed down and hes been with me ever since.  I have bed sores  again. So I'm back to using duoderm bandaid. My comp is being  shipped. Finally lol I feel so stupid the same comp is on Amazon  for 25 more  dollars  and 2 day shipping  but it'll be ok.  I need to learn to be more patient lol which is really hard for me lol I always get the tempest tarot card upside down.  Lol I guess eternally  4 years old has a hard time waiting  for things lmao!


So my computer  died

Posted by jconfusion Apr 19, 2019

Ii was trying to create a restore point and rebel jumped  on my computer  and when comp was done there was an error and  everything's  just  gone I'm using a tablet till I get my next  comp a mac book pro I bought off daily sales  my dream computer!   Woo hoo!


hey i cant post msgs

Posted by jconfusion Apr 6, 2019

me as a child thank you everyone lol we are some hot flat chested chicks Marilyn.H.July.14.14. 


me as a child

Posted by jconfusion Apr 6, 2019

im a natural blonde im from caalifornia I have dark roots now because I don't go outside because im a hermit hence dark roots


here is rebel

Posted by jconfusion Apr 5, 2019

and my underwood typewriter 


me with rebel



me wrestling with rebel with me  smiling eyebrows look great but man I need to dye my hair lol 


i told my brother off

Posted by jconfusion Apr 4, 2019
hey you shouldn't listen to Justin because he keepstelling her first she needed to get sober and then she cant see them until she get logan and Zoey back, and logan and Zoey arebeing taken better care and Rachel should still be able to see her boys still
and I don't give a **** if hes their dad she still their mom too I love you but jesus and its not like shes trying to get them back she wants to be able tosee them again and Justin is a major jerk I can send you all the bs he said to me and I told him repeatedly  its not ok to talk to me this way
I know you think I don't eat right I am doing the best I can I ride the bike and do tia chi and do reiki on myself everyday, and Rachel is doing great and she needs our support to help her through this too.. and if she ***** up again we will still be here waiting for her. recovery isn't a single person its the people around us who still love usand that is what she needs from us not some snarky coments say I hope you really do it this, SHE IS RIGHT NOW. She doing good for like a 190 days. we are her family and she needs us too
I have decided she needs her  big sister looking out for her. regardless if she she makes it.  
I shared this song with her and I figured shed like it and she listens to it a couple times before she leaves for work.  lol I think im surprising her I still know what music she likes.
I love her and ill walk with her and help her climb  over this mountain and tell her things will be ok and to just breath.
we are family and I know what shes going threw is hard but shes got this.
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