There's so many good articles on this site concerning relapses, slip-ups, whatever you want to call it. I call it going back to an old friend. You see we all used smoking for different reasons. Some used it for comfort. Just to have that gray cloud envelope us as we are dealing with personal issues or a traumatic event. Some will rock back and forth for comfort or using shivering as a release of tensions, anger. The mind sometimes will go back to what it knows in times of stress if we don't teach it other ways of coping or take the time to identify what it is that draws us back in.
I'm not saying you have to sit on a mountain top and ponder the universe and life's meaning. But as you are struggling with the idea to smoke or not to smoke, instead of fixating on that cigarette, fixate on what it is that is drawing you to it. The answer is there. If you take a few minutes to look, you're going to find it. A very good article on this site is written by Giulia, https://excommunity.becomeanex.org/groups/relapse-prevention. There's several posts on there that one can read about how easy it is to fall back into what we know so well. Another one that I found helpful for myself is: https://excommunity.becomeanex.org/thread/1815-replay-the-relapse. This has stories from members about their relapses and their triumphs. Another good article to read is https://www.sharecare.com/health/quit-smoking/start-smoking-again-after-quit. I think Dr. Oz (who personally I think looks like spock) has a very good take on a relapse, slip-up.
I'm just going to bring up my riding the bike analogy. Think back of how many times you fell off that thing until you finally got the hang of it. Banged up knees, skinned up elbows never stopped any of us. We were right back at it to get it right. Smoking is the same thing. It's something we did 30 to 60 to however many times a day over and over. Sometimes not even needing to smoke. We just did it. You find yourself in a weak moment and don't want to blog, use that search bar on the right-hand side of your screen. Type in a word or a feeling you're having. There's going to be an answer. Somewhere at some time someone on here has been through it. Stick with us. We'll get you to where you need to be.