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Share your quitting journey

Diary of a mad woman

crazymama_Lori
0 12 5

Happy 3-month birthday to me.  Boy, this has been a ride.  Of all times of this rollercoaster do I have a dream of smoking and wake up wanting one in the worst way.  Key word WANTING, not needing.  I've learned the difference now.

 

The first month was needing because I was gradually depleting the nicotine out of my body while I was creating my arsenal.  I knew my head addiction was far worse than my physical addiction.  The next three weeks after that was stocking up my pantry for this life-long fight ahead me while still emptying the nicotine.

 

I've learned a lot about myself over these past 3 months and have more to go.  I know I'm still weak and that's probably why I still keep myself cooped up in my house.  I am venturing out in social settings but find myself being drawn back in.  Need to work on that and reflect on why.  I so desperately don't want to lose this quit as I've seen so many do over the past 3 months.  

 

I am seeing my happy self return finally after that awful black cloud that was hovering over me for the last month or so.  I only have about one time a day of complete mental breakdown and then it passes.  I'm sure it's all part of the process or am I simply going mad?  Well, I know one thing, I'm not smoking over it.

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About the Author
Never be afraid or embarrassed about your "smoking thoughts" while quitting, they're there to remind us how strong we truly can be. Always remember, you will always WANT to smoke, but you have to CHOOSE not to. We can't break the ties that bind us without first changing the cycle that created it.