With 62 DOF I find myself getting exhausted with the tough periods. For me the 1st few weeks were very tough with anxiety attacks making the cravings even worse. Weeks 4 & 5 were pretty smooth but 6-8 were horrendous again. I'm not feeling the emptiness in my chest the past couple of days-just a desire to smoke. I could feel myself talking myself into it. I would run the tape all the way through-the coughing and copd flare-ups and that has kept me safe. Then, this morning I read Mandolin's blog. Having her grandson and being a nonsmoker. All my kids knew was me smoking and now they smoke. When my new grandbaby arrives in the fall, I want him/her to know me, grandma, as a nonsmoker. And I want to have as much of a future as I can with this baby.
This is what reading blogs daily can do for you. It can make you see things in a completely different perspective. And I don't think most of us realize when we post a blog that we can actually be the one that stops someone from lighting up.
and 59 days. That's the benefit of quitting in Feb. I have never made it this far without a cigarette and I have no intentions of ruining my quit now. I know to the bottoms of my feet that I would not be here if not for you.
Is there away that I can make sure I'm registered on the freedom train. I couldn't figure it out and I thought Jennifer was gonna add me but I don't know where to check.
I am down right chipper today, for the 1st time in probably since the week prior to my quit date. I feel so grateful to have this site where everyone shares all our milestones and keeps with the encouragement and motivation. I still have the very mild emptiness is my chest but it is easy to stay busy and ignore it. Nicotine is really losing it's power-it's such a loser anyway-so I keep doing what I've always done, keep busy and deep breathing. These days are feeling like a cakewalk compared to the struggle I went through. I will always guard and protect this quick as so many elders have advised me. I will never allow myself to get cocky so the demon can creep back in and take control but it is nice to relax a little. Being a nicotine addict is very much like being a prisoner and I believe even more so that any other drug because the fix only last about 20 minutes. It controls us throughout every minute of everyday. I'm so glad to have been set free. What a precious gift!
I forgot to share that Sun. was my last patch! I think that 7 mg. patch has such a low nicotine level that it was mostly a tease. I don't know but I am back to normal (what ever that is) I'm not feeling like I will kill people to get a cigarette. I can't believe I got through those periods without quitting on my quit. We are so much stronger than we think but it really is sometimes a minute by minute thing. My guess is I am halfway through NML (not sure if it's the same while using patches) but I truly believe that I will succeed through that because I have made it through the past 2 mo. and I really struggled about 3 weeks of it. I don't ever want to go through that again.
I'm feeling better-sort of. I think anxiety, which I am diagnosed with as well as bipolar depression has totally ran my life certain periods of this quit. I remember that my psychiatrist had prescribed clonodine for me when I initially took it. I tried it but it made me so tired, I quit taking it. On Sat. when I felt my brain and body screaming for a cig-I also felt like my whole body, inside and out, was shaking, I told myself that this is just not right. I tried the clonodine. It worked but I felt like I couldn't stay awake. Now I'm taking 1/2 a pill and that seems to work a lot better for med. It is not time released so I know it's safe to do this.
I'm not sure how but I found Kelly's blogs. I read through them and was feeling so bad for all she has had to go through at the same time realizing that that might be my future might be too. It is time to take my 6th. mo cat scan this mo. and see my pulmonologist. I don't live in fear of my severe copd diagnosis but it is a reality for some of us. Does Kelly still come here? I don't remember seeing her.
I have appreciated all your support during the rough patch I've had over the past week. It's getting a lot better! Today is my last patch and I am happy about that even though I know I'll going to go through the initial cravings for a few days. I look forward to being 100% nicotine free except:
I guess I'm exposed to 3rd hand smoke when I'm driving our car. My husband and I car share and he smokes in there, mostly going to and from work. It's a bit of a distance so I have not asked him to quit and I barely even notice it. The other day I gave my friend a ride after she got in an accident. She also has copd and a lung lobe removed from a tumor. She is very careful to not be around 3rd hand smoke. She suggested to put some charcoal in the car to neutralize it. Does anyone else know anything about this or any idea's. I know he will not quit smoking those couple of cigs to and from work.