My last blog was about the car accident. I'm still hurting. Today is actually one of very few days I haven't taken anything for pain - not even ibuprofen. (so far anyway!). I think it's the airbag that did it. The burns re still visible on my forearms, but it's the ribs, back and neck that are the worst. Doc did give me some pain meds I can use at work - but work is really the problem. I move a lot at work. I've been good about not lifting - but I walk an avg of 12,000 steps a day, and I turn and bend a lot too. (cashier)
The van being totalled last month was the 3rd "major" accident I've been in. 3 cars totalled since 2003 - and I've walked away from all of them. God has a plan for me!
Life is still hard. I'm filling out insurance paperwork, trying to decide if I need a lawyer - the wee one still hurts too...no fun.
Mom's birthday was the end of Aug. She would have been 76. Sunday was 2 months since Mom passed, Monday was 9 weeks - and Labor Day is one of her favorite holidays. She loved everything Patriotic, and parades, and it's just the first few of many days that will be difficult.
My son is still struggling. He came home in February from residential treatment, and it has not gone well. He had to go to a special school this year, he has become completely non-compliant with his medications, he has been very off - not really rooted in reality. Spent nearly $1000 in a week on stuff that he had no real plans for (101 tree saplings - we don't even have a yard!). He brought a knife to school the first day and got suspended. He made some vague threats vis text message and the local Sherrif came and searched my house. He steals from me, my family and friends. Even as I emptied my mother's room of her clothes, he was in the garage looking for things to take from my Dad. As wee one and I were in the ER after the accident he was searching my room for the keys to the doors I have locked. Everything has been just under criminal - but too much for me. Today he has gone to a group home and I have to relinquish custody temporarily.
Crap happens. Smoking wouldn't change any of this or make anything better. It just doesn't help. If you are still smoking - I know it's hard to see that. I remember feeling like I couldn't deal with anything without smoking. But really, it never helped anything. All it ever did was make me smell bad, stain my teeth and hurt my health.
Crap is going to happen no matter what.
Today I got to spend some time with my Dad, and we emptied out Mom's coat closet. I was happily surprised to find that nothing smelled like smoke! Mom quit some months after I did - 9 maybe? But it was already too late for her. 😞
The bright spots in my life are (1) my daughter - she is amazing and wonderful and bright and loves school; and (2) my beau. I'm dating for the first time in more than 8 years, and he is wonderful. We met in college 25 years ago - but are just now grown up enough to date. And I'm so glad I don't smoke now that we've found each other again - I don't think he'd have me if I did!
Just one week to three years!
I have just not smoked every single day for 1089 days in a row.
~Lisa
