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indingrl.01.06.2011 Blog

189 posts

Changes inside ME

Posted by indingrl.01.06.2011 Jul 26, 2017

I am a recovering nicotine addict today and the changes God has done inside of ME are amazing...I am growing up to be a mature adult  INSIDE MY HEART AND MIND......setting boundaries...selecting friends that are grown up on the inside too...I don't accept TOXIC people anymore...taking on their responsibilities..... just so they will like ME....I am being taught that the CHOICES I make and the WORDS I speak...I will suffer the CONSEQUENCES in MY everyday life....I NEVER knew there was so much responsibility to ME...then to just enjoy the company of MY friends with no HIDDEN is REAL love to sit with another in silence and just enjoy quite....I am so grateful to ALL MY teachers here who taught ME by their WALKING THEIR taught ME to live without out using the beginning of MY recovery I just didn't believe I could live without NICOTINE... ALL of you here SUGGESTED to take it easy and read and blog.....NOT ONE PUFF EVER...N.O.P.E ....Thank you for helping ME to grow up inside and come and share also for ME...I was taught.... the H.O.W.....Honesty in myself.....Open-minded..... to remain teachable...Willingness to accept MY failures.....mistakes....joys...sorrows...and NOT USE NICOTINE as a way to cope or NOT even think of be HEALED IN MY HEART AND MY MIND.... which God renews daily for it is written ...I have the mind of think and remember God first...myself...then others...always letting love lead me and to share MY experience...I used to smoke 50 cigs a day to cope with the inside of me....NOW I pray and God leads ME to use the serenity prayer to cope with inside of ME and what is going on in ME....this MOMENT.... that is the emotion of sadness and gratefulness..... my friend Mary is in hospice with bone cancer....Mary says she trusts Jesus...she had love Jesus all her days and is grateful to have lived a long good life in Him....Mary always wrote notes...sent cards.....gave gifts of love away.....and made calls to any WHOSOEVERS.... to bring the joy and Jesus love....she did this to ME...unconditional love when I was sad inside and when we met at bible study...she gave me a love gift to let ME know I am loved by God and I am able to accept...REALITY...and be very grateful to God and thank him for letting ME know such a beautiful inside adult woman.....CHANGES inside ME keep growing and growing to be just like MY Lord Jesus.....grown up on the inside and outside...thanks for letting me vent on my emotions in check.....please take what helps and let go of the rest.......gentle hug.


One day at a time

Posted by indingrl.01.06.2011 Jul 25, 2017

In the beginning a lot of SUGGESTIONS were blogged about educating MYSELF about MY nicotine I did and discovered that I have so much inside that needs to be healed by God... who is MY Higher Power....another SUGGESTION...I find a power greater than I did....the ONLY thing that works all these running to God first...please take what helps and let go of the prayer I ask God to help ME stay in this 24 hours.. 12 to 14 hours really because I like to go to bed at 8 pm....I enjoy my sleep took time...NEW which I am given to choices.... to use nicotine or live this day in Gods will for ME to not use nicotine and grow stay in the present moment and enjoy my day at a I got up.... ready for the day..exercised...walk to neighbors and gave her a gentle hug...listen to her...then continued to walk here to library...went to my fb page...checked my messages...then prayed and came here to one day at a time is to know what is MY business and what is out of MY control....I blog to help the next suffering nicotine addict to believe if I can stay quit so can they by the SUGGESTIONS given to ME in the beginning and how I live one day at a time now nicotine FREE.. to share how I am responsible over my emotions...they don't lead ME anymore...I share what has helped me STAY QUIT...all these remain focused on the MAIN OBJECT ON THIS away ALL that was given to ME before I CHOOSE to take that first puff over ME....stay out of controversies ...let the authority figures do their job...enjoy the FREEDOM of helping ALL who want help and most of ALL to let God be let love lead be of service to my fellow RECOVERY FAMILY members in REMEMBRANCE OF ALL that was given to day at a time...saves ME from the stinking thinking...MY old thinking habits...I can NEVER smoke.... FOREVER....I will be bored FOREVER. I had to open MY mind and be taught by others staying quit....A NEW WAY OF THINKING..then the love GREW IN MY HEART TO GOD.... to learn to live this day put their SUGGESTIONS INTO ACTION.....God wasn't going  do for ME what I could do for MYSELF......drink lots of water...chew oranges...put some cinnamon on your applesauce...stay close and read blogs...break your day into minutes...seconds...remember to breathe...take three deep breathes when you are about nicotine addictions and early deaths from using nicotine....come here and blog.....vent about MY emotions...confess to all of you all that was happening in your day and I didn't know how to deal with everyday life with admit that you are right...I need you all to tell me how to day at a I  admitted complete defeat to God first.....then to MYSELF....then to all of you and it still works emotions are flaring up now and then.... today over my situation.... I am in turmoil over MY choices and I am accepting the consequences of MY choices....NOT ONE PUFF OVER ME.... yet I remember..... one day at a time...for now go share in love...let go and let people live the way they want...go enjoy your day...go for a someone OTHER THAN I did.....I came to blog...thank you for letting ME be ME.....I love all of you and please lets just remember .....UNITY WITH ONE OBJECTIVE...NOT ONE PUFF over ourselves and to put the newcomer.....ABOVE OURSELVES......gentle hug.



