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Share your quitting journey

Yeah, I have bad days too

crazymama_Lori
0 5 3

Did you ever feel like a wind-up toy that was just wound too tight? Ever find yourself just simply clenching your hands for no reason? Your muscles in your neck are so tight, it feels like your head is going to pop off? Well, yeah, me too.

 

Four months ago, I would have lit up in a heartbeat because that would take the stress away. AND then no more than 5 to 10 minutes later, whoops, feeling that again, better light up. Now, let's take another scenario. Take that 5 minutes and close your eyes and simply do some deep breathing exercises. Inhale for 6 seconds, exhale for 6 seconds. If you are able to find a comfy chair to do it in with a hot pack on your neck, go for it. Okay. Now, tell me how long that lasted for you..... a heck of a lot more than 5 to 10 minutes, didn't it?

 

Challenge your mind. If you have to stare out the window and simply not think about a single thing but stare up at the clouds, do it. If you have to close your eyes and imagine a beach and hear the waves gently ebb and flow and the birds in the background, do it. If you have to bend over and just stretch or reach above your head, do it. Now, tell me how long that lasted for you........ a heck of a lot more than 5 to 10 minutes, didn't it?

 

I think you see the point I'm making. It's a thought process after the physical symtoms are gone after a few weeks. I spent the first 30 days crawling the walls, sleeping, yelling, screaming, OMG, I would kill for a smoke right now. But if you put your mind to it, if you stick by your guns, if you commit yourself to the thought of that's just something I used to do, it's not part of me anymore, welcome to my side of the world.

 

Yes, I still have friends that smoke. Yes, I find myself sometimes mentioning to them in a off-handed way of I remember when I used to smoke after....... whatever. I do catch myself, though, because I don't want to become those people that harp and harp on smoking is bad for you, you'll die from this, you must quit now. Yes, all of that is true. I think you will never become successful until and when you are ready to commit, devote, and come to some type of firm resolve to never ever smoke again. Spend the time to work up a game plan of replacing all those actions, reactions, emotions that are tied to smoking with something positive. Until you are willing to finally commit, you will never be successful because you're only seeing this as a “habit”.

 

I like the taste of tobacco, I will always like the taste. I don't really feel the need to understand why. I just ACCEPT the fact I do. I will always want to smoke. I don't have the NEED to anymore. It's a thought. Back in January, yes, I needed to smoke. That top was winding up. Isn't it break time yet? When is this ever going to end so I can go smoke. It is no nice that I can go anywhere and do anything without worrying about those damn cigarettes. Where did my lighter go? Why didn't I bring more than just a pack? Now, I have to go get some. Where is the smoking area? What do you mean I have to go over there. I'm not staying here that long then. To me, now, that just sounds so foreign. How I allowed that to run my life. How much stress and anxiety it created. When I was in it, when I had the stranglehold of that white little stick, it never occurred to me how ridiculous that sounds. Let it go, let yourself feel again, take charge of your life again, it really isn't so bad..........

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About the Author
Never be afraid or embarrassed about your "smoking thoughts" while quitting, they're there to remind us how strong we truly can be. Always remember, you will always WANT to smoke, but you have to CHOOSE not to. We can't break the ties that bind us without first changing the cycle that created it.