I also could go back very easily

Blog Post created by crazymama_Lori on Sep 21, 2016

Anyone who is an addict can go back to their old ways very easily, score some herion, buy a bottle of jack daniels, buy a pack of cigarettes, find some oxycodone.  Anyone could just say screw it, I'm not doing this anymore, why do I even bother.  Well, I know why I bother.  I'm not quitting smoking for anyone, but they are happy that I am.  For a few months it seems like they were just trying to drag me back in, but really ask yourself, is that fact or is that just your perception?  Did they come right out to you and say I wish you would go back to using/smoking again, you're just too difficult right now?  My come back to that would be, I need you to support me, I'm having difficulty breathing here lately or I'm getting sick too often now.  This is my decision that I know I have to make.  But is that really a fact that they believe that it's easier if you'd just go back, I think not.

When it gets difficult, sure I could just take the easy way and just go back to what I did for 40 some years and just puff away, solving nothing, resolving nothing, not making anything in my life better than just puffing away.  It's that easy.  Do I want the cost of those things again?  heck no.  Do I want to wheeze again when I lay down?  heck no.  Do I want to miss the smell of the lilacs that drift over on a breezy day from a tree that I've been living across the street from for the last 28 years and I just never noticed it because I had no sense of smell?  heck no.  Do I want to go back to the daily headaches, backaches, neckaches, everything aches?  heck no. 

Perhaps it would be a good idea after you have two solid weeks in to start a list of things that you've noticed are better or that went away.  Start that list and keep adding to it.  Buy yourself a cheapy little notebook and start jotting things down.  You can give me two weeks.  Keep that list with you.  When you feel the need to take the easy road, pull that list out.  Remind yourself if you have to on a daily basis for the next six months of the good things that are going on, the things you've been missing out on for that time.  Keep that list with you.  

You can do this.  You feel angry, fine.  You feel sad, fine.  You feel tired, fine.  You feel antsy, fine.  You feel scattered, fine.  It's all part of that hike up the smoke-free mountain.  You're going to trudging hard for the first few weeks.  then you plauteau.  you trudge up again.  you plauteau.  Give your mind and your body a chance to repair the damage that your easy way caused.  Pull out those lists.  Remind yourself that this is DOABLE !!!!!!!!!