I have been planning for weeks to do a blog on my next palindrome day (1441) but it got away from me because it was three days ago. Lots goes on in my family from Thanksgiving through the end of January. Thanksgiving comes at the end of November, then Katy's birthday is December 1, there's Christmas Eve, Christmas Day then my birthday in the middle of January and Marsha's on January 31. (We also have a half sister with a 12/31 birthday) who lives out in Utah.
This year Marsha really wanted to come down for Katy's birthday. Marsha and Katy have always been close. However, Marsha just isn't in shape to make a 5 hour drive by herself. So my granddaughter Kennedy and I drove up on Friday, November 30, got Marsha and her oxygen and mobility paraphernalia (along with over a month's worth of laundry (she has to use laundry machines in her building which requires her to spend lots of money, carry the loads down a long hall, and make a big deal of out it. Kennedy and I convinced her to bring all her laundry with her to do in my W&D in my apartment unit.. Worked out fine. I've done more driving in the last 13 days than I have in years, but I made it. And we had some good time in the car and some tough conversations. Marsha is still smoking. She's trying vaping, but pretty much uses that when it's just too darn cold to go outside. I do a pretty good job of staying quiet about it. She smokes (regular cigarettes) outside at my apartment, but last night when we got back to her place she started smoking indoors, and I spent a lot of time the bedroom. I left yesterday though, and made it from Pittsburgh to Richmond with 1 quick stop in 5.5 hours. Not too bad.
I thought I had brought a book on CD for my trip back from Pittsburgh, but I couldn't find it and then I remembered I had an Anne Lamott Book on CD I had picked up at the library sale for dollar, so I had a companion on the way home. She's a very irreverent religious lady (used to be a drinkin', smokin', druggin' hippie back in the 60's, but she got her act together in the late 70's and she's a wonderful writer about life and God and spirituality, and humanity: raising kids and dogs and how we struggle every day to do it right. She makes me laugh and cry and think and laugh some more. To those who aren't familiar with her I highly recommend her books. This one is called 'Grace Eventually," and was written in 2004.
I marvel at the times I think about smoking for about a nano-second, and remember how it wouldn't solve anything, it would make me cough my head off, it would cost money I don't have, and it would start my stupid number back at one, and while today may not be a palindrome (next one's not until 1551) I'm darn proud of 1443 days of freedom. I don't come here nearly as often as I did in the first year or two, but when I celebrate my 4 year anniversary on 12/31/18 I am going to be here with bells on!! Four years will be the longest I have ever quit (and of course it will only get better from here because this is my forever quit).
To our wonderful newbies -- the struggle is worth it. The struggle is so doable, and gets easier as the days go by. And you know what? The days are going to go by anyway. You can either mark them hating that you're smoking, or mark them with triumph every day you invest in a forever quit. You can do it, I promise.
