well, entering onto Day 51 and a bad couple of weeks coming up, anniversary of my mother's death on the 31st, I'm on the pity train. The month of March has always been hard for me, especially the last two weeks. Before I basically drank myself silly and chain smoked. Here we go with another first of not drinking and not smoking on her anniversary, but boy is it a hard one.
Now that I don't have those wonderful habits anymore, I realize how much of a smoky mirror it was. Mr. Nicobod tricked me into believing that he was making me happy, making me calm, making me feel better. Having these "firsts" is not fun, but it's my mind-set. I know it is it's the pity train again......... Stop the ride, I want to get off !!!!!
I will make it through today...... I will make it through tomorrow........ I know I can, I know I can, choo chooo