Posted by indingrl.01.06.2011 Jul 22, 2017

The time has come to move into a one bedroom... this past year my husband and i loved our daughter n two grand children in helping them thru divorce... it is time to move on in our OWN lives to keep moving forward through yet ANOTHER is ever moving... change is ever happeing... WE had our moments... 5 people using ONE bathroom... try keep that room germ FREE... bleach company made their money off ME this year... i cried through the ups and downs... change moves ME to spiritual maturity to know EVERYONE goes through moving and changing ...yet for ME... please take what HELPS and let go of the rest..thank you... is MY Holy Spirit in Me... for i asked him to hold me and comfort ME in Christ Jesus to be grown up ... to trust God... to let go and let THEM live their lives just as they CHOOSE... FREE WILL..... i cried until there were no more tears in ME... moving forward to the next level....their CHOICE.... to move out of state....i am SO HAPPY FOR THEM AND ME....YAHOOOOOOO FREEDOM ....only two people using the next bathroom... i am SAVING money already and MY plan God willing....a car for ME......thank you for letting ME be me... gosh moving is a NEW adventure and WE have a pool at this complex...HOORAY FOR JESUS!

Please take what HELPS and let go of the rest.... MY old way of thinking was living in MY past failures mistakes etc... not one thought EVER of living in the NOW and enjoying MY life as it is...MY old thoughts were using NICOTINE .. 50 cigs a day... while studying the Bible... Satan doesnt care if you read the Bible.. he just dont want ME out and SHARING JESUS and telling what Jesus did for ME... this is MY RECOVERY story not yours ... you are FREE to blog your own fyi... i used to think God didnt love ME..cuz i was raped by my father...6yrs old to 15yrs old... then i use to think...God didnt love me cuz i CHOSE to use alcohol... nicotine... preverted drunken sex with glutton... etc.. pitiful victim old thinking.... God hates ME... attempted to kill myself many times... MY THOUGHTS WERE OF DEATH... then i was blessed to see a commercial about a man trying to drink coffee.. he kept spilling it when trying to drink it and they said its hard to try drink coffee when you first quit smoking... something said on those lines... i used to think... poor man... then i was living that NEW action when i first tried things without using NICOTINE getting up... drinking water .. talking without cursing... when i first lived one minute without using nicotine... MY NEW WAY OF THINKING... i can do whatever i need to do in life through Christ... God loves ME unconditionally...I will not live in fear...i am difficult to offend...i love people and i enjoy helping them..i trust God complerely theres no need to worry...i am content and emotionally stable..God meets all MY needs abundantly..i pursue peace with God ,myself, and others.. i live in the present and enjoy EACH thing i do..i am disciplined and SELF-controlled..i put GOD first in MY life Jesus name amen.. Joyce Meyer..MY spiritual MAMA taught me these in her book POWER THOUGHTS...please read it for YOURSELF dont take MY word on it.. gentle hug... NEW Christ Jesus works for ME.... thanks for letting ME be me.



Posted by indingrl.01.06.2011 Jul 17, 2017

I offer this site to any whosoevers dealing with quitting nicotine or thinking about quitting nicotine....or to my sister-in-love who just was given the diagnois... you have lung cancer...she started chemo and radiation together... got a shot to help with side effects...all this week everyday treatment...checked with her yesterday if she checked out this site yet to have SOMEONE to share with SUDDENLY nicotine FORCED QUIT.... everyone needs SOMEONE to vent too....thanks for letting ME share MY need to give you a piece of MY HEART cuz i love my sister-in-love very much and wanted to share the unconditional love offered here... gentle hug... please remember take what helps and let go of the rest in Christ Jesus name amen.


