Doctor appointment with my daughter had no good news. I have got to stop beating myself up over her condition. I was out of state, and needed where I was. I had no way of knowing that what I was being told was a series of lies and half truths. Not intentional perhaps, but certainly not the whole truth. Maybe I could have done something had I been here, and maybe not. Too late to reverse anything now, and maybe too late to stop the rapid progression.
I know a cigarette will not help, and wasting money on those nasty things will help even less. Even so the craving is bad and I now have a tummy ache from all the junk I have eaten, candy, cookies, ice cream, and the gallon or so of water I have sucked up. I am headed to the pool to exercise, to relax, and maybe to meditate some. By then I ought to be able to sleep. At least I still have enough good sense to know that a smoke will only add to my problems. I have to stay healthy to take care of my babies, no matter how old they get.