Actually, it isn't Thanksgiving anymore -- it's early on Friday morning. I started this blog on Thursday, though, so it still kind of counts as my Thanksgiving blog.
This has been a very different and interesting Thanksgiving. I think, for the first time in my life, I have spent Thanksgiving alone. I had planned to drive to Pittsburgh to see my sister, driving up very early on Thursday morning and returning here on Saturday. But as the week went on and I worked my long hours and started feeling crummy with a deep and annoying cough, and not sleeping on Sunday and Monday night, I talked to my sister yesterday and declined coming up there. She completely understood and thought I had made the right choice.
But then I thought -- Uh oh, I need some turkey and stuffing for tomorrow -- so after I got home last night I made a mad dash to the store, bought what I thought was a tiny turky, stuffing, etc. Got home and realized it was a roasting CHICKEN. Now, I'm sorry -- I know they're both in the poultry family, but I was not craving a Thanksgiving chicken! So I called around, trying to find a place with a fresh turkey or a cooked turkey I could pick up. Spent an hour or so on line and finally talked to someone at Food Lion who said he had fresh turkey. It was 10:30 at night, but (just like in the old days when I couldn't let myself run out of smokes) I got out of my pajamas and flew to the store because they closed at 11. It turns out their fresh turkies had been the cooler case for too long and they were not guaranteed to thaw by morning. But they had a turkey breast, and I figure that would be the smart thing to do anyway. I had also been on a fruitless trek for oysters, because I love oyster stuffing. So I went to a store that stayed open until midnight and yes, they had oysters.
Now, understand, I have never cooked a Thanksgiving dinner, ever. When I was married my husband cooked the turkey, Then I always went to a friend's house for the dinner. Then my partner Janine cooked the turkey and since Janine and I split up, I've gone to one or the other of my kid's houses for Thanksgiving. Jenny, my oldest, always has a bunch of people over and the older I've gotten the more I'm not into raucus parties with lots of drinking, so I wasn't motivated to travel to Richmond. My youngest daughter is the assistant GM at a restaurant in Fredericksburg and she had to work today. So I had hatched the idea of going to Pittsburgh.
This long background is to tell you how I ended up contentedly deciding to spend the day alone. I used to feel like being alone for a day at any time of the year was a form of punishment, but I now understand why that was true. With a very problematic childhood and very screwed up parents, I was a people please par excellence, but only really "assumed" the identity the people I was with wanted. If no one was around I felt deflated, because I had no one to bounce off of. It took many years to work through that. I hope that isn't TMI for this blog, but it's relevant to my point. I have gradually begun to appreciate alone time, especially since I moved into my condo (it will be 4 years in March!) But I've made a huge step here, I think. I made the choice to stay home and take care of myself, and I took care of myself by actually cooking my own Thanksgiving dinner. The turkey was delicious, the stuffing was divine, the mashed potatoes were just right and the turkey gravy I whipped up with a mix was pretty darn good. But the green bean cassarole was quite a disaster. Don't know what I did wrong, but it never came together and I cooked it even a couple minutes longer than the directions because it was in the oven with the stuffing. So that dish was ditched and not part of the lovely leftovers I thrill to have for the next couple of days.
For me to choose to be alone on the family-est, friend-est day of the year is pretty monumental, and now at the end of the day I feel content. I wouldn't want to spend every Thanksgiving alone (I'm definitely not the recluse type) but this was an important mileston in my maturity. And it was a pretty darn good dinner, too.
I hope my wonderful EX friends had a fully (pardon the pun) satisfying Thanksgiving and that you all have as many things to be thankful for as I do!
Love to all
