Help... =[

[georginaayres1989]

Day 4, yesterday was so terrible and id convinced myself today would be better but woke up feeling just as depressed, I dont think im like people on here, all so positive, the only reason im writing this is to avoid smoking, i was sat in the kitchen with my hand hovered over the box, i opened it, counted how many my husband had smoked, closed it, and put it back.

Feels like im just waiting till i have the next one, not that im now a non smoker, and i dont know where peoples feelings of greatness come from not smoking, i couldnt eat my tea even last night because the smell made me feel sick, my mouth and throat hurt and i just felt too sad to eat.

My husband came in from work and i was in tears like i had been most of the day and he told me not to cry and said it was self inflicted because i shouldnt have started smoking, fair enough, i realise that, but it didnt help me any.

I feel like i need just one to lift my mood, but i know one is never enough and id be a smoker again.