This NEW day

Posted by indingrl.01.06.2011 Jul 16, 2017

By Gods grace i got up to ask for Gods will to be done in MY new day... this next moment to thank God for his goodness.. tender mercies for letting ME receive a NEW day NICOTINE i can breathe...see... walk... text a blog thinking of helping the next suffering nicotine addict to sharing things SUGGESTED to ME....i can hear.. taste.. touch the hearts of fellow suffers who will this NEW DAY only face the reality.. just like ME... i do NOT have to run the show...i let God.... i do NOT have to set ALL people in MY will to do as I DEMAND... i let go and let them live....i blog to REMEMBER but for the grace of God there go I... today I pray to live this DAY only just like MY higher power Christ Jesus wills ME to live... FREE in CHOOSE to thank God for His mercy letting ME live this NEW DAY sharing my experience strength and hope... this day... minute... second... hour... i will NOT USE NICOTINE TO SLOWLY KILL MYSELF... today i will blog and ASK FOR HELP TO STAY NICOTINE FREE WITH ALL OF YOU... my recovering nicotine FAMILY... one day at a time... i can do one breath at a time knowing I am not alone... please take what helps and let go of the rest.... gentle hug.


Mind MY business

Posted by indingrl.01.06.2011 Jul 14, 2017

I come here to HELP any whosoevers to BELIEVE if i will STAY quit no matter what by sharing MY freedom from NICOTINE in the beginning by what i was taught and i continue to walk it out....i talk about MY nicotine free DAY... things i am dealing with when life JUMPS out of the bushes at ME... solutions that God has blessed ME with... to think of others ABOVE myself... to give freely what was given to ME... to adhere to this sites RULES regardless of what I think... to mind MY own business and stick to HELPING nicotine addicts by sharing what happened to ME in the beginning with NEWBEE stuff... then to share how i live with ME.... my mind is NOT obessed with sucking 50 cigs a day and making sure i have money to get more... TODAY... i blog to give HOPE to the next suffering NICOTINE addicts by reading MY being honest and open minded and willing to be an example with venting ...complaining ....whining ....cursing ....blah blah blah i am a RECOVERING NICOTINE ADDICT who yells and pitches a fit because i am still learning day by day NOT to make excuses for MY old addict HABITS trying to be TOP DOG.. NUMBER ONE...etc...all the fears and insecurties rooted in ME since childhood... i took suggestions went to professional therapy for root nicotine using excuses to be confronted and CHANGE for NEW HABITS and made peace with God...myself and all others who hurt me and i needed to forgive.... cuz Christ Jesus forgave ME... God pulled all the roots out and planted HIS SON in MY heart to love unconditionally all people... to learn everyone has their story just like i mind MY own business and let them live and let God be God... i obey the rules here cause i love Sir Mark and i love ALL who come here... i need all of you to help ME..... to continue to teach ME... so please remember... change is ALWAYS going on here to keep interest and to HELP suffering nicotine addicts to WANT what YOU have... ask yourself... am i being HELPFUL.... or causing STRIFE? Please take what HELPS and let go of the rest in Christ Jesus name amen.. keep your side of the street clean and thank God for this site... for Sir Mark and his assistants and MOST of ALL for suffering newbies that use to be US and they come here to check us blog blog blog NOT ONE PUFF OVER ME...UNITY in unconditional love for each other to STAY QUIT TOGETHER NO MATTER WHAT CHANGES COME.... i thank God for blessings ME with ALL here...gentle hug.

