Back in December, December 31, 2015, I made the decision to finally stop smoking. My eyesight was being affected. I was having increasing leg cramps, headaches, backaches. Just going up steps was a chore. All the month of December I was researching looking for the fix-all solution to make this easier. Now looking back, I was looking for "the cure." There has to be something somewhere that can take this nasty habit away. There just has to be. You see I've been trying to take the first step for the last 3 years. Start and then stop and over and over and over. What in the heck was I waiting for?
Back to the reason of this blog. I have this one visual that I use every time that the addiction wants to pull me in. I sit back and think of back in December when I was fighting with to quit or not to quit, having the stranglehold of that cigarette, keeping that one pack in my office drawer as I'm watching the clock so that an hour or two will pass and I can go outside and "have one." And then one becomes two, oh, just one more and then I'll be done for the day, whoops, 10 have been smoked already. I'll do better tomorrow. I think back on that time when I was "cutting back," how I would suck in that smoke and think to myself, god that's great, as the warmth rushed over me, how could I ever give this up. THEN I think back on the next few hours watching the clock, okay, I've only got an hour to go, give it five more minutes, you can do this. That feeling, that panic, that clawing feeling.
Now I sit back in my chair and smile and think to myself I'm never going back there. I've been through quite a few things here over the last six months that would have made anyone go back to smoking, but the important thing is I haven't. I know now that it doesn't really do anything for me. It really doesn't make anything better, easier, calmer. The sun does come up the next day without it. The sun really does go down without it. Life goes on with or without a cigarette. You see, I've given this addiction no power. None whatsover. It has been dethrowned..............
