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2019
constanceclum

I forgot to be grateful

Posted by constanceclum Nov 29, 2019

I was EXtra grateful for all the things I'm grateful for on a daily basis: God, my family, my cats etc..., but I forgot to be grateful for my first thanksgiving without smoking. That's because it was my 1st day I didn't think about smoking! Dale said it would come eventually. And it did at day 123. And the reason I'm EXtra grateful is because I was coming close to losing my NOPE lol. The past 2-3 weeks have, in some ways, been worse than the first few weeks but, thank God, I was prepared!!!  My addiction kept telling my I really wanted to smoke. Every one of those old triggers were like a fire alarm going off in my head. I actually told my husband I didn't think I could go on much longer which really upset him. He quit smoking 3 weeks ago, used the patch for a couple of weeks and barely has had a craving.

 

Well, as I've said before, I don't know anyone, have never heard anyone on here, say they regretted a cigarette not smoked, and that's how I feel today. So grateful to be a nonsmoker, and so grateful to be coming to the end of this NML..

 

There are so many wonderful blogs to read here on an ongoing basis. All newbies should stay close to every word printed by out elders. But I would advise every newbie to read Marilyn's blogs every morning. She has got me through many tough mornings which has always been my toughest times. 

 

God bless,

 

Connie

constanceclum

My NML Adventures

Posted by constanceclum Nov 24, 2019

I do not know, when people that quit smoking without an educational, supportive site such as EX, if they're even aware of NML. I can say that without the preparation, knowledge and support I have here, I doubt if I would have made it.

 

I can't quit explain it, but I got through the 1st 7 weeks of this quit by keeping my hands and mind completely (busy) That nagging nicodemon was back there, but I was able to stay "detached" from it. I have no idea how to explain to someone how I did it. I had huge, very rough cravings throughout the day-I was a heavy smoker for 48 yrs-and that BIG YOU CAN HAVE JUST ONE beat down on me constantly, but I ran the tape all the way through. How that cigarette would feel on my lips and the inhale hitting my lung and then, for me, the immediate chest tightness and shortness of breath and I said NOPE not today and then to the back burner of my brain it went.

 

I had no idea how NML would work for me since I was using the patch. After a coupld of months, I cut down to 14mg and after a couple of weeks of that, I cut down to 7 weeks. Did that for about a week, and then stopped all nicotine and went through some of the digestion issues probably not as bad though. Well I have spent the past couple of weeks wanting a cigarette with every trigger that I thought I had overcome. After meals, driving, being on the phone and that reward cigarette for completing a task. These urges were strong and left me with that whole in my chest that I have from nicotine withdrawal, but there's been no nicotine. It's all in my head. Well I promised myself 4 months like Dale suggested, but I have been more scared of relapse over the past couple of weeks than any other time during this quit. One major thing that has kept me going is my husband quit a couple of weeks ago and I was not going to be the reason he started. But also, The one thing every single one of you have been consistent about is "it gets better" And it is. This is the 1st morning I have not had a strong urge in a few weeks. In face I feel totally detached from smoking which is how I like it. And I'm at 118 DOF!!

 

Today is a great day to be a nonsmoker, and it's thanks to you!! God bless all of you and keep you safe!

 

Connie

That's a horrific amount of cigarettes in 3 months and 21 days! I wonder what I would have thought if I was still smoking and someone told me that I had smoked that amount in a little over 3&1/2 months. I wonder if it would have mattered to me. That's about $510.00 I have saved but I can't help but wonder what the impact would have been had I realized that when I was still smoking. It seems so unbelievable to me.

 

I would suggest to anyone who is still smoking to figure out the # of cigs you would smoke and the cost over a 3 month period. How does it make you feel? Does it increase your desire to quit? It certainly seems like it should, but I really don't think I ever completely faced these stats while I smoked.