Early morning riser... 230am ...always have been throughout MY life... I guess what I have learned this past year living with an ACTIVE using nicotine addict is gratitude and knowing for ME... please take what helps and LET GO of the rest ... thank you... knowing when I come to this RECOVERING site to SHARE MY RECOVERY WALK... because Christ Jesus is MY Higher Power... MY choice... just like ALL others have THEIR CHOICE OF THEIR HIGHER POWER... some are offended by MY choice of MY God....well I am sharing what I was SUGGESTED to do educate yourself on YOUR nicotine addiction... NOT to judge or critic MY choice... your used nicotine YOUR way...I am NOT here for a popularity contest I am here to share HOW I STAY QUIT... STAY for ONLY BY GODS GRACE... that's Christ Jesus for ME... you can take it or NOT... if you are offended by MY choice of Christ Jesus as MY Higher Power take it up with him... FREE RECOVERY... FREE WILL... FREE CHOICES... those who are offended...question ...WHY ain't you bothered by others who CHOOSE different Higher Powers... question... Do you OWN this site personally and I have to follow you... question ...Are the elders here or any human your Higher Power... that's your FREE WILL CHOICE... go for it...don't judge ME for mine... thanks for letting me share and please REMEMBER if your offended by MY blogs... read another and please NOT ONE PUFF OVER CHRIST JESUS OR RECOVERY I don't LOOK for excuses to USE NICOTINE by judging or complaining about people and their CHOICE of their Higher Powers or they are NOT doing it MY WAY cuz I don't like their comments... it was suggested to ME... grow up...this is life or death for ME share MY experience ...strength and hope I remain STAYING QUIT... not to be liked by everyone here... to HELP... someone believe they will STAY QUIT too ... IF  they want too... CHOICES... thanks for REMINDING ME... to walk MY words and to stand up for who I CHOOSE to believe in... please take what HELPS and let go of the rest.. STAYING QUIT TOGETHER IN UNITY....not judging... there is a God and I ain't Him and ... you judges ain't either... gentle hug and Christ Jesus love love love to any whosoever... moving forward... it was said to ME... if one of us is going to USE nicotine I feel sorry for YOU.... one moment at a time and by and by I did NOT use being judged as an excuse to use nicotine over theses judges... I blog blog blog to HELP someone instead because that's what the elders taught ME to do... grow up. 


Great sadness....

Posted by indingrl.01.06.2011 Jul 11, 2017

has overwhelmed me today ....MY CHOICE... I got up at 4am... prayed and read MY bible ... prayed more and then ate breakfast.... then read a story of RECOVERY.... then laid on love seat and fell asleep again ... woke up and went to lay in bed... laid down and heard in MY heart... What are you doing... I answered getting up... MY NEW CHOICE.... go for a walk..... NOT ONE PUFF OVER SADNESS OR BEING OVERWHELMED... I remembered what I was taught HERE A LONG LONG LONG LONG LONG LONG TIME ago.... when I want to ESCAPE MY LIFE ON LIFES TERMS.... go DO SOMETHING ELSE.... it has been too long for ME to use the EXCUSE TO USE NICOTINE TO ESCAPE ME... so I made a decision to do Gods will NOT MINE... to bring Christ Jesus glory on earth and be responsible for MY EMOTIONS...THIS NEW DAY..... to have self control and go walk and lose a pound off MY body and an inch off MY waist...instead of escaping through sleeping.... thank God for those HERE a long long long long long long time ago taught ME there WALK TO STAY QUIT NO MATTER WHAT BY ACTION in Christ Jesus name amen... PLEASE take what HELPS and let GO of the rest... gentle hug.... and God loves ME unconditionally...and any whosoever IF you CHOOSE to receive Gods love......



Posted by indingrl.01.06.2011 Jul 5, 2017

Just for today I choose not to use nicotine over me.


July 2, 2017

Posted by indingrl.01.06.2011 Jul 2, 2017

This day is wonderful because number one Gods grace is the only reason I am NOT using nicotine to write this blog... Gods grace for ME... please talking about ME not anyone else... take what helps and let go and let God with the rest....Gods grace for me is Jesus cuz he don't use nicotine to live... he lives because of God in him in Gods love... God loves me unconditionally the Bible says so... it reminds ME when I was using nicotine to cope with MY feelings to lead ME to an early death... a heart attack... I used to smoke nicotine cuz I use to think like a victim... survivor of childhood rape by my father beginning at age 6 until I was 15 when I left house... I use to smoke nicotine over all the PAST hurts caused by others as a child and later by choices I made as I learned right wrong choosing by my own free will... then born again on November 6,1986..... in TIME.....over 31 years.... living one day at a time... I became responsible for my actions now.... in TIME....Gods love has healed me from victim mentally and matured me in Christ character to be 31 years co dependent FREE...12 step group called Alanon...30 years sober....12step group called Alcoholics Anonymous .... growing up in alcohol n evil childhood home...12 step group Adult children of Alcoholics...then PROFESSIONSAL therapy for childhood rape issues....then sent to bible group for childhood rape survivors... then blessed by Jesus with a cold turkey quit to help other suffering nicotine addicts RECOVER... by sharing MY experience strength and hope with those who WANT it.... these 31 YEARS of walking with Jesus is only because of the Holy Spirit of Christ in IF God did ALL this for ME.. honesty with MY past and present by giving ME eternal life in Christ Jesus he will do it with you... a FREE GIFT... read it for yourself 1Corinthians chapter 15 verses 1-4...please read it for yourself... thanks for letting ME be me and share God loves me unconditionally in Jesus name amen... your FREE will to choose.... while there is still time.... gentle hug. NOT ONE PUFF OVER ME!


