It's all in your head

Blog Post created by crazymama_Lori on Apr 5, 2016

I'm writing this for those that are really beating themselves up for slipping.  Two years ago when I was basically trying on this whole "not smoking" thing and not seeing it as an addiction while smoking 2 packs a day, I never suceeded.  Only because I didn't see it as an addiction; I saw it as a habit.  Now that I'm very close to 70 days, I stil THINK about smoking, but I don't have that overwhelming urge to run the store and buy a pack.  When I was seeing it as a habit, I thought well, that one butt that's in the garbage is not going to matter.  It's just a habit that I'm breaking.  I've got this.  I can break that habit.  Boy, was I wrong about that whole situation.


With me, it was the mental addiction that I had to get over before I dealt with the physical addiction.  I had to educate myself, I had to understand why I was smoking and what it was replacing.  Tracking my cigarettes in the beginning helped greatly back two years ago because it made me understand WHY I was smoking, not just because I wanted one or needed one to feed Mr. Nicobod.  I came back to this site at least six times after that trying to quit.  I did the wellbutrin, I did the cold turkey.  I realized that my emotional attachment to smoking was far greater than anything.  So I went down the road of Nicotine patches as I dealt with understanding my emotional addiction to these things.


The first 30 days I dealt with stop, think about why you want one now as I'm touching my nicotine patch to assure myself that my physical need is being met.  I was retraining my mind.  I stayed on the highest level longer than what they suggested because I felt that I needed to.  I tried to step down to the next level only to find myself driving to the gas station (no worries, turned around and came back home).  I promptly went back to the first step for another two weeks.  When I felt strong enough mentally, I stepped down to the next level.  It was rough for the first few days, but I did it.  Stayed on those for another two weeks and went to the lowest level for a week and was off officially on March 20th.  I began with the patches on January 27th.


Now at 69 days, the emotional issues are resurfacing again only because of some personal things going on right now.  A member stated it was the addiction making the last ditch effort to lure me back.  There's been many times these last few days that I just wanted to go buy a pack, bum one, find one somewhere, take a hit and I'll feel better.  I don't like these emotional things.  I'm not a crier.  I'm not weak.  STOP, there it is.  You're not weak.  So flip Mr. Nicobod off and go about your business.  Just simply say I don't do that anymore and move on.  Don't give it a thought or allow it to enter into your thoughts.  Get up, do something, fold that laundry, make that bed, sweep that floor, rearrange your desk drawer, clean off your desk and then get back at it.  Remember, it's all in your head !!!!!