 

I'm having a good day in NML today. The last couple of weeks have been difficult-not near as difficult as the 1st few weeks so I certainly don't want to scare anyone away but, as Marilyn always says, "we do have to stay vigilant" because it tends to pop up just when we think we are over it. For me it was mostly milder urges during times when I "missed" smoking like driving or after a meal or, the biggest one-the reward cigarette after finishing a task. I'm just now letting yself think do I want a cigarette and the only answer I can come up with is "who has time for that" lol so I've come a long way. And all of you newbies can too. Just give yourselves that 4 months of in big red letters NOPE!! In AA we say "It works if you work it"

 

God bless,

 

Connie

I'm celebrating 109 DOF and,, if nothing else, it's a wierd journey! I am so grateful for this freedom and to this site for making this freedom possible. For the elders who had me well prepared for everything I would go through to get where I am today. That "you have to go through it to get out of it".

 

I am still in NML and I was prepared for it so I have not found it necessary to smoke. The 1st 7 weeks were pretty tough for me, but I had made that NOPE commitment and I did not find it necessary to smoke as the elders and other newbies supported and encouraged me each day. And I want to stress how important it is to read blogs of other newbies struggling and support and encourage them.. I can't even tell you how many times that my words of encouragement to someone else wound up getting me through a difficult time.

 

Things got better at about 7 weeks. I used the 21mg patch for a couple more weeks than stepped down to the 14 mg patch with very little fan-fare. I really felt like a nonsmoker and didn't even think about them except when I was here. The same thing happened when I stepped down to the 3mg patch. Now For the past couple of weeks, NML has been rearing it's ugly head. Triggers are acting up and I just "want" a cigarette. I miss some of those times I would smoke like after a meal. But you know what? I did my homework here. Because of Dale and others, I knew all about this NML and how tricky it could be.. In my early days in AA, I learned addiction is cunning, baffling and powerful. It is the same with nicotine. Am I frustrated that after 3 &1/2 months, I'm still dealing with this? A big, fat, YES!!! But the knowledge I have is way more powerful than the last ditch efforts of my nicotine addiction  to "smoke just 1" because this addiction wants to kill me, so I do not find it necessary to smoke over it.

 

Connie

constanceclum

Good Morning Friends

Posted by constanceclum Nov 12, 2019

Well, NML has not been kind to me the past couple of weeks. That's also when I stopped using the 7mg patch. It's mostly the return of the triggers. After a meal, getting in the car, answering the phone, finishing a task, I have this strong "thought" which turns into an urge for a cigarette. I'm not worried about smoking, it's just getting old and boring to keep dealing with it. I'm at 106 DOF so I have a few weeks left of NML, but I thought I should come here and vent and get my peeps to assure me it's all going to be ok.

 

My husband finally quit. He has 10 DOF and it seems to be going much easier for him than I would have expected. Of course, I prayed for him continuously. He is also dieting as he is very obese. He's lost 7# and is dealing with his sleep apnea much better. He quit smoking pot and only drinks a couple of beers after work. All of this is certainly helping both of our health as well as our marriage. Saving quite a bit of money as well.

 

Newbie's, don't allow yourselves to keep smoking by telling yourself you still have time. That's just 1 of this addictions lies. People are getting both lung cancer and copd at earlier ages. Plus it slowly ruins the quality of your life, and 1 day you just wake up and can't do the things you used to do. The best time to quit is right now, and the only reason not to quit is an excuse!

 

God Bless this EX family!

 

Connie

I love feeling a "part of something". I guess because for so long I really wasn't a part of!. But I'm especially proud to be part of this club! I never, ever thought I'd be in the triple digit club. In fact, it surprised the hell out of me when I made double digits.

 

For the most part, after the 1st 7 weeks, it has been pretty easy, in spite of a huge amount of hardships. Now things are going better. Life is pretty smooth. And I'm craving and missing cigarettes in the worse way! I'm off the patches for over a week but have had a lozenge here and there. A total of 3 in a week. I have to remind myself that I'm still in NML.  And, things are going well, and I have a history of self-sabatoging when things are going well. I'm glad I'm recognizing it for what it is because there is no way in hell that I'm smoking and losing my place in the Triple Digit Club!!!

 

Connie 100 DOF