Now that I'm finally at 4 months (120 days) tomorrow, I must say a sincere thank you to all of you on this site. You put up with my complaining, whining, ups, downs and sideways. It warms my heart to see people who have fallen in behind me in this journey of the forever quit and offering advice to the others that have fallen in behind them. It's just one long line of hands grasping other hands to help along the way. That's the beauty here. We're all doing the same thing, staying smoke free. We're all offering our experiences and advice to others because we've physically been through it ourselves. This isn't a site where you have someone who has a Ph.D. offerering their textbook expertise, telling me the terrible side effects, the disease, blah, blah. You know, I've heard it before. Weird thing is, it made me even smoke more. I had the philosophy of I'm going to keep smoking until I can't no more. Now that I've been quit for 4 months here, I'm thinking to myself, WTH. Keep doing this until you can't breathe any longer. Okay, makes sense to me, NOT.
I think what made me stick to this is because No.1, I finally became unenchanted with smoking. It started to become more of a burden than it was an enjoyment. I was tired of having yellow fingers, burning eyes, chronic cough. I was tired of smelling that eternal butt that never seemed to want to extinguish. I remember smashing the living hell out of that thing and it would never go out. It was like the Olympic torch for pete's sake. Where in the hell is it, as I'm driving into the other lane or off the road.
We all prepare to quit in our own way. Some it only takes a month. Some it takes longer. Some have to set a date. Some just wait at the starting line until something in their head lifts the starting gate. I've had many times where I've tried to quit. I researched different quitting theories. I bought pills, e-cigarettes, nasal sprays, prescription meds, tried the patch back in the '80s. It was the smoking I was quitting; not dealing with the addiction. I researched the different sites on the internet, but it was that white noise again. Staffed by people in white coats, no experience with smoking at all, just textbook knowledge. I finally fell upon this site because of something I saw on Facebook back in 2013. I came back and forth to this site but I still was not at the point of quitting.
Personally, I think if I would have jumped right in back in 2013, I would have quit right then and there. But I was reluctant. I was afraid I was going to fail. It would just be a waste of my time. Boy, was I ever wrong about that. I truly believe everyone here would have kept me on track. Would have offered the encouragement I needed because I sure didn't have it at home. Yeah, you tried to quit before. we'll see how long it will last this time. I remember the first 7 days. I remember how proud I was that I finally got past all of my other days that I couldn't quite seem to get past. 7 days turned into 14, into 30, 60, 90, 100. Don't ever think that you can't do this. Everyone on this site will pull for you, yell at you, hug you (cyberly of course). I think I've seen my way through the tunnel and reached a happy place. Just remember there is no word as I can't.
