constanceclum

If you're going to commit,  commit for 4 months!

Blog Post created by constanceclum on Nov 15, 2019

I'm celebrating 109 DOF and,, if nothing else, it's a wierd journey! I am so grateful for this freedom and to this site for making this freedom possible. For the elders who had me well prepared for everything I would go through to get where I am today. That "you have to go through it to get out of it".

 

I am still in NML and I was prepared for it so I have not found it necessary to smoke. The 1st 7 weeks were pretty tough for me, but I had made that NOPE commitment and I did not find it necessary to smoke as the elders and other newbies supported and encouraged me each day. And I want to stress how important it is to read blogs of other newbies struggling and support and encourage them.. I can't even tell you how many times that my words of encouragement to someone else wound up getting me through a difficult time.

 

Things got better at about 7 weeks. I used the 21mg patch for a couple more weeks than stepped down to the 14 mg patch with very little fan-fare. I really felt like a nonsmoker and didn't even think about them except when I was here. The same thing happened when I stepped down to the 3mg patch. Now For the past couple of weeks, NML has been rearing it's ugly head. Triggers are acting up and I just "want" a cigarette. I miss some of those times I would smoke like after a meal. But you know what? I did my homework here. Because of Dale and others, I knew all about this NML and how tricky it could be.. In my early days in AA, I learned addiction is cunning, baffling and powerful. It is the same with nicotine. Am I frustrated that after 3 &1/2 months, I'm still dealing with this? A big, fat, YES!!! But the knowledge I have is way more powerful than the last ditch efforts of my nicotine addiction  to "smoke just 1" because this addiction wants to kill me, so I do not find it necessary to smoke over it.

 

Connie

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