Joyful Loving

Posted by indingrl.01.06.2011 Jun 29, 2017

Just a note to let ALL newcomers know there is JOY in daily loving yourself for NOT using nicotine. I pray and I am talking about ME not anyone else... so please take what helps and let go of the rest....I ask MY Higher Power who is Jesus Christ to teach ME to help ALL those who suffer from nicotine withdrawal to remain on this site and take the SUGGESTIONS given by those STAYING QUIT...  reading blogs and writing blogs to receive HELP from ALL those STAYING QUIT for YEARS... it was SUGGESTED to ME to educate MYSELF on MY nicotine addiction and to blog blog blog BEFORE I use nicotine.... I did ALL they SUGGESTED even to this very moment in Jesus name amen. Joyful loving this NEW nicotine free daily life... freely given... freely giving it ALL away to anyone who WANTS life free from nicotine... just pray and ask God.... just passing on the love. Gentle hug. Thanks to those who prayed for ME and loved ME no matter what cuz I ain't using NICOTINE over any person , place, thing, situation, circumstance, NOT ONE PUFF OVER ME. 


Suggested to ME

Posted by indingrl.01.06.2011 Jun 6, 2017

Indingrl here... please take what HELPS and let go of the rest in Jesus name amen. It was SUGGESTED to my by Sir Mark to join groups so I could be MYSELF... I ASKED  groups TO JOIN and that allow me... I BELIEVE.... to reply.. I will express my gratitude and thankfulness to MY CHOICE OF MY HIGHER POWER... Jesus..... these groups are YEARS YEARS OLD AND I ASKED TO JOIN.. also letting them know I will share my gratitude for Jesus and MY RECOVERY FROM NICOTINE... we are still FREE TO CHOOSE OUR OWN HIGHER POWER...JUST LIKE OTHERS HERE WHO TOLD MARK I BOTHER THEM WITH MY JESUS RECOVERY BLOGS... yet THEY CAN BLOG WHAT THEY WANT.... each of us CHOOSE OUR OWN HIGHER POWER... I believe I too have this FREEDOM NOT JUST THE PEOPLE WHO COMPLAIN TO SIR MARK ABOUT ME AND MY RECOVERY BLOGS TO BE HELPFUL ONLY SINCE JAN 6, 2011 I BLOGGED THIS.... ALWAYS STATING PLEASE TAKE WHAT HELPS AND LET GO OF THE REST.... so I am waiting to see IF I am allowed to join the groups ..FYI.... I tried to join the train group and the celebrating anniversaries group...but it said my http was DELETED so I wasn't allowed to fill out questions for joining train group and celebrate anniversary group... thank you and hug. Love love love wins TODAY FOR ME in Jesus name amen.


Tuesday 6-6-17

Posted by indingrl.01.06.2011 Jun 6, 2017




Shout out

Posted by indingrl.01.06.2011 Jun 4, 2017

This is for ANYONE who thinks or feels unable to blog hurts... the past hurts... traumas... twisted thinking...wrong perspectives... failures of times tried....broken relationships....stresses about ... not working .. single...divorced...married...unable to express self with words instead of emotions....KNOW THIS YOU ARE NOT ALONE... when I first came to blog I was scared nervous angry happy sad wild running emotions that took my breath away cuz I was scared I would be made fun of...I was scared people wouldn't like me.. I blogged venting immaturity I blogged out of ignorance and pride I was snotty at times I was mad anger I cursed cuz I was unable to find adult words...YET I was taught by love from people here who KNEW exactly what I was going through for the first time ever being CLEAN FROM NICOTINE ... I was what the elders USED TO BE... a newcomers holding on to them for dear life... life I NEVER LIVED BEFORE CLEAN FROM NICOTINE...the elders taught ME to blog... they SUGGESTED TO READ THEIR BLOGS... and to keeping blogging and NOT TO USE NICOTINE OVER ME OR MY INSIDES OR OUTSIDES AND NOT TO LET MY FEARS LEAD ME.. I obeyed them and i was taught it is PROGRESS NOT PERFECTION. So please any NEWCOMERS AT THIS BLOGGING WHATEVER YOU NEED AT THE MOMENT...AS ALONG AS YOU DONT USE NICOTINE and the elders will HELP you....just like they taught ME with their example and love love love in Jesus name amen WE ARE A TEAM IN UNITY STAYING QUIT NO MATTER WHAT TOGETHER in Jesus name amen HUG.