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Share your quitting journey

250 Days!! and yet...

dwwms
Member
6 23 367

I'd been thinking about blogging for the last month or so but kept putting it off - perhaps I felt a bit embarrassed. As fate would have it, in my inbox today was the blog from several months ago by gregp136‌ No Embarrassment Allowed.

I am still smoke free!! However, it's only been about 45 days that I have been nicotine free. When I quit, I decided to use the NRT lozenges because I'd had the best success before using an NRT. I even decided I'd use it to get me through NML and then I would taper off. So instead of 3 months, say 5 months. I ended up using it 7 months.

I'm not but so ashamed - even if I was still using the lozenges, it's FAR better than smoking. Nicotine is not what kills you, it's what keeps you hooked. As I think about it, nicotine is not what gave me the "feeling" that I was after from smoking. It's not what dulls your mind, covers you feelings - that seems to be the work of the carbon monoxide and other chemicals clouding your brain. (In my opinion, anyway).

Here's what else I learned - the NRTs really do take the edge off. While using them, I thought about smoking but never really seriously considered smoking. After 7 months of not smoking, when I quit using the NRTs, the thoughts of smoking were more prevalent than they'd been since month 2. I've seriously had thoughts of smoking again - I walked past the tobacco store close to work today and the thought was seriously there. I had to dismiss it several times. I don't do that anymore!!

So here I am. Wishing more than anything that I would rarely think about smoking anymore - yet I think about it virtually every day. I'd distanced myself from this site hoping it would help me stop thinking about smoking and yet...

I shouldn't be too hard on myself, after 40+ years of smoking, it's gonna take time to learn how to live without it. I tell myself now when I think about cigarettes - you've come WAY TOO FAR to go back now! It would taste horrible! Do I really want to have to "find" places and the time to smoke? To hide it as I felt the need to do so often? To tell my wife and myself that I blew it? I think not. Most Definitely Not.

Doug

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About the Author
I've smoked for 40 years - now in my late 50s, the health effects are starting to catch up to me. It terrifies me as I love the outdoors and enjoy nature, hiking, camping, fishing, and canoeing. My wife quit 10 years ago and really wants me to quit as well, she keeps telling me it'll be hard to hike with an oxygen machine! We live in the mountains with two pets - a dog & a cat. She is semi-retired and I hope to retire within the next few years - I want to enjoy my